To find constant flurry of messages stressful

[Passtheshops]

One of my friends has always messaged a lot but she stopped working two years ago and since then it’s just got a bit ridiculous. If I send one reply it just encourages this frantic barrage so I’ll receive five or six in short succession. She also sometimes sends one message in three or four so a message like I am so tired is I (one l) am (two) SOOOO (three) tired!! (Four.)

If I ignore they do stop but then I feel bad as she can see I have been online if I reply to someone else. I know I could disable this feature but I quite like it!

I am not necessarily seeking advice on managing it but I am just wondering if others would feel as I do. When I’m busy my phone constantly buzzing stresses me out (I have muted her in the past but then inadvertently ended up ignoring her for ages!)

Don't keep replying. It doesn't matter if she sees you've been online and not replied - in fact, that's a good thing, because then she might get the hint.

The problem is that unless I completely break off the friendship as soon as I DO reply the flurry starts.

I feel the same. I mute all messaging notifications on my phone except for my partner and in-laws in case of any childcare issues.

I do have a preview widget on my phone (Samsung) that lets me read WhatsApp messages without opening them so I can ignore them until I'm ready to reply.

I used to text message a lot in my early 20s but can't stand it now. Would much rather speak on the phone or in person. I do feel overwhelmed when someone messages constantly, but I usually wait until I'm ready and then reply with a paragraph of text.

I don't bother having any sound for any notification, so I just periodically look at my phone for messages. The phone is on, and will ring for a call, just not ping or vibrate for texts, Snapchat or messages

Oops, posted reply too soon and now I'm posting in instalments which makes me as bad as your bloody friend! Sorry. I was going to add that I would find constant messaging like that stressful too, so I completely get why you feel this way, but I would risk offending her for the sake of not feeding her need for attention.

Actually it's probably not even a need for attention, is it? It's probably boredom. She's using you to pass the time instead of getting a hobby or something.

Is she actually badgering you to get back to her or does she just break her message up into different bits? For example it would be quite normal for a friend to message me

omg have you been watching stranger things
I’m obsessed
Dustin is my fave

as three separate messages, and I wouldn’t think that was particularly unusual or annoying

I
am
sooooo
tired

as 4 messages is just a style of texting for emphasis. I wouldn’t find that annoying. I don’t think it’s unusual.

I quite like my phone buzzing away! But I don’t feel any pressure in that. I reply when I want to, and at the length I want to.

Try turning your phone off. It's that button on the side.

I often break messages up. Most people I message do too.

I do mostly have my phone on silent though.

But I shouldn’t have to do that, should I? Because people might actually need to contact me.