To feel a bit left out and unhappy

[RunLolaRun101]

I am the only sibling not to ever have my birthday celebrated (goes right back to my childhood), I am the only one who gets ridiculed after making (sensible, calmly worded) suggestions or even just talking about my life. I am the only one none of my siblings ever make time to see - everything’s on their terms or it’s not at all & if I can’t make it nobody really cares.

I promise there’s no backstory. Things have always been like that - I have always been the family scapegoat and I tolerated it. But it’s only since I had a child myself (after a lengthy infertility battle) that the unfairness of it all has finally really started to bother me. As I’m seeing them start to treat my 2 yo son in the same manner.

My husband thinks I should go low contact and I will. But it hurts that I have to while my siblings (and parents) enjoy each others company & take holidays and just have fun while I’m left on the outside having to look in as always.

I guess this isn’t really an aibu. I know I am being unreasonable by wasting brainspace on them, but I don’t know how to not feel unhappy or mourn for the normal kind of relationships others have with their families.

It's really hard. And you absolutely can mourn the relationship you wanted but don't have.

I went NC with my mum, I spent years justifying why I couldn't, shouldn't and wouldn't. But then I realised I'd never have that relationship with her. It wasn't in her to give me. So I cut contact and walked away. She's since died. And do you know what. It was ok. I was sad, but again for the loss of what I wanted and didn't have.

Its not you, it's them. They have you as the scapegoat and unfortunately they won't turn that around, so you have to work out if you are ok to accept that for you and your LO. Or you will reduce contact and see how that feels for you.

sending unMNetty hugs, because I do know how hard this is.

You don’t deserve to be treated so badly. And your family don’t deserve you or your son. Their behaviour could have really negative effects on him so I’d walk away now. Make your friends your family—- you can choose them.

That is horrible. I only have one sibling but I know he's favoured. A silly example but I saw a filming of a TV show last week and was briefly shown. My parents didn't watch it cos "not their sort of thing", but I know if my sibling had been on it every single second would have been scrutinised by them to try and spot him.