To think I was over-drugged for giving birth?

[Purplegras3]

How much anaesthetic did you have giving birth? Looking back now I think I was super over-medicated and it did me no favours bonding with my baby. For the first week after birth I was like a glazed zombie until the drugs left my system. I had 8 epidurals, mountains of gas & air and some other drug I can't remember the name of. I was full-on hallucinating that I was in my favourite tv shows. I couldn't see the room I was in. When the anaesthetist asked me to turn over for another epidural, I asked to whose side was I to turn? And I named the characters I could see around my bed. I could also see my dm at the foot of the bed, naked and standing on a plinth, painted head-to-toe in gold, holding up a bunch of grapes! 😆It's funny looking back but also fucking serious because I couldn't walk for 24hrs after and I couldn't be present to my baby's needs either. Anyone else experience the same as me?

What idiocy. OP had an epidural with normal top ups, gas and air and one dose of pethedine. She had very few drugs.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow we try not to use pin prick that much because of the risk of skin damage with a needle. Cold spray/ ice is more common. You also don’t need to access the back to test sensation - it can be done in the supine/sat up position. If the epidural’s not working well, then the chance of it affecting the BP is lower so there is scope for giving top-ups (but local anaesthetic toxicity can become a concern depending on what local drug and dose is used).

@wibblywobblybits its less common these days, but occasionally epidurals are run as clinician delivered top-ups only. That would particularly be the case if the epidural wasn’t working well (which the OP has said hers wasn’t). HTH.

Thanks for clarifying! It still wouldn't be classed as 8 separate epidurals though would it?

I had two separate epidurals as my first fell out when they were examining me. Also two lots of pethedine, gas and air, and a spinal block when I needed an emergency after 63 hours in labour. Whilst I was rather out of it at times, and being on pethedine and gas and air together sure was a good ole trip! I still feel I was able to make informed decisions, and I felt completely with it by the time baby actually came.

I had gas and air and pethidine for my first and spent a while explaining that I felt like an elephant giving birth. I spent the first 48 hours in a coma so had no chance of early bonding.
We did bond and we're still close even though he's an adult now.

The coma was nothing to do with my birth but a familial condition after giving birth.

I have never been as off my tits as I was on pethidine and believe me, I am no angel. I was not normal for days after, because of the sleep deprivation. I kept taking DD to the nurses going ‘she’s purple!’ and they were like ‘maybe have a rest. Your baby’s fine’

@Purplegras3
Two epidurals (both failed)
had oxytocin ( absolutely agonising contractions)
I was young and fit, but it was extremely exhausting, the crushing contractions.
I said “Please help me” in a whisper… to then feel my upper thigh being pricked with pins?!

I said “ What are you doing?”
Midwife said “ you shouldn’t be able to feel this”

and went and got pethidine

Pethidine knocked me for absolute six.

Zonko.

I felt I missed out on my son’s birth,
plus he was zonko too, too sleepy for breastfeeding
It took a while to establish it successfully.

Pethidine was horrible- Like being in a sea of red pain that felt far away.

Too sleepy to care about it.

So I sympathise hugely.

The thing is, @Purplegras3, no-one can predict how you will react to drugs.

I had a procedure with sedation, which really didn't make much difference at all to me (I had to have further pain relief - fentanyl). The experience of other posters on here is that they had no pain and couldn't remember anything when having sedation.
On the other hand, I find that full anaesthetics leave me feeling a bit out of it and under the weather for about two weeks after, yet some people bounce back far sooner than me.

Ditto.
Pethidine hit me like a sledgehammer.
Ive had diamorphine and Morphine (hospital) for op in later years and no way were they as “heavy” as Pethidine.

I had gas and air with my first birth, I wasn't exactly hallucinating but it spaced me out so much that I completely lost interest in the birth and stopped pushing, I was too busy chatting away feeling really giddy. The midwife apologised and took the mouthpiece away from me, which I feel is totally appropriate if it's affecting the birth.

when you have an epidural and it’s only working on one side of the abdomen, you are tilted to your painful side to try and get it to drain to where it is needed, could this be why they were turning you?

You wouldn’t have 8 epidurals, but your right that you could of had one epidural and 8 ‘boluses’ of medication. Impossible to say if it was too much without knowing how long your labour was and how big of a bolus you had. I imagine you were in a great deal of pain tho and requested more pain releif, the anaesthetist wouldn’t attend and administer more medication for no good reason.

Perhaps request a debrief?

yip With my first I was so over medicated I had to be recuissitated.

You can have epidurals resisted after the epidural catheter is in… I see it regularly, but not 8 epidurals in This case, just 8 top ups which is normal.

you can have an epidural sited on your side although it can be more challenging.

you likely were a zombie due to long labour, exhaustion and motherhood, not the drugs in labour.
you can very much hallucinate off drugs, gas and air, pethidine, diamorphine but wouldn’t affect you days later.

I ended up over medicated for different reasons, had an emergency c-section in the evening, they gave me endone for the pain after the fact. Middle of the night I felt like I had knives sticking into me so they doubled the dose. And gave the double dose to me again in the morning. Was then so knocked out/nauseous/dizzy I couldn’t sit up and was bed bound for another 24 hours. But also still in a lot of pain. The pain team did their rounds and switched me to a normal dose of tramadol after that.

MIL is a nurse and when she saw the dose she said she was surprised they gave me that much endone. That it would knock a large man flat on his back. It did affect my ability to bond with, care for and feed my baby, but it was only temporary.

