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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my neighbour?

53 replies

ChocolateCoveredKimmy · 29/08/2022 15:55

We’ve moved into