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AIBU?

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Original poster

Out of order to tell on someone having an Emotional Affair?

40 replies

GossipJoan · 02/09/2022 13:33

Found out a woman in our friendship group is having an EA with a chap she met. I've messaged one of his relatives I know with all the evidence. They share photos🤐and moan about his wife and her ex. The relative has checked out his profile and found him following camgirls and celebrity women making remarks. The relative is going to confront him with what she knows but not say how she knows.

IANBU - he's a sleaze who deserves all he gets
IABU - none of my beeswax

OP posts:
minipie · 02/09/2022 13:39

You sound like a busybody tbh. Collecting evidence, getting a relative involved. Now posting on MN about it. I’d stay out.

NancyVicious · 02/09/2022 13:39

Why get involved? I wouldn't insert myself into someone else's dramas like that, no good will come of it

PurpleDaisies · 02/09/2022 13:40

What made you start collecting evidence?

slashlover · 02/09/2022 13:42

How did you gather evidence? What's the difference between an EA and a friendship?

Catapultaway · 02/09/2022 13:43

You're the creepy one in this story

MessyBunPersonified · 02/09/2022 13:43

You're practically salivating over the drama of it all.

You're not doing it because you respect his wife and think she deserves better. You're doing it to get a cheap thrill at someone else's expense.

theremustonlybeone · 02/09/2022 13:45

How very unpleasant of you. Apart from this person being in your friendship group you have nothing to do with this or their family so why are you so invested in throwing a bomb into her life? Are you jealous? Your username suits you... friends are meant to be people who have your back not and you trust-

Footbal · 02/09/2022 13:47

Do you not have a life of your own. You sound nasty.

minipie · 02/09/2022 13:47

Ah hang on, just spotted username.

Reverse?

SkirridHill · 02/09/2022 13:48

How do you know they're messaging each other? Do you have access to those messages to know the content of them?

Justcallmebebes · 02/09/2022 13:48

You are totally out of order. Not enough drama in your life?

Why is any of this any of your business?

MrsDanversRidesAgain · 02/09/2022 13:49

Great user name.

BackInBlackAgain · 02/09/2022 13:49

Are either of them married/in a relationship as you havent said. If both are single - none of your business, if either or both are in a relationship - still none of your business

Original poster
GossipJoan · 02/09/2022 13:55

BackInBlackAgain · 02/09/2022 13:49

Are either of them married/in a relationship as you havent said. If both are single - none of your business, if either or both are in a relationship - still none of your business

He is married with kids. She is not.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 02/09/2022 13:56

And your reasons for being involved are…

RainbowsMoonbeams · 02/09/2022 13:58

Keep your nose out. They are being awful, but it’s not your place to get involved.

Original poster
GossipJoan · 02/09/2022 13:59

Well if my DH was doing this I would be glad someone told me so I can deal with the situation. I don't want to be an ostrich or a bloody mushroom.

OP posts:
loves2plan · 02/09/2022 14:00

minipie · 02/09/2022 13:39

You sound like a busybody tbh. Collecting evidence, getting a relative involved. Now posting on MN about it. I’d stay out.

This

MessyBunPersonified · 02/09/2022 14:01

GossipJoan · 02/09/2022 13:59

Well if my DH was doing this I would be glad someone told me so I can deal with the situation. I don't want to be an ostrich or a bloody mushroom.

You haven't told the wife though, you've told a relative, MN, and probably a whole bunch of other people.

Noorandapples · 02/09/2022 14:06

I would want to know if I was the wife, who would choose to keep on being lied to and betrayed for years? I would thank you!

ManateeFair · 02/09/2022 14:07

You still haven’t told us how you know the contents of the messages between these people and how you have acquired ‘evidence’ to share. So presumably you are actually the woman the man is having the emotional affair with and you’ve decided to ruin everyone’s lives when you got dumped or it didn’t go any further.

Original poster
GossipJoan · 02/09/2022 14:11

ManateeFair · 02/09/2022 14:07

You still haven’t told us how you know the contents of the messages between these people and how you have acquired ‘evidence’ to share. So presumably you are actually the woman the man is having the emotional affair with and you’ve decided to ruin everyone’s lives when you got dumped or it didn’t go any further.

I'm not the OW. I'm married and have not and would not have an affair.

I don't actually have to tell you how I know. But I will say this. The woman in our group (social group is more of a descriptor than friendship group) who is the OW told me and another of our cake bakers what was happening and showed us pictures. Said they were planning to meet. So two of us know. I know the man's relative from somewhere else, so I told her. She dug around and found out more.

OP posts:
minipie · 02/09/2022 14:13

If you were a good friend of the man’s wife then I could understand wanting to tell her or confront him

But you don’t even know this man or his wife

MrsDanversRidesAgain · 02/09/2022 14:13

Get a hobby (apart from cake baking).Something that occupies you constructively would be good.

Divebar2021 · 02/09/2022 14:16

Well with friends like you….

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