My birth plan 2nd time around had 1 instruction only - No Endone. My pain was managed so much better it was amazing.

Then when I had my appendix out a couple of years later they gave me endone despite my protests (I was in a lot of pain and they convinced me the anti nausea pill they also gave me would counteract it). The nurses were then shocked when they went to discharge me that I couldn’t really walk and needed a wheelchair to get me to the door. I hate that drug.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow we try not to use pin prick that much because of the risk of skin damage with a needle. Cold spray/ ice is more common

Still in use here! Not actual pins admittedly - more like those plastic neurotips that neurologists have. Though I agree that any sensation may have confused the OP into thinking she was having another top up.

I had an epidural after 48 hours of labour which was a thing of beauty, they have no hallucinatory effects as they’re just local anaesthetic delivered straight into your spine. I napped with mine for several hours. Then I had gas and air when they had to try and manually turn the baby who was “stargazing” (basically fisting me then moving their arm like a mechanical mixer, thought still gives me chills). And then again during ventouse. And then had gas and air again during forceps, the epidural had just been topped up (by me) but it wasn’t sufficient (normally you’d be given a spinal) so I had almost continuous gas and air (instead of having a break between contractions) and did hallucinate with that, I thought my husband was talking to me like I was our dog, then I thought I was dying as I blacked out and saw a light at the end of a tunnel.

Then I had a spinal during emergency caesarean after 51 hours of labour, and diamorphine afterwards. No issues with the diamorphine, the spinal made me very nauseous and shaky about ten minutes after delivery for about half an hour which was a real real shame as I felt so awful I couldn’t even hold my baby, DH had to take him. I do regret that but apparently it’s a fairly common reaction to the anaesthesia.

I also had to ask for pain relief as I’d put on my birth plan I didn’t want to be offered it and my very diligent newly qualified midwife stuck to that! It was only when I saw the gas and air hanging on the wall I remembered it existed - 48 hours in labour isn’t great for mental faculties…

Then after the birth if anything I was insufficiently medicated as despite having a category 1 caesarean, they weaned me off the dihydrocodeine after just 3 days so I was unable to even nurse DS without searing 9/10 level pain at the incision. I had to get readmitted and prescribed it again it was so bad.

It’s tricky, as I think if more women chose to have, and had access to, the most modern epidurals (where you can walk and go to the toilet and top it up yourself, like I had) then actually people would avoid more mind-altering drugs like gas and air and pethidine. But there is so much pressure on women to avoid them that most women see them as a last resort.

Gas and air made me lose all muscle tone - I could hear but I couldn't move, or feel. I could hear them gently slapping me, but I couldn't tell them I was ok. As it wore off, I could gradually feel them touching my skin, then I was able to talk and move again.

I had pethidine with DD2. Horrible. Made me slip in and out of consciousness. I didn't hallucinate as such, but 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' was on the TV and I kept hearing Chris Tarrant saying 'Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike... You've lost, you've lost, you've lost, you've lost.....' Totally weird.

I am teetotal though, and medication has always been very powerful in me, to the extent that a GP refused to prescribe me something on the basis that it very rarely caused low sodium levels and she said that if anyone was going to get it, it would be me 😂

How long ago did you give birth?

Was it during crazy covid restrictions? Stress of that could’ve contributed to bonding issues.

ditto breastfeeding expectations and it not working as well as you’d hoped can affect your feelings of bonding.

did you have to stay in hospital long? Overly long or quickly pushed out after 24hrs can feel disorientating especially if you need a little 1-2-1 support.

you do know it’s normal not to feel a rush of love and feel absolutely spanked for days or a week or so after right? Your body has gone through a major process and hormones going squiffy. Add in the lack of sleep and it’s amazing women get out of bed in the first few weeks and manage to function.

im not saying it wasn’t the drug cocktail you had but there’s certainly other factors to take into account too that could account for the bonding issues you feel as well as it being a potentially normal timeframe iyswim.

I had 2 epidurals but only because the first one didn't work!

The anaesthetist did every top up and took great care with it. I remember being told to keep still each time. He had to come back & do it over and over because it wore off.

It’s such a tricky balance, over vs under medicated. I had 2 hours of pushing an impacted baby with no pain relief, that was no fun either!

@Madwife123 I was lying down for my epidural with my first (they couldn't get it in while I was sitting, they tried), and I had to have a spinal after delivering my second and that was also done while I was lying down as I was heamorrhaging and couldn't sit up as the midwife was keeping pressure on the wound.

OP- my mum reacted terribly to pethidine and said she felt awful after my sister was born so I decided I was definitely not having that as pain relief. I hope you are ok.

The mother baby bond is yet another thing to make mums feel bad. I had no bond with my first and full bond with my second. Both I will give my life up for and both are the best teens I can hope for. There is so much more to being a good mum so don't beat yourself up over small minute detail like birth process. It is like 0.0000001 part of being a mum

Are you sure it wasn't diamorphine you had? I wouldn't even know where to start describing how I felt with that. The things I saw are indescribable it's super weird

I’m sorry you have had such a rough time of it. I hallucinated on gas and air when I was being sewn up after having DS. I thought the doctor sewing me up was an actual real life Twirlywoo (bizarre kids tv show my DD was really into). My DH was mortified by me doing a comedy loud stage whisper over and over again saying “she’s a f*cking Twirlywoo” and getting cross at him telling me she wasn’t as he wasn’t looking properly. I was in so much pain though I was chugging on the gas and air which obviously sent me doolally!