To want to leave my kids and run away

[BrokenRainbow22]

Just as above really I'm struggling mentally and emotionally atm. I really want to just leave my kids with their Dad kiss them, get in my car and just fuck off and never come back. I'm no good to them as a parent like I wasn't a good partner to him, they would be 100% better off. Men do it all the time so why can't I??

Probabaly because you’re a good mum and your partner is a shite partner and dad. That’s my guess anyway.

What makes you think you’re a bad partner and mum?

@Haggisfish3 because he left me and because I just know I am, how can I be emotionally available for them when I'm a complete mess inside my head

Because you have to be? I’m not trying to be unsympathetic but it’s true. And how lots of my friends cooed. They just did. How old are dc? Why ha she left? Where has he gone? I suspect your relationship has not been a happy one.

@BrokenRainbow22 I have been where you are now and it's shit and it's hard. But I promise you that it will get easier and even though you will have hard parenting days, your children will love you so hard.

I used to put my earphones in when I was overwhelmed and just wash the dishes and listen to a podcast or music just for 20 minutes or so, or have a hot shower. My DD's were 5 and 8 when my ex left so they were safely able to sit and watch tv alone for a short time.

Sending strength and love. I promise it will get easier.

Us mums are always on our knees by the end of the summer holidays and having done 6 weeks by myself I'm mentally and physically knackered. Be kind to yourself x

This!! You just have to be. And it's unfair and hard but you just have to pull up your big girls knickers and roll with it. It's the hardest thing but you will get into a routine and you'll feel the pressure ease eventually x

Antidepressants helped me… Namely lexapro And it took 2 weeks t-ó see a change. if you feel crap all the time… get help… loads of people want to help you… go to GP and find your better self… Calm app is good and bbc have mindfulness for free … hugs, Hour Kids love you And so do others…

You’re right plenty of men do it but the fact you can leave your kids with him suggests he is still involved and not abandoned them, the relationship with you two is just over? It’s sad but sometimes relationships end and we just have to accept it, it sounds like it’s early days for you so I’m in time you will feel better

DC are 5&7. He's not seen them since he left just sent 2 shitty letters the one arrived this afternoon and its really set me back how cold he was. He said 'I would rather have nothing than have you back in my life' I must have been an absolutely awful person to him. He wants to see them tomorrow at 12 I don't think I can manage seeing him, he's broken our family up by walking out.

I am trying to be strong but its so hard at the moment, I am on anti depressants, mirtazipine 45mg every evening been taking various anti depressants for over 2 years.

Can you get a weekend off in a Premier Inn? A mini break but no harm done. Your kids need you however hard it seems. And it is hard.

well doesn’t sound like you can leave them with him then can you? Is this the ex that wrote a suicidal letter to you? He’s allowed to leave the relationship no one says a woman can’t leave a relationship.

You can do it. But you don't really want to.

You need help, both practical and emotional. Do you have any?

Did Dr offer counselling as well as pills?

It can and will get better, but it's hard and sounds like you're in a very bad place.

Your ex is being very cruel in what he said, suggests he is unlikely to be blameless in the relationship breakdown.