to think video games aren't just for teenage boys?

[KassandraOfSparta]

Why does playing video games have such a poor image/reputation?

Numerous threads on here with posters confidently proclaiming that they wouldn't let their children play games, would never date anyone who plays games, would never dream of gaming themselves.

Why is gaming any less "worthy" than sitting watching sport all evening, or soap operas, or painting watercolours or doing jigsaws? Just another form of entertainment, isn't it?

And before anyone pops up saying it's so addictive, well of course anything taken to excess is a problem, whether you're staying up all night with your crochet, jigsaws or tv boxset.

I, my husband and all our friends are big gamers. Personally I love city builders, 4X games and other strategy genres, though also love Monster Hunter and recently moved Elden Ring. I hope my two daughters are into it when they're old enough ☺️

Forgot to add, we're all in our 30s, so definitely not ternagers!

I'm a gamer. Have been from a young age and still now in my 30s. I was the only girl in my friendship group who was a gamer and I still receive comments from friends that's it's a "male hobby".

I see it as a wind down. I still do things like read, exercise etc and a game only comes after house work, work and our baby is content (usually once they're in bed!) It's a rare opportunity for me to escape and switch off from work and "real life" for a bit.

Love massive open works games like skyrim, RDR 2 and GTA; also fantasy and shooters. Currently replaying the Witcher 3 as it's just amazing!

I'm 53 and my best birthday present this year was the game Stray! I don't really care what anyone else thinks about it. My husband works in the gaming industry for a game that a few people have mentioned, he doesn't play loads these days but he does have to keep on top of new content etc.
We both do plenty of other things, we're not in a basement demanding more hot pockets 24/7.

Delighted... strange choice of words there. And why does a hobby have to help you interact? Such a lot of judgement going on there.

The big problem with it like box set telly and opposed to hobbies like knitting, painting or gardening is that it’s unproductive. I mean it’s really fun and mentally challenging but ultimately it’s pointless.

So is a jigsaw puzzle or a cryptic crossword or a board game, but I don’t see anyone sneering about those.

Why do you assume that people who play video games ONLY play video games.

Has it occurred to you that people are able to have more than one interest?

You forgot to add smug, you are delighted and smug. Yours are into sport at the moment, you do know people's interests can change right?

And being smug/delighted about a child's choice of hobbies is really weird.

Also agree that most people have multiple interests/hobbies.

I have fibromyalgia. On bad days gaming is the one thing that helps distract me from the pain.

Minecraft is an amazing creative game. You make so much stuff and then you don't have to find places to store your creations where they sit gathering dust.....

Favourite fps? Got to be the Deus ex series. What does Adam Jensen say when the restaurant gets his order wrong?
I never asked for this!

I also love Civ VI , Nebuchadnezzar and Stellaris.

Its so utterly pathetic when you hear people moan about gaming or other hobbies time is being spent on. Who cares, its their life they can choose how to use their time, so long as your other responsibilities are not neglected or impacting anyone else detrimentally - go game for a few hours, go out cycling for 3hrs, play football etc. Whatever it is.

I incidentally still love doing a few hours of Donkey Kong or Mario Bros my 20yr old SNES

Reading a book or painting a picture or solving a puzzle doesn't help kids to 'learn how to interact in real life situations' either. Are they bad too?

My MIL is in her 70's she bought a ps5 the day they came out, way before my teenage boys got theirs

Well they're certainly not just for teenagers as teens who played it in the 90s onwards are now adults and many still play.

So the question is really 'are videogames just for men and boys'. And the answer, of course, is 'no, they don't habe to be'.

*have to be!

I've seen plenty of threads on mumsnet complaining about partners who prioritise gaming over family life, never seen that about books and jigsaws

I am a huge gamer and I love it - it's something that I can share with my teenage DC (which is rare!). I was a teenager in the 90s and had Gameboys and a Megadrive etc but even bore that in the 80s I had a BBC Acorn and a Commodore 64 which I just adored. I don't see the harm and I don't see why it has such negative connotations, it's just another hobby.

