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[tabathapattaz]

I have twins. One adhd one with aniexty ocd and attachment,

They are out of control, one of them is sooo disrespectful and swears, shouts hits is violent, if I take anything off him, he shouts back at me saying next I'll take your phone your stuff off you..

I've tried everything it's embarrassing taking them out, I'm a single mum, when they go to there dads he's constantly on the phone to me saying I'm to soft and it's my fault..

I've been having coaching and she's made me feel like absolute shit, saying I should not take the stuff away from the. Boys instead find another way like saying I know your angry but hitting your brother or me is not ok.. which is fine but what is the punishment!!

I'm now sat on my bed crying in my own room well the boys are fighting in the other room..

I can't do this anymore I really can't..

I do everything for them an yes I do think it's my fault cause I spoil them,

There 11 and they are completely out of control, the have no respect for me at all!!

One of them if I tell him of he tells me to shut up women, go away, etc.. what am I supposed to do with that, the lady said to say that makes me really sad when you say that!

I have no family support.. I don't have many friends cause they won't come round with there kids!

What the fA@&k do I do now?

Well the woman coaching you sounds fucking useless, I'd start by sacking her off first.
Are they worse together? Could you separate them, one stays with dad a week, the other with you then swap?
If not could dad have them for a week or so give you some respite?
How are you verbally when they get disrespectful with you? Are you good at verbally shutting them down?

How do they sleep?
Are they medicated at all?
Do they behaveat school?
What support do they have aat school?
Do they need more structure?
Do they need visual clues like pictogram?
Is your coach giving you any concrete strategies other than not what you're doing now?

Does the coach have any experience or experience with sn kids?

@Sunnyqueen

If he had theM for a week he would be on the phone constantly,
I've tried the coaching approach but one of there behaviour is getting worse,
He's so violent,

I've been told that I'm punishing them for there behaviour that is out of there control, Whixh I get I really do but there still has to be consequences surely, I was told not to take electronics off them, but instead take them out in the car or get them to help you with something nice..

I get they need there self esteem.. but when there wrecking my house, disrespecting me, or physically hurting each other there has to be something!!

They have fallen out with all kids on the street no one will play with them!

When he is being verbal, I have to ignore him, if I say anything it gets worse! If I take anything it's a nightmare

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

One behaves at school

The more verbal on doesn't at all, he will do what he wants to do, or he will kick off.. I love fought his corner so many years I've managed to get a ehcp for him..

He isn't medicate