Would this upset you?

[namedhange]

Woke up this morning to dh wanking next to me. He didn't realise I had woken up was clearly watching porn on his phone. I just pretended to go back to sleep.

We have a 3 y/o so he doesn't get much opportunity but it still makes me feel icky. I'm 12 weeks pregnant and we have only had sex once in that time because he isn't interested when I'm pregnant he finds it too weird, we only had sex a handful of times when I was previously pregnant.m but sex life returned to normal after.

Not sure whether to even mention it or not dunno if aibu

I’d find that offputting. He could go to another room

Honestly, no it wouldn't bother me.

Yes it would. The porn more so than the masturbating but I would definitely expect him
to go to another room.

Could your toddler have walked in? Surely the bathroom is the place for that? Private time is surely that?

I would definitely mention it, more so to ask him to be more considerate. Im trying to sleep, dont need to woken by him knocking one out, he can go in the bathroom/downstairs/in the garage but do not wake me up.

I don’t see the problem. Masturbation is normal, natural and healthy and I don’t see an issue with the porn either.

If you’re feeling insecure because you’re pregnant that’s something for you to deal with, not put on him.

Yuk i would of told him to go and do it elsewhere

Would you say the same if they were having sex?

As the toddler could walk in, should all couples be having sex in their bathrooms until their children move out?

YANBU

That's rank and disrespectful. At the very least he could've gone off to another room, not whilst lying next to you!

Yes I would mention it. Say you didn't like to be disturbed from your sleep by it and you don't like seeing him watch porn. Request he doesn't do it next to you again. It doesn't need to be in a shaming way just stating your feelings about it.

Did you find out his views on pornography before you started a relationship with him? More importantly did you let him know your views?

Yes, it would. I don't mind my partner masturbating or watching porn, but not right next to me where I am aware of it. I only ever do it when I'm alone/in a different room.

Actually we have a wood block up against our door when necessary!!
But op and her dp would have been prepared for a possible intruder.. Caught up in the solo moment with porn isn't the same.

@Creepymanonagoatfarm we're the same and try and make sure they are asleep or out, no child needs to walk in on their parents having sex!!

No a solo session is easier to hide if a toddler came in

I don't have issue with porn or masturbation I just don't like him doing a sexual act next to me when I'm asleep I suppose

Then tell him

I don't know anyone who'd be bothered by this, but it doesn't matter - you don't like it so tell him

I don't honestly think this would bother me. It would be bother me if he'd done it knowing I was awake and he didn't care about my feelings, but not if he'd thought I was asleep and believed I wouldn't know anything about it.

However, we all have different boundaries and it obviously bothers you, so I think it's fine for you to broach the subject with him and say that you totally understand why he was doing it but it was a bit uncomfortable being woken up by it so if he could maybe go into the bathroom or downstairs or something next time, you'd appreciate it.

Not quite sure why PPs are saying 'What if his child had walked in?' to be honest. If his child walked he'd stop immediately and be mortified, just like you would if a child walked in on you having sex. I don't think it's standard for adults to confine all sexual activity to a locked bathroom for years just because they have a child, is it?

Probably my low self esteem in pregnancy contributing. Thanks for your replies