Hi all,
A few years ago I posted about one of my oldest friends partner sexually assaulting me quite nastily.
I am married and have been happily married for a 11 years. My DH and my ex friend's tinder partner (who I'll refer to as twat) became friends and we all spent time together, days/nights out etc. One evening I didn't fancy going out neither did my friend so we both stayed home in our own houses, my DH and her ex twat went out and ended up returning to my house drunk and carried on drinking.
My DH was very drunk and said he was going to the loo and never returned, when I went to check on him he was fully clothed passed out on our bed. I informed twat my DH was passed out and his mood changed he tried to kiss me....absolutely mortified I said WTF are you doing, he apologised, feeling awkward and shocked I said forget it and made a conversation stating I was shattered and rambled on about being tired. Again he tried to kiss me, I immediately told him he needed to leave. He got up as to leave but dragged me into the lounge and assaulted me on my sofa. At the top of my lungs I screamed my husbands name genuinely feeling petrified.
My husband had been drinking top shelf and I was terrified he wouldn't wake up, I thrashed cried and screamed whilst being punched in the face and throttled. I heard my DH coming down the stairs, twat threw me on the floor and pretended to be asleep on the sofa. My DH saw my split lip, swelling eye bloody nose and without hesitating kicked 10 bells out of twat and dragged him down the drive still beating him.
In shock we sat up all night, I was inconsolable and DH was raging!!
The next day my DF of 20 years messaged me saying her BF came home black and blue and said he was attacked unprovoked by my DH. We put her straight, she was calm and told me to contact the police. My DH sent her pictires of the bite marks and bruises on my breasts, my black eye, my bloody nose and split lip. I did contact the police requesting information (Claire's law) he has been charged with previous. This information was passed onto DF. SHE BLOCKED ME!!
Deeply hurt and confused my life turned into a mess, I drank a lot, I gained over 3 stone because I genuinely wanted to be fat. I know that sounds ridiculous!! My heart was broken and my trust in people gone and my confidence shattered.
I replaced my sofa, I redecorated supported by my DH just to try and make my home feel like my home again and slowly began to put myself back together. I changed my job sorted myself out ad best as I could and slowly moved on.
3 years down the line, I'm doing ok, I am a bit of a recluse, I don't like going out unless we're out of our area, I still have flash backs, I struggle to trust people, I worry if my DH drinks top shelf the smell of brandy and whisky makes me gag in my mouth BUT I AM OK!!
2 nights ago DF messaged my DH asking him to tell me she loves me. SHE STAYED WITH TWAT FOR ALMOST A YEAR after this incident which hurt me the most!! We live in a small area, we have 1 small supermarket which I didn't use for a long long time due to the fear of bumping into twat.
Part of me misses her so much and I think why let twat destroy a 20 plus year old friendship and I long to see her, the next minute I feel hurt anger and rage.
I feel I can't forgive her BUT she has always suffered MH problems since we were young and I do believe she'd of made that year living hell for him. Nevertheless she wasn't there for me at all.
The reason I didn't report him to the police was stupidly I wanted to protect her, secondly I dreaded the thought of facing him again and most importantly we have CCTV on the driveway which clearly filmed my husband giving him a good beating and I was terrified my DH would end up the one in trouble. I have seen the footage once and although I detest this twat it's uncomfortable to watch and distressing. I wasn't brave enough to go through the procedure of "justice" and risk my DH at the same time. No CCTV of what happened in the house only what happened outside. I was scared it would be turned around onto my DH and twat being the victim.
Should I talk to friend and try and move on although I think this would be extremely hard or should I just forget her and move on? I miss her, I share some of the happiest memories of my life so far with her but also now the worst!!
My heart feels heavy and my head is so confused, it's brought so much back to the surface the last few days which I thought I'd buried. I didn't expect to ever talk to her again but I now find myself feeling sorry for her and missing her but also wanting to scream at her although she played no part in that night she stayed with him.