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Original poster

Manager ignoring me, are my expectations too high?

23 replies

iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:12

I think my manger has the illusion he’s very experienced and knows everything. He banged on about this particular process to me and when I looked into it noone (including him) had followed this since 2020 and for the level of spend it wasn’t applicable to my project anyway.

I’m still quite new and I’m trying to do my work and a colleagues work who’s on annual leave. Their project is huge and worth 400x anything I’ve dealt with before. Lots of eyes are on it.

He knows I’m panicking about it and I asked for his help locating one document as I don’t have access to all the systems. Messaged him and told him exactly where I’d already looked and would he mind helping.

instead for 2 hours he’s left me on read and it’s now close to the end of the day.

Are my expectations too high? Should I assume that I’m pretty much on my own and asking for support is pointless?

OP posts:
Testina · 31/08/2022 17:17

You haven’t said how critical that document is. If you can proceed perfectly well without it until the end of the week and he’s seen your message but he’s in a meeting, then you’re a bit OTT here. I’ve been in meetings where people have phones out and can see messages / emails in case of urgency, and that’s OK, but it’s considered bad form to actually pick your phone up and type - unless it really is urgent. Or he’s seen it and wants to locate the document before replying.

WorkCleanRepeat · 31/08/2022 17:17

It's only been 2 hours. He could have read the message mid-meeting and not had time to respond yet.

Testina · 31/08/2022 17:18

Your post seems like an over reaction.

WagathaChristieMystery · 31/08/2022 17:22

Do you have regular 1 to 1 catch ups with him e.g. weekly? If yes, could you mention in one of these that you’d like a bit more support from him and be clear about what support you need (he might not realise!) And if you don’t have regular 1 to 1s with him and think it would be helpful, could you mention that to him?

Original poster
iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:23

No it’s a legal document I needed today in order to allow a department to submit crucial information to a supplier for a £20m deal

OP posts:
SheWoreYellow · 31/08/2022 17:25

I guess he read it and forgot to reply. Ask some other people.

Natty13 · 31/08/2022 17:26

iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:23

No it’s a legal document I needed today in order to allow a department to submit crucial information to a supplier for a £20m deal

In that case it's his problem. Don't stress, he is paid more than you to deal with this stuff and its on his shoulders if the document doesn't get to where it needs to in time.

I say this as a manager.

Testina · 31/08/2022 17:28

iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:23

No it’s a legal document I needed today in order to allow a department to submit crucial information to a supplier for a £20m deal

And you didn’t pick up the phone 90 minutes into the 2 hours?

WagathaChristieMystery · 31/08/2022 17:38

Can you chase him now or is it too late? Just emphasise the urgency in a message (and then at least you have everything in writing). Can you copy anyone else into the message who might be able to chivvy him along a bit? I don’t mean that in a passive aggressive showing-your-manager-up way - more to show him and anyone else who can help that you’ve tried to solve this problem on your own and now urgently need his input.

drpet49 · 31/08/2022 17:39

If it was that urgent why didn’t you ring him???

Rainraindontgoaway · 31/08/2022 17:48

Have you not thought to phone him???

Original poster
iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:49

drpet49 · 31/08/2022 17:39

If it was that urgent why didn’t you ring him???

I had already rung and spoke to him about the situation. I also spoke with legal. Then messaged him. He’s well aware of its importance.

OP posts:
Testina · 31/08/2022 17:54

iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:23

No it’s a legal document I needed today in order to allow a department to submit crucial information to a supplier for a £20m deal

That doesn’t sound time critical.

Not: if this department X doesn’t submit Y Legal Document by 17:00 on 31.08 then the £20m deal is off.

But: department X is ready to submit form Y to the supplier as part of the project steps towards the £20m deal, but can just as well send it tomorrow with no major inconvenience.

I speak as someone who spends a lot of time chasing documents through projects!

If it’s the second scenario and he was busy, I think you’re really going from 0-60 posting about being unsupported.

WagathaChristieMystery · 31/08/2022 17:55

I think you’ve done everything you can here, short of writing a message to him and legal (and anyone else who you think should be included) just to recap the importance of dealing with the document.

