Lost temper with partner ...was i being unreasonable?

[pinkwal]

This week we are getting a bathroom fitted and also a house rewire.
So as you can imagine ...it's chaotic.
I've done most of the moving /packing myself but last night there was too big boxes I couldn't lift into the garage.
He said "oh il do it in the morning it's too late now"(it was 7pm)
He also promised he would Hoover living room before they arrived (cat litter everywhere )
Now the builders were arriving at 8am
So I set my alarm for 6.50 am to have a quick cup of tea.
7.40 am he is still in bed..he was awake but playing on his phone.
I asked him if he would move the boxes ...
"In a minute"
So I left it till 7.50 (still in bed ,not dressed ) and asked again...
"God can I have a minute"

Anyway I snapped "why say your gonna do something then don't do it"
At This point I had already hovered up

Was aibu ?

why do you think you are being unreasonable???

Leave him behind. Sold as seen.

Unfortunate you’ve hooked a lazy man

How could you be being unreasonable

He said he was tired and I was being "too " bossy.
I don't think I was,I just wanted to be ready for the builders arriving.

He sounds like a lazy fucker.

He was being a lazyarse. If he behaves like a recalcitrant child then why not treat him like one? Doesn't even sound like you lost your temper. You just said what you were thinking, in an unsoothing manner, after trying to be nice.

I’d ditch someone for calling me bossy. YANBU at all, he’s a lazy, selfish, sexist dick head.

Fucking hell, I’m losing my temper with him just reading this. Is he always such a lazy twat? Ya definitely nbu.

OMG, my ex was EXACTLY like this. It was infuriating. My therapist said that inertia is a form of control and I agree with her.

Wow if this event is so significant to you that you would post on here I would say you don’t have much to worry about at all!

This sounds perfectly normal to me. Just chill out!! You asked him to move it. The box will get moved if it needs to at some point I’m sure.

What do you think is going to happen; the builders turn up, see the box, recoil in disbelief and leave and you never see them again.

Sorry I’m just projecting what I would like to say to my friends when I have to listen to this kind of stuff and I sit there and nod. 😉 😂

Course you weren’t unreasonable

i cba with lazy men who need to be continually reminded and asked to do stuff then blame it on you for being “bossy”.

why did you do most of the moving and packing yourself? Let me guess… you’re used to his laziness

He's not a keeper. Doesn't do his share, lets you down, fails to step up when needed, shall I go on? You deserve better than this lazy oik. Get yourself in a good place then leave him and move on. Even if you decide not to now, you'll come back to this thread in a few years and wonder why you wasted years on him.

Yeah he is always ridiculously lazy ..
I just do it all myself now

Yup. He's controlling you by being uncooperative but blaming it on you. Escalate until he snaps out of it, or write off the whole relationship. Unless you want him to use you as a doormat forever.

He never had any intention of doing it.

Is he good for anything? Dump the fucker if not.

I just do it all myself now

How sad for you. Do you want to spend the rest of your life doing everything for this man?

As everyone else says, he’s a lazy arse and gaslighting you to believe it’s all your fault. You’ve basically done all the preparations for this building work, you asked him to do two very small things and he can’t even do that.

No you ANBU

@Hellywel , why do you feel you can say it to a stranger on the internet and not to friends?

I also ended up doing everything myself and resented him for it which he sensed and blamed me for of course. It affected everything as I stopped finding him attractive and went off sex etc which then became a problem to him.

Life shouldn't be as hard as they make it, I wanted a partner not a stroppy teenager. We split up and now I'm in the same boat of doing everything myself but without the resentment hovering over my life and it is lovely and peaceful.

good point. I do say what I think a lot and am direct. I have listened days maybe weeks of my life to women moaning about their husbands about petty issues . And I never moan about mine to others - just to him!!!

Obviously if someone is in an abusive relationship then that is another matter.

I do find it all quite tedious listening to the moaning about quite minor issues. So on that note I will probably leave MN!!

What on earth are you doing with such a lazy loser?

FYI....have some children with him if you want to experience real hardship, misery and bitter regret.

Your standards must be on the floor to be accepting this.

Why is that?

Throw a bucket of cold water on him and then get rid!

He sounds like my husband. Who I have told IS lazy.. ‘In a minute’ is one of his most often used phrases too.

NO YANBU