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AIBU?

Would you leave a job just because your boss drives you mad?

12 replies

Faciadipasta · 02/09/2022 11:14

So I like my job. The work is enjoyable, the people for the most part are lovely, the organisation does amazing, important work and it's pretty flexible.
The issue is I literally can't stand the big boss. I don't report to them directly so on an average day can pretty much avoid them but there are a few projects I manage which do have to go through this boss.
They nitpick everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. For example in one project there was a complaint that I hadn't given full information on one part (I had, they just hadn't read it properly) and in the next paragraph there was criticism that there was too much info, although the exact same info (on a different topic) that I was criticised for not including earlier.
This boss pretty much sees our work as their life. Its a charity so this is more understandable than it might seem. But although I am proud to work there it is NOT my whole life. I have children, hobbies, a husband etc.
This boss expects everyone to be available at the drop of a hat.
I work school hours but there is regular pressure to attend evening events to promote our organisation. We are told we are expected to attend. I know i can refuse since it isn't in my contract but it's VERY much looked down on when you don't attend. DH works long hours so childcare is very tricky to organise. Particularly since they don't pay overtime so I can't afford to pay for childcare (we get the time back though).
Also they have decreed that we have to be back in the office for a set number of days a week even though this means that I can work LESS hours and therefore cant get my work done, which i find super stressful.
I agreed to flexibly increase my hours whilst wfh as we are short staffed. I can only do this because I'm using my commuting time though
My direct boss is amazing. Super flexible, literally doesn't mind when or where I work as long as I get the work done.
I just feel the big boss constantly undermines me (and everyone else working for them to be fair I don't think I'm singled out) and treats us all with contempt. It's even wierder when I think about the empathy and compassion this individual shows to our service users. This person clearly does have a big heart, just doesn't seem to see the way they treat their workforce.
Any my question is - should i try and find a new job just because I cannot stand this person, or just suck it up and try and avoid them whenever I can?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

16 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
25%
You are NOT being unreasonable
75%
ThinkingForEveryone · 02/09/2022 11:54

Hmmm tricky one, if you had said you had to work with this person day to day I would have said leave.
As you can mainly avoid them and you like most other things about your job I would say stay on this occasion.
Maybe keep your eye out for your dream job but I wouldn't be in a rush to go!

CeciliaMars · 02/09/2022 12:23

I think it really depends on how easy it would be to get another job on a comparable salary in the same industry. If not too hard, then start looking. If difficult, I think you'll have to suck it up and appreciate the good things!

Summertimesadnesss · 02/09/2022 12:26

Yes I would

Tohaveandtohold · 02/09/2022 12:35

I would look for a new job and leave. I won’t make myself jobless because of them mainly as you don’t have to see him on a day to day basis however I’ll look for a new and suitable job and leave.

WildWombat · 02/09/2022 12:36

I did. But then I wasn't keen on the job either. The new manager aka Bitch From Hell was just the final straw.

NotLactoseFree · 02/09/2022 12:38

I think this is a perfectly acceptable reason to look for a new job. The big boss is creating a culture that makes employees feel undervalued and over pressured. Bosses further down the food chain are doing their best to mitigate this but ultimately, the top boss sets the culture and it's one that doesn't work for you.

abovedecknotbelow · 02/09/2022 12:39

Yes I would look to leave. Been in that situation and leaving was the best decision. I wouldn't leave without a job to go to.

godmum56 · 02/09/2022 12:40

Can you raise it with your line manager? I'd leave if it was viable, but also if leaving was viable but i liked the job them I might give forthright feedback to the big boss on the basis that you have nothing to lose.

malificent7 · 02/09/2022 12:40

I've just done this . No regrets.

maddening · 02/09/2022 12:41

Only you can weigh it up, between all pros and cons.

I would look for another job in order to compare and contrast the pros and cons of existing job to prospective jobs as it all really depends how they mark against each other.

The beauty of your situation is that you only need jump for the right opportunity, it is not an urgent job search.

J0y · 02/09/2022 12:41

There is always one annoying person.
This may be the boss but you can avoid them, mostly. I would go to half of the work dos. Tell him you would rather not to voluntary unpaid work in the evening but out of respect to him and the hope that that respect is mutual you'll do every second evening do

Clevererthanyou · 02/09/2022 12:42

I have handed in my notice in my current job because of this, but your boss sounds like an angel compared to mine. We work in the care sector and the man lies, cheats and steals all the day long, he's also on drugs and I am done with the horror show that follows him around. Job interview next week in the charity sector though, what are the chances!

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