I appreciate you don’t want to hassle him, but definitely worth following up your phone convo in writing and including everyone in that email who needs to be involved, so everyone is clear about what the situation is and what needs to happen next.

After that, it sounds like it’s all on him and that you’ve done everything you can. It’s absolutely worth covering yourself here, for want of a better phrase, just so everyone else is clear you’ve taken all the actions you can and should have.

Testina · 31/08/2022 17:55

iwanna · 31/08/2022 17:49

I had already rung and spoke to him about the situation. I also spoke with legal. Then messaged him. He’s well aware of its importance.

Show quote history

So what did he say when you rang him?

justfiveminutes · 31/08/2022 18:32

If he's left you on read it is usually one of two things.

Either he is busy with other, equally important things and although it is a priority for you it is not for him.

Or he is irritated that you are asking him for help. He may think you have asked for help too often, or that you should know how to find this document yourself, or that there are other venues you could have tried to find it, or that you should have asked before today, the last day in which to find this document.

Or something more trivial. - he's ill, he has personal issues to resolve, he forgot, he replied but it's still in drafts.

It's unlikely, surely, that he wanted to leave you in the lurch and lose the deal.

Original poster
iwanna · 31/08/2022 19:37

justfiveminutes · 31/08/2022 18:32

If he's left you on read it is usually one of two things.

Either he is busy with other, equally important things and although it is a priority for you it is not for him.

Or he is irritated that you are asking him for help. He may think you have asked for help too often, or that you should know how to find this document yourself, or that there are other venues you could have tried to find it, or that you should have asked before today, the last day in which to find this document.

Or something more trivial. - he's ill, he has personal issues to resolve, he forgot, he replied but it's still in drafts.

It's unlikely, surely, that he wanted to leave you in the lurch and lose the deal.

Your post is full of presumptions.

I’m supporting a colleague who’s off and it’s their project. The issue only came up today so I only had today,

I rarely if ever ask for help. I prefer not to. I also told him each route Id gone down to find this (including calling our US office) and could he help as he has access to systems I don’t.

It should be important to his as his manager and his managers manager have their eyes on this.

OP posts:
Testina · 31/08/2022 19:56

You still haven’t said though - does it actually need to be done today? Like, the deal falls through if not? It only came up today, so it sounds like not. So he may have other priorities for the last 2 hours.

What was the exchange in your initial phone call with him? If it was you both agreeing this document HAD to go today and you being tasked with finding it, and your text message said you couldn’t… then yes, it’s unsupportive to not reply as it seems unlikely he had a higher priority than a £20m purchase going through today.

But if it didn’t have to be sent today, then it’s not unsupportive to not come back to you today.

justfiveminutes · 31/08/2022 20:44

"Your post is full of presumptions."

No it isn't. I haven't presumed anything. I have listed lots of reasons why he might not have helped. What do you think the reason is?

justfiveminutes · 31/08/2022 20:46

"Are my expectations too high? Should I assume that I’m pretty much on my own and asking for support is pointless?"

This does seem melodramatic given that he just didn't respond within your two hour timeframe.

Of course you should be able to ask for help.

But there are lots of reasons why he might not have been able to do it within two hours.

What happens if you indeed assume that you're on your own and support is pointless? Can you do the job?

Testina · 01/09/2022 07:51

I think if @iwanna approaches her work the way she has this thread, her manager probably had his head in his hands over the WhatsApp waiting for her to actually answer the rejecting questions he’d already asked 🤷🏻‍♀️

feellikelilac · 01/09/2022 11:38

Testina · 01/09/2022 07:51

I think if @iwanna approaches her work the way she has this thread, her manager probably had his head in his hands over the WhatsApp waiting for her to actually answer the rejecting questions he’d already asked 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why do people have to be so nasty?

SleeplessInEngland · 01/09/2022 11:41

Threads like this are always odd - without knowing your sector, your company, your seniority or the minutae of your office politics it's simply impossible to answer.

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