"It does not help kids to learn how to interact in real life situations
Mine are just into sport and i am delighted"

Mine are also into sport, playing 4-5 times a week. And alongside A levels/uni also have part time jobs interacting with customers. Doesn't stop them also being massively into gaming. Everything in moderation, variety is the spice of life and all that.

So do people who game have more sex then?

The big problem with it like box set telly and opposed to hobbies like knitting, painting or gardening is that it’s unproductive. I mean it’s really fun and mentally challenging but ultimately it’s pointless.

You are very very wrong. Many people have built successful careers off the back of their gaming 'hobby'. Like the Darling brothers. Still, in the gaming industry today, which is an absolute MASSIVE industry.

Eh?

Well, YANBU.

You ask why people are snooty about it, I suppose I might fall into this category so I will try to explain.

Now I think about it, I have no strong feelings (feelings at all, in fact) about people who might spend an hour a day on a game, same as they might do a crossword or read a book or watch a soap. Fine, do what you enjoy.

I think with gaming it’s the addictive nature of it - people rarely play for just one hour at a time - and the association with gamERS, ie people who define themselves by this hobby, that put me off.

No doubt I am wrong about this and I am indeed narrow in my preconceptions, but I sort of view gamERs as escapists living an alternative life, instead of living their life in the real world. As with addictive pastimes of all sorts I suppose.
I (no doubt incorrectly) assume that we will not have much in common because as a gamER, I presume their gaming hobby is all-consuming.

I can see the appeal of gaming really, life is stressful and escapism is tempting. I remember playing The Sims for 10 hours when I was a teen avoiding GCSE revision. That early experience has been my warning really. I am fairly sure that if I started I could get very ‘into’ whatever it was I found that suited me and I could find myself becoming a gamer. But playing the game would mean that I spent less time doing other stuff in the real world - walking, cooking, having coffees with people, gardening, shopping, stuff that I can look back on as ‘my life’ when I am old. Being present in the physical space around me and making connections with people who share this space is important for my sense of who I am and for my mental health.
Mental health among gamers is a whole other topic.

Anyway, that’s the way I feel about games, and why, if I had children, I would be cautious about letting them play.

@Minfilia

"I just finished my last 3* on TPC!

Stray was cute, but short, and kinda annoying at times (I got lost in those apartment buildings a stupid amount of times but I have zero sense of direction)"

Trying to show your post but not sure I'm doing it right!

Stray was very short and I also have a bad sense of direction so got lost a lot around the alleyways - lost the old robot lady who knits the poncho and then lost the robot I was meant to be giving it to!! But I loved it, the hardest thing is trying to describe it to people and make it sound as fun as it was - they tend to say '....so...you're a cat?'

TPC is so much fun - well done on your 3rd star!!! I'm still working on the 3rd star at Fluffborough! My profits have just nosedived right on time for that to be a goal....it was through the roof for star 2!

Great post.

I am in my fifties and joint leader of a gaming clan where you need minimum stats and skill level to join. I was in a very elite clan a few years ago where you had an actual interview to be allowed to join.

The reason MN is especially negative is because so many women on here seem to end up with no lifers as we call them, they only game. They give gaming a bad name.

We have a couple of people in our clan who were when younger on esports teams and paid to game. That’s what so many young gamers want but it’s really rare. We also have a few people who are programmers, I myself was writing web pages in the dark ages back in the mid 1990’s though I’m not a programmer. DH also games, he is a science Professor and can code in a few languages and does use it for work.

My greatest achievements have been being part of a team who helped a deaf mute gamer through a complicated raid and absolutely chewing the arse off disrespectful men who feel threatened by women gaming. It is a horrifically misogynist area of life as anonymous.

@CeratopsofthePharoahs I have only been playing Minecraft for 2 months but it is a great game, wish I had played before. I just made my best thing so far an underwater rollercoaster that’s rolls through an underwater garden it goes straight in to a glass structure that’s got my enchanting table in and a big aquarium.