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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be constantly bad tempered?

32 replies

FredandFloReadyToGo · 30/08/2022 15:55

Posting for traffic.

I can't seem to help it I'm just constantly in a bad mood and irritated.

My husband's selfishness irritates me, my children irritate me and fitting in to other peoples timetables/wants irritates me.

My husband is extremely passive with anyone but me, and hates confrontation (again, except with me) and so agrees to everything everyone else says, then moans about it and gets stressed about meeting up to those expectations he's agreed to.

My children, especially the eldest, don't do a thing I say and I just want time away from them all the time. It's rare I enjoy time with anyone and I've slowly been backing away from long term friendships because they seem to have changed and be people I can't abide or have time for.

AIBU? Have I suddenly just had enough of other people's shit or is it me?

OP posts:
SleeplessInEngland · 31/08/2022 08:18

You seem reluctant to confirm but I assume the kids are toddler age. I’d contact your gp and see if anti depressants help.

GlueyMooey · 31/08/2022 08:33

We're you always a bit bad tempered or is this a new feeling?

How are you with sleep? I feel a million times worse with lack of sleep and with little kids it's obviously no surprise if you are exhausted. Is there anything you can do to improve it?

Diet and exercise? Can that be improved or is it ok?

Are there any other practical things that could help such as getting a babysitter in or dropping some of the kids activities?

The world does seem more depressing than usual what with the energy crisis, Ukraine etc etc. There is a lot to be worried about.

I definitely think seeing the gp would be good. If you have enough money maybe you could order some blood tests to check various things.

Little kids are adorable but they are incredibly annoying too. How old are your kids? Do they realise how annoyed you get with them? Can you have fun with them sometimes?

Dont be afraid to ask for help.

Good luck.

Original poster
FredandFloReadyToGo · 31/08/2022 10:42

JimJamJollyWolly · 31/08/2022 07:26

@FredandFloReadyToGo

I'm been there! For me it felt like the curtains had opened and suddenly I saw my life in technicolour and it was just awful! Nothing good to see here. It was depressing. I think it is a stage, and one we are allowed now (Pity the poor mothers of times gone by who had to put up and shut up!)

Anyway, you asked for advice, and I don't know you, or what worked for me would work for you. But the thing that I realised annoyed me more than ANYTHING was how I reacted to these things that annoyed me. I was always the soother and the fixer. I was going crazy noticing how much other people annoyed the hell out of me, but still grateful that I was able to keep going, keep the family steady and keep soaking up the madness.

You need to re-evaluate your life, start taking up some of the conversation for how you are feeling and place boundaries. Boundaries aren't rigid and they are sometimes misunderstood on mumsnet. You feel uncomfortable all of the time at the minute? I would guess that your boundaries are not great?

I became lazier, my standards dropped. I don't know how I ever kept them high in the first place!

Your husband needs to feel the ramifications of his commitments, so just say stuff like "I'm surprised you took that on, but you must have had a reason, I can't imagine taking on more than my workload".

Going back to work will help.

I am a bit of a people pleaser with lack of boundaries. My husband agreeing to things annoys me because it impacts me. He agrees to meet somewhere at 9; and then gets annoyed and stressed that everyone isn't ready at that time for example. Or moans that so and so wants us there so early - don't agree then!

Boundaries (and my lack of them) have actually been mentioned by a CBT instructor before.

OP posts:
Original poster
FredandFloReadyToGo · 31/08/2022 10:44

GlueyMooey · 31/08/2022 08:33

We're you always a bit bad tempered or is this a new feeling?

How are you with sleep? I feel a million times worse with lack of sleep and with little kids it's obviously no surprise if you are exhausted. Is there anything you can do to improve it?

Diet and exercise? Can that be improved or is it ok?

Are there any other practical things that could help such as getting a babysitter in or dropping some of the kids activities?

The world does seem more depressing than usual what with the energy crisis, Ukraine etc etc. There is a lot to be worried about.

I definitely think seeing the gp would be good. If you have enough money maybe you could order some blood tests to check various things.

Little kids are adorable but they are incredibly annoying too. How old are your kids? Do they realise how annoyed you get with them? Can you have fun with them sometimes?

Dont be afraid to ask for help.

Good luck.

I'm awful with lack of sleep, which does knock on to the fact I eat rubbish, so am 3 stone overweight which also gets me down. No exercise - tried to fit in going to the gym but by the time my husband is home at 7:30pm it's so late and I'm so tired I cba.

They're 7, 3 and 7 months.

OP posts:
theruffles · 31/08/2022 11:29

I was like this - angry and irritable about everything, even with the cat for using the litter tray just after I'd cleaned it out. It was making me miserable and I knew a lot of the way I was feeling wasn't logical, so I went and spoke to the GP. I was prescribed anti-depressants (sertraline) and some counselling and it has helped so much. I still have the odd day where I'm quite angry or anxious but the tablets and some coping strategies have really alleviated a lot of the irritable feelings I was having. DC2 is 18 months old and it was a very hormonal pregnancy which turned into PPA/PPD. I put off calling the GP for months because I felt some shame that I couldn't 'pull myself together' but I realise now that it was more damaging not to do anything or ask for some help.

GlueyMooey · 31/08/2022 11:36

OP,
"I'm awful with lack of sleep, which does knock on to the fact I eat rubbish, so am 3 stone overweight which also gets me down. No exercise - tried to fit in going to the gym but by the time my husband is home at 7:30pm it's so late and I'm so tired I cba.

They're 7, 3 and 7 months."

That would be a simple enough reason to feel bad tempered if that was me. You need to prioritise yourself more. Eating poorly and feeling overweight (uncomfortable?) and tired would be enough to make me bad tempered and that's apart from everything else. I feel agitated if I eat poorly and am tired.

Createausernametoday · 12/12/2022 22:57

Sertraline

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