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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not let evil in-laws stay in your home

12 replies

Sibicatsndogs · 02/09/2022 01:36

I've been married now for 8 years so far I have not received my dowry or wedding gold from my in-laws.

They had a whole year from my engagement day to wedding day to try and get to know me and my family and discuss wedding planning. They did not ever bother once to call us or talk to us about wedding preparations. My mother in-law kicked my hubby out of the house so she wouldn't have to be part of wedding planning or pay anything.

My sister in-law spread horrible rumours to our family friends (she was training to become a driving instructor) instead of teaching clients she spread horrible lies about me to attack my character. She went so far to say my hubby only marrying me because my pregnancy. ( At this point I was already married and my father had our nikkah done because my hubby got kicked out this way he would have a place to stay)

My dad took out a loan for us to pay for all wedding expenses hubby and I slowly paid it back. Unfortunately our wedding day ended up clashing with one of my in-laws family members wedding day mainly because that evil sister in law caused so much trouble and I had to change my preferred date. Due to this hubby chose not to invite them.

So I've been married now for 8 years and have 3 children now. I absolutely dread and dislike Eid now because of these evil people. They act like we owe them and they always cause arguments between hubby and me. It's either his evil sisters he's stuck up evil aunt or evil mother.

They always want this or that or want us to fix something call utility companies fix other problems when they can speak perfect English. His siblings always want us to buy them expensive games consoles and gadgets. He's youngest sister manipulated him very recently and got hubby to give her my TV without my consent (my Sony TV which my father bought me as a gift for my first house) to me that's stealing!
I've sworn to myself to never ever forgive that evil woman and prayed for karma.
She works full time has no utility bills lives rent free. But takes a tv from a mother of 3 with a mortgage and house hold bills and vet bills. I can only work part time as I have a slidded disk and severe back aches. We had to take out a finance to replace the TV.

This month my hubby's cousin married and I found out the groom's family paid the bride ££££ dowry and they paid towards the wedding costs as well. That just put salt over my wounds. They manipulated my hubby and acted so petty to take my TV without my consent yet can splash on weddings. Clearly it's personal choice to be evil towards me and not because of poverty.

Fast forward a few weeks so I found out these evil in-laws are having troubles with their neighbours. It's pretty serious police had to be called out many times ect. Apparently they are worried about their safety so my hubby asked if some of them could stay in our house for a short period.
My hubby is completely blinded or delusional and can't see how badly they treat us. (My heritage is from a different Asian country to my hubbies my children are mixed)

Obviously I refused. Why should I let these evil people that kicked out my hubby and treated me like trash and spread such horrible lies about me. Made my life miserable for past 8 years want shelter in my home?! Would anyone be crazy enough to let marriage wreckers and home wreckers live in their home?! No! Call it karma but what goes around comes around!

Am being unreasonable??

OP posts:
cstx89 · 02/09/2022 02:24

So sorry to hear OP.

I would not let them stay! Tell them to stay with other family members pr pay for a hotel.

Stick to ur guns! X

Kitkatcatflap · 02/09/2022 02:38

Tell your Husband, you want your TV back?

BobbysGirly · 02/09/2022 02:54

Your MIL works but doesn’t pay rent and has no utility bills? She took a TV from a mother of 3 who pays a mortgage and vet bills? Scandalous! Make sure you get your dowry OP. You’ve already waited 8 years too long. Bloody money grabbing in laws! 🤬

Sibicatsndogs · 02/09/2022 08:42

MIL works and all his siblings work ( 5 adults live there they all work) but still expecting us to buy them expensive gadgets. I really don't trust them when they don't get their way brainwash him and cause arguments. The TV grabber was the youngest SIL she works full time and had student finance without living in student accommodation or having any expenses as she dropped out of uni after a month. But still was to cheap to buy her own. I've asked hubby to tell them to give it back but he cares more about upsetting them than how I feel. I told him how much it meant to me. I didn't want a upgrade that was a special gift from my father.

OP posts:
SarahProblem · 02/09/2022 08:47

You have a DH problem.

Poppyblush · 02/09/2022 08:51

Your do needs to grow a pair.

PinkDaffodil2 · 02/09/2022 08:52

The problem here is your DH - how to conversations about the in Laws go?

badbaduncle · 02/09/2022 08:53

why did DH give his sister the TV? Why is he still in contact with them? Tell him to get your TV back and not speak about them or mention them to you again. If he wants to see them you don't have to be in any way involved.

TabithaTittlemouse · 02/09/2022 08:59

Your husband is the issue. He is allowing them to behave like this towards you.

Whataretheodds · 02/09/2022 09:07

Yep this is a DH problem

hedgehoglurker · 02/09/2022 10:12

YANBU. I hope your husband learns to support you and to stand up for himself better.

Are they involved with your children at all? How do they treat them?

Crayfishforyou · 02/09/2022 10:16

Tell them to use the money they saved on your lack of dowry to rent somewhere else

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