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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that people who live semi detached houses shouldn't buy their kids drumkits

67 replies

QueenCake · 22/01/2008 10:00

Hi first time I've posted here but having been woken by neighbours child practicing drums at 7am I am feeling wholly unreasonable about everything.

We had our first rendition on Boxing day and have enjoyed (endured) weekly drumming sessions ever since. They are not normally noisy despite being a large family and our semi's are old so not paper thin walls.

However we might as well have mini Phil Collins in our living room. Last week I had a migraine and my husband was working from home and trying to have a con call when the mindless thrashing started up.

Why do people think it is OK to inflict their children's musical inability on everyone? Fortunately my children have never shown any inclination to play anything but I might invest in a tuba or encourage an interest in the kettle drum.

Should I complain?

OP posts:
Original poster
QueenCake · 22/01/2008 10:26

Thanks exbatt not before school and not after 7 sounds reasonable to me. Perhaps you live near motherfunk who thinks to hell with everyone so long as the passing musical whims of children are indulged. I will enter into polite negotiations with my neighbours but think that I would have considered them before buying my children a noisy instrument.

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 22/01/2008 10:27

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 22/01/2008 10:28

I don't think she thinks 'to hell withe everyone' just that children should be encouraged to have an interest.

moonstruck · 22/01/2008 10:30

musical inability? He will only get better with practice. Maybe you should explain that you can hear the noise and work out a time for him to rehearse that is acceptable to everyone

MotherFunk · 22/01/2008 10:30

Message withdrawn

MotherFunk · 22/01/2008 10:32

Message withdrawn

Ureb · 22/01/2008 10:37

Motherfunk, you have my sympathy - trying to sleep during the day is a nightmare (DH is a shiftworker).

There is nothing wrong with encouraging musical ability. It's a good skill to have.

VictorianSqualor · 22/01/2008 10:42

You know what really annoyed me this morning at about 5am??? Some woman walking up and down my road in high heels, and at about 4am many mornings I get woken up by goodness knows who going to the farm opposite us, it's not nice, but at least you can talk to a drummer playing early, I can;t very well expect the farmer to change his whole pattern to help me sleep!

Peachy · 22/01/2008 10:45

Yep, we get woken by the clients of the ASD unit opposite in the agrden yelling at 5 am but hey ho, that's life. And poor Dh is also a nightworker, with both neighbours renovating their houses (very old cotatges) so goodness knows how he copes.

MotherFunk · 22/01/2008 10:46

Message withdrawn

Aitch · 22/01/2008 10:52

i imagine they're scared to say anything, motherfunk...

yanbu about the 7am, and personally i don't think you're being unreasonable about the drums either. i do think that people should choose the instruments they give their kids with a thought for the neighbours. deffo say something about more social hours but hopefully lil phil will be bored soon.

VictorianSqualor · 22/01/2008 10:53
MotherFunk · 22/01/2008 10:54

Message withdrawn

contentiouscat · 22/01/2008 10:56

YANBU - We have a similar problem, the best way to try to solve it is to speak to the neighbours and say could junior please not play the drums before 9am and after perhaps 6.30 pm. If they are nice people they will obilge if not I would suggest investing in a trumpet - wait until he finishes then "play" it

QuintessentialShadow · 22/01/2008 10:56

I just bought my son a violin, he is 5 1/2 and he loves to practice! It does not sound nice now, but it will.... Please say it will.... But I would hate it if my neighbours complained, that would just be so rude!

Aitch · 22/01/2008 10:57

because judging by what you say they'd get an earful...

and thankyou VS

mumeeee · 22/01/2008 11:00

YANBU about playing drums at 7am.YABU about not wanting the child to drum at all.

MotherFunk · 22/01/2008 11:00

Message withdrawn

southeastastra · 22/01/2008 11:01

my nephew plays the drums, but my sister had a sound proofed building put up in the garden.

i imagine the op's parents would only put up with the noise for so long before looking into other sound proofing options.

do they have a garage or shed queencake

Tortington · 22/01/2008 11:03

i cant believe people are saying you are being unreasonable.

i have long wanted to play the drums but i wont buy any bcuase i am considerate of my neighbours - i might if i had a garage, cellar - etc that i could soundprof in some way.

my ds had an electric guitar for xmas - with headphones!

Ineedacleaner · 22/01/2008 11:03

I am actually really surprised at the amount of people who have little tolerance for their neighbours.

I live in a semi with 21 year old twins boys next door and you can always tell when their mum is away overnight. Music on loads of people next door. I have I think gone next door once to complain in 5 years and they turned the music down ASAP. They are generally considerate of the fact there are children in here and the music gets turned down early noise kept to a dull roar.

The reason I don't complain??? You have to let your neighbours live. They are not having wild parties every weekend it is every couple of months they compromise with us and don't have it blaring all night and if it does get too much they have no problem turning it down. God in a few years time it could be my 2 and next doors children will have left home and I know they will not mind at all because they have children too and have been there.

I think as far as 7am drumming goes YANBU but I think to be annoyed that they have a drum kit YABU.

I agree that children with a musical interest should be encouraged and it is not a case of to hang with the neighbours it is about reaching a compromise that suits all while still allowing the child to express themselves.

Remember in a few years time you may have to eat humble pie when it is your children.

VictorianSqualor · 22/01/2008 11:03

I'm trying to imagine DP's face if someone suggested the garage be used for anything other than housing his precious car

I take it it's not too early to have 'Shout at the Devil' blaring in my kitchen? I'm worrying now that someone will be asleep somewhere!

VictorianSqualor · 22/01/2008 11:05

Custy, get some drums! Surely if you play them at decnt hours of the day and not constantly it wouldn;t be a problem to your neighbours?

Ureb · 22/01/2008 11:05

I didn't choose the instrument my sons play - they chose them through school, not there was a lot of choice, because it's a small school.

I am thrilled that two out of three of my children want to play a musical instrument -DH and myself have no musical talent at all, so it's lovely to nurture their talents.

I would be unhappy if we upset our neighbours with their practising, but would try to come to some sort of arrangement.

Walnutshell · 22/01/2008 11:09

Oops, posted on other thread (thanks Capp):

"Fortunately my children have never shown any inclination to play anything" - I think that's rather a shame actually.

Perhaps you should find a suitable practice time that you can agree with the neighbours. It's a small country, most of us live in close proximity.