To ask how you afford childcare for 2 children?

Had 1st child age 36 and couldn't wait around for 2nd child so they have a 19 month age gap.
I gave up work and just looking to return now that the oldest has turned 3 and gets 30 hours.
Even with the 30 hours she still only gets 8am - 1pm as we've stretched it over the full year 😕

I went part time and DH and I work alternate days so 1 of us is home with the kids every day.

Yes it's so expensive! We've just decided to do a big enough gap that by the time I return to work after 2nd oldest will start school

for those that went on mat leave, did you pay for your toddler to stay in nursery to keep their place/socialisation?

We used a cm, but I withdrew dc1 (27 months) as soon as I started mat leave. He loved it at the cms but it was just a cost I couldn't justify. He slotted right back in a year later when they both went...thankfully the cm had space.

Wouldnt a full time nanny not be cheaper with 3 kids @UpToMyElbowsInDiapers

for those that went on mat leave, did you pay for your toddler to stay in nursery to keep their place/socialisation?

Childminder here. We still paid and still sent our toddler. He was 3 days away from his 2nd birthday when his brother was born. I had a rough birth so I was really glad of him being in full time childcare.

I did start feeling a bit guilty about it as I recovered from the birth, but equally he'd had me all to himself during mat leave so it only seemed fair that his brother got the same. Plus my eldest loves going to the childminders as they're always out and about exploring with other kids.

I've just started back at work and have no regrets.

It's hard. We had two in nursery at the same time from 15 months old to 4yrls old. We didn't qualify for the 30 free hours either. We earn well but it's still a shocker to suddenly pay 2.5k+ per month. And that was only for 3days a week

We spaced ours out so we only have one year of two sets of fees. We could have avoided it entirely even with the same age gap as our eldest is summer born but we have decided not to start them in reception until they turn 5. I've had to quit my job and move to two different jobs, and reduce my working hours, although my pay will be about the same as before as one of my new jobs pays a much higher hourly rate than the other one and my old job. We are also considering DH dropping a day too in a few months time once I'm settled into my new jobs.

It's a minefield, and we both want at least one more child, but the fact is we probably can't because I don't think we could afford another one. And I already have no proper career or job security or pension, spacing a load of children out every 3-4 years really isn't conducive to any of that, but we can't afford to have them closer together in one go so to speak.

A full-time nanny would be cheaper, but we’re solving for a few things.

• bringing up our DCs in French is important to us. Finding a francophone nanny isn’t easy and commands quite a large premium. The DCs’ nursery is French
• We want our kids to go to the state French school nearest our house (1.5 km away), but the way catchment boundaries are drawn, our actual catchment school is 9km away and in totally the wrong direction relative to work. The nursery they go to is in the school we want them to go to, and is a “backdoor way” in to a place at the school that is infinitely more convenient for us
• we love the socialization they get at nursery, and they have really lovely friends there. (And awesome food!) I like the community it gives DH and me too
• because of the nature of our jobs, we need coverage sometimes (though not always) from 7:45-5:45, 5 days a week. Good luck finding a nanny willing to work all those hours!
• When my DCs get sick at nursery, at a pinch I can somewhat work from home with one of them (or DH can… more likely). If we were reliant on a full time nanny and THEY got sick (as happens often with our part-timer, who has recurrent strep), we’d be truly screwed with 3 DCs under 6 on our hands

There is no magic solution sadly! We had one year of double nursery fees which for three days per week was over £2,800 a month. We are both high earners (although I work part-time) and only qualify for 15 free hours not 30 but even then it was barely worth my going to work (especially in a stressful, busy role) for that year.

Many people space the children out so they get the free hours before the second one goes to nursery, others take out a loan and repay it when both are at school. The lucky ones have family help, but that’s not without its downsides. It’s rubbish.

We had a 4 year gap between our kids. I was 33 when I had DC1 and 37 when I had DC2.

We had an age gap where one had started school before the other was born so we didn’t have 2 lots of expensive childcare to pay at once as after school club was cheaper for the eldest.
In your shoes, if you don’t want to wait, you can look for cheaper options when you have to pay for both. Like your eldest can go to a preschool and during term time, the school hours will be free and you can have a childminder doing drop offs and pick up so like wrap around care if you need to or both can go to a childminder fully which will certainly be more cheaper. Also if you can your partner can work 4 compressed days a week and have a separate day off each, it’ll mean you only need childcare for 3 days so cheaper than what you’re paying now.

