AIBU?
To dislike being a parent/wife right now?
Catchoos · 01/09/2022 18:56
So I am 7 weeks PP with my 2nd and have a 2yr old. So far my 2nd has been a handful; hardly sleeping, colic, crying for hours, won’t sleep in cot or Moses basket and having plenty of feeding issues including tongue tie.
My toddler has started to have severe tantrums, wants to constantly be sitting on or touching the baby, cry's when baby cry’s, refusing to change nappy, gotten fussy with food, wants me to play with them but won’t let me play when I do and is generally very needy especially at bedtime.
DH is trying to make things easier but seems to make them somewhat harder. He takes 1st down in the morning and gives him breakfast and sometimes does a wash and pops it on the line (at 7.30am letting my kid run wild screaming too). He doesn’t do much more than that, no cooking or cleaning and he want to have a work out every lunch break (he works from home) or go to the gym in the evening. If I ask him to do something it’s huffing, he reluctantly does it or does the bare minimum, if I ask him to take the kids so I can do something I feel rushed and he gets easily frustrated with my kids when they get upset.
I have absolutely no me time, I need a hair cut and Pedi but have no time to get them done. Some days I have to choose between eating or having a shower or doing a chore.
AIBU to just hate where things are right now, as in I feel at my wits end and so overwhelmed with it all. I feel like I put a brave face on but underneath I’m a wreck and ready to pack it in.
Or should I just be thankful and get on with it? Which I keep telling myself as others have it worse that me.
I generally wonder if I’m started to go insane and it’s a dream. BTW I am very thankful for family!
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
bozzabollix · 01/09/2022 18:58
It does get easier, I promise. They say teens are bad but nothing compares to the toddler stage! Drove me insane at times, literally.
Hang in there! Each stage changes fast and in a flash they’ll be at school.
DucklingDaisy · 01/09/2022 18:58
Didn’t want to read and run. I feel you. With a 3-year-old and 8-month-old I’ve started to get my sanity back a bit.
SunshineClouds1 · 01/09/2022 18:58
It's all getting on top of you 
your adapting to two children.
I would have a conversation, tell him how your feeling.
Split the jobs out, he's getting an hour a day, so are you now.
Sapphire387 · 01/09/2022 19:01
I hear you. It's the most insane parenting stage, the toddler/newborn combination!
Your DH needs to step up. You also need to allow him to step up (you wrote 'he gets easily frustrated with my kids' - they are his kids too).
It sounds like you badly need a break. You need a proper conversation with your DH. How he behaves now has the potential to affect your marriage long-term.
Wouldloveanother · 01/09/2022 19:04
7 week old and a toddler and he’s buggering off to the gym most evenings? Er, no! Set him a list of tasks that will total 1.5 hours and give it to him every day 👍🏻 don’t be a push over!
Marblessolveeverything · 01/09/2022 19:06
Your DH needs to step up - you need extra time to recover from the birth. So depending on your feeding method you can try and block off time for you to sleep / chill and then other times, maybe over the weekend for some quality self care.
Your DH expectation to have every break without responsibility is not practical.
I found with sleep and knowing I had some time downtime at weekend kept me sane.
LannieDuck · 01/09/2022 19:10
The problem is your DH. Why does he think he gets to go to the gym every evening? Do you get every evening off? Of course not, so why does he think he does? With a newborn, I suggest he gets to go once a week, but you might be more generous than me!
He should be doing the majority of the cooking and cleaning at the newborn stage. Again, why does he think he doesn't have to do any of it (even his half)?
rnsaslkih · 01/09/2022 19:10
Having a workout every lunch break whilst you are struggling with a giant workload. Perhaps he has not understood how selfish he is being. But like people have said, a baby and a 2yo is fucking hard and it will get a lot easier.
SidSparrow · 01/09/2022 19:10
I near got PTSD just reading your post. Such a difficult time, you have my full sympathy.
Just be in survival mode. It does get easier, but at the moment you're on 'take it one day at a time' mode. Have no expectations other than making it to the end of the day.
hellotheirsugar · 01/09/2022 19:19
Hi op.
Been their and il tell you it does get easier !!
That time when your DH takes your oldest down for breakfast etc use that as your time to relax and if baby's asleep grab a shower an lie in bed for abit !
My DD was absolutely awful feeding an crying and colic etc when she was born (number 2) I wanted to leave her and run as she wouldn't settle and I swore I'd have no more. she's now 5, my oldest is 7 and I have a 2yo and I'm due again in 8 weeks!!!! Their all brilliant and help each other when their not arguing 😂 but it soon becomes rewarding and you will find your feet. It's all so new xx
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