To thinks things are harder to achieve nowadays?

[TheLostNights]

Speaking to my single friend who is 39 and single with no kids, just got me thinking. Aibu to think things are harder to achieve nowadays? For example, it used to be easier to meet someone back in the good old days but now it can be a lot trickier. People suggest dating sites but often, that can be a disaster. Getting onto the property ladder is incredibly difficult now in a way it wasn't before and balancing family life with work is more of a struggle. Where as before, many families could afford for one parent to be at home with the kids, usually the mum. That is not do able now.
Cost of living is rising and wages are staying stagnant in many jobs.
Aibu with what I am saying?

it used to be easier to meet someone back in the good old days but now it can be a lot trickier.

In what way ?

balancing family life with work is more of a struggle

Than when ?

Where as before, many families could afford for one parent to be at home with the kids, usually the mum

When ?

That is not do able now.

Well, clearly it is, as lots of families do this.

YABU. You are just throwing out vague headlines.

I agree - you could purchase property on one salary - I did at 26, now you need two sharing.
Mums stayed home or worked very part time.

Woman and equality just dragged wages down, instead of equal - huge mistake!
Business underpay and workers claim benefits and childcare vouchers - big push to get more woman into work - who end up paying for childcare and not much else.

We’ve accepted this from government and business far cars for far too long .

YANBU. For the first time in perhaps 100 years, it will be significantly harder for our kids to better their parents. That applies to jobs, housing, savings, pensions etc.

Don't know about relationships as I'm still trying to work out what kids do nowadays 😂

it used to be easier to meet someone back in the good old days but now it can be a lot trickier when my MIL was young, she expected to meet someone young, someone local, and stay married. She got married at 17. My Mom is a bit younger but that was still largely true and got married at 18. Now we have different expectations (later marriage, more promiscuity, further Ed, travel, more acceptable to not want to meet someone at 16, more acceptable to get divorced etc) so our ability to delay and have more choice (ie not just mates or mates of mates where you live) has made us fussier.

balancing family life with work is more of a struggle compared to the 70 and 80s with 3 day weeks and redundancies and strikes and all that? Compared to the post war years when we were rebuilding a country without such a massive social safety net?

Where as before, many families could afford for one parent to be at home with the kids, usually the mum but the "I want" lost was shorter. Kids shared more to a room, had hand me downs til they fell apart, holidayed a few days on the coast. Now it's deemed terrible if they don't have a double bed, own roo mat telly by puberty, designer labels are cool and holidays are numerous and extravagant. That's without getting into comparisons on Xmas and Bday lists between me as a kid and my kids

That is not do able now
It is, but you need lower standards. I know lots of households like that, like ours, with benefit top ups, renting, UK holidays and hand me downs

@Kite22 my parents had had us in the 1970s and 1980s. It was still the norm when I was growing up in the 1980s that everyone's mum was at home. And it is harder to juggle life with kids when both parents work.

My dad had a salary equivalent to around £40k nowadays. In most of the families I know who have a SAHM nowadays, the main wage earner is bringing in double that. How much of a mortgage could you get with a household income of £40k today?

Some stuff is a lot easier nowadays. I can order my shopping from the comfort of my own home at midnight for example. But buying a house of a single salary is definitely not easy these days.

No, some stuff is easier and some stuff is harder.
Same as it always was from generation to generation.
Looking back with rose tinted glasses is just a sign of middle age. Again, same as it's ever been.

Women have higher standards for relationships now. Back in the day it was hard for.women to be fully independent and the expectation was to marry young and be provided for. Women don't rely on this any more and many women would rather be alone than settle for a wanker.

Do wish there was a 'Like Button' on here.

I totally agree @SleepingStandingUp , @alwaysmovingforwards , and @HangOnToYourself

@Threelittlelambs - I bought my first property at 26 and my dc has just bought their first property at 26. Mine was a flat, and for it to work (in those days of 15% mortgage rates) I had to have a lodger. My dc's is a house. They turn their nose up at the idea of a lodger.
Mums stayed home or worked very part time. When ? As I have always WOTH. As did my mother (who would be in her 90s now if still alive)

@Yellowblanketofdoom - you must not have lived where I did. See above about Mums working.

It's all anecdotal isn't it.

We can't always look back through rose tinted glasses at our own childhood memories and presume 'everyone else' was in the same situation.

I honestly think a huge difference is attitude- for example I was a teenager in the 80's- I could never, ever have brought a boyfriend home to sleep in my bed with me as a teen! no way but it seems the norm now. This is a reason 'kids' moved out and matured earlier-
I got my own place at 19 (grotty flat) but I could do as I wanted. It is very normal these days for a 'partner' to move in at mum and dads from 16/17/18? and they have their comfortable double room with ensuite.
I stood on my own two feet from then - I think we infantalise young people massively these days ( I do my own 20 yr old DS ]
I don't think it was easier to meet people back in the day but people were more honest as you met them 'in person!' I met my DH in a pub! I spoke to a random friend of a friend and we got on very well! - I really dislike the 'tinder' thing - seems really easy to be someone you are not.
As for wages- my mum always worked ( as well as my dad) as mortgage rates were 15% back then so it was not as easy as people think.

It's so much harder. In the 80s if you were an artsy type you could move to a decent squat and build yourself up to getting a property. Or if lucky enough you could afford to rent in am alright shared flat for 10% of your wages. Good luck now...

I completely agree and couldn't of said it better. Too many women in the work place means that there are not enough jobs for men and wages have gone down. The government want women to work as well as thier husbands so they earn more tax. We are in a vicious cycle now of 2 parents working, parents having to use a big chunk to pay child care and its impossible to get out of. I work part time ( 4 days a week) I would give it all up to be a SAHM who looked after the family and house.

Seems to be. I know quite a number of attractive, personable women in their thirties who just cannot and never have had a regular boyfriend. They have tried everything, hobbies, online dating, but they can't get one. Equally I know more than a few men with Filipino/Thai wives they "met" over the internet and barely knew prior to marriage, which I'm sure never used to be a thing. There also seem to be a large number of "man-children" ie living at home or supported financially by their parents into their late thirties and forties, without full time jobs.

I also think many jobs are much harder now, with more targets and quarterly reviews and so on, and much more micro-management.

But I'm glad to see competition for the jobs-for-the-boys lot and more ways out of poverty for women than marrying a semi-abusive man, or being stuck in a terrible relationship because they can't afford to leave.