My child turned 18 but is in one more year of free further education, so I still get child benefit. Ex has been underpaying a petty amount of CS for years but at least it was regular.
Ex stopped paying it to my account the day after DC birthday (when it was usually due) and didn’t say anything, speak to me or ask about it. We were not on bad terms, we do still speak so this was intentional to not address it.
When I noticed the payments had stopped, I asked whether he was intending to give DC the money directly and he said no, 18 now. I sent a message explaining that I don’t want the money for me, but DC needs it to support their education, travel, equipment etc as they can’t get a proper job yet. I said I was disappointed they never spoke to me about it and yes, further education is not higher education so they still qualify as eligible for child support. I never got a reply.
I debated for a few weeks whether to apply to CMS for child support - which would be a shitload more than I was getting for DC - but decided against causing any upset to the DC by doing it as he would be SO mean to them and it would cause bad feeling, forever and tbh I will just manage somehow and don’t have to deal with him ever again.
I have had DC on my own for 15 years and he has had them once a week for one day (at the most) - his choice. I’ve done everything on my own with them and he hasn’t done anything with their education.
This weekend he told DC he was booking a holiday and then how skint he was. He then grilled DC about whether they still quantify for child support and told DC I sent him a shitty message calling him a bad father and that he had some stories of me being a bad mother - when they were a toddler apparently I walked out on them all one night and didn’t come home till 3am and he didn’t know where I was. DC repeated this to me and I explained I was only 25 and I went out once in 5 years to a nightclub with my friends, had loads of fun and came home late and my phone died but he had freaked out and got cross and came searching for me with DC in the car in the middle of the night (I omitted where he then didn’t speak to me for a week). DC said they didn’t care and would understand even if I did leave for one night, I’ve been there ever since and that’s all that really matters.
I am cross, I am very sad for DC. I also could still fuck him over for his precious money…. WIBU to do it, or should I just give this bitter mean ridiculous man no further thought?