We couldn't needed part time work, compressed hours and family help with one child, we definitely couldn't have afforded with our second even with the 'free' hours at nursery.

4.5 year age gap between mine for this reason! Would have preferred less of a gap.

I had my second when my eldest was 22 months. DH and I both worked four days a week so three days childcare to cover. DS stayed in nursery while I was on mat leave. I went back after a year so we had about three months of paying a total of £1,300 for both kids before DS funding kicked in. At that point his bill went own to about £220 with using tax free childcare. I think there’s a huge difference in cost between three and four days once funding kicks in as it covers a lot of the year on three days but the fourth day (and fifth if you need it) is basically entirely paid for by you all year round. So we had a couple of years of paying a total of about £850 for both kids but we’re lucky to earn enough that it wasn’t a problem. It was nice when DS went to school and DD funding kicked in and now we pay £220 for her and just a couple of days after school club for DS. Bottom line is, we worked part time and are lucky you earn well or we couldn’t have afforded to need childcare for two kids at the same time. No family help here either.

We didn't think it through (idiots) but just about managed with half a day childcare each day instead of full day as they both nap for ages in the afternoon while we work at home/locally but that was pure luck or we would have been pretty screwed

My second was twins. Took a 10 year loan to cover 3 years of childcare until 30 hours kicked in

Don't use a nursery for pre school use one attached to a school - cost will be much lower or zero

We had to remortgage the house (surprise pregnancy when eldest was 7 months old).

glad youngest starts school next week it’s been a tough few years!

I'm just about to have second and am keeping DD1 in her childminding space simply because I need to keep the space open for when I return to work. Hoping then for baby to start going there too, but spaces are scarce, the CM is fab and I can't risk losing her as she is a 10 min walk away and the only one in the village.

Also keeping her going because of other reasons - I don't think she'd cope well being at home all day with me and baby and not socialising, I would end up spending more on activities with her, I want time with new baby on our own, I want to keep her socialising as she loves going there etc etc. I am however cutting her hours down a bit and we are going to stop overpaying our mortgage for the year which will enable this to happen..... but this is current plan .... ask again in 3 month time when we are crippled with energy bills and can't afford it.... she may well be home with me then!

for those that went on mat leave, did you pay for your toddler to stay in nursery to keep their place/socialisation?

Yes, but reduced to two days from four. At the start it was a complete godsend with two under two and helped with my sanity. Down the line it meant I had some one on one time with the baby and got the housework done.

We have a just turned 3 year old and 11 month old twins. Just got our first bill through - £2200 a month .

Three year old gets 15 free hours now and goes mon- wed. Preschool

Twins will be going 4 days a week full days at a childminder .

We can make it work but it's expensive. Although the fuel bills etc have made this much worse. Might have to reconsider me not going back to work!

@Porcupineintherough I think it is awful
and unfair . It costs over 2400 pcm to send two children to nursery full time . Just shy of £29k a year .I think that is a huge amount .

I pay my mortgage , bills , taxes and contribute to society but can’t afford two children . I absolutely love being a mum and am desperate for another baby but we can’t afford two children in nursery . To me - it is bloody awful!

As a teacher , I watch so many people with large fan Ike’s who don’t even work and claim! I honestly feel like packing in my job and claiming for a few years whilst I pop out babies !!!!!! Why shouldn’t i???? But I don’t . I accept my gorgeous son is my only child . But it’s not fair to me !

Myself when I was a nanny and many others happily work 10/11 even sometimes 12hr days x 5

yours sound lovely hours and yes nannies do get sick but usually less time the children havinf time off childcare settings for bugs sickness etx

but get the French thing as that’s what you want

think how rich uou will feel when all at school 😃

I think it is a good idea to look for other nurseries, childminder or a pre school for when they can claim the free hours as 700 does sound expensive.
I have just less a 3 year age gap between mine so the 30 free hours started while I was on mat leave with the second.
The nursery we have used more recently has been great for the free hours as they don't charge any extra for lunch or anything and can use 10 hours a day over 3 days. You can't spread it over the year so if they go in the holidays you pay the standard day rate.
Even a pre school might work although hours are not great but may be able to use with a childminder or an afterschool club if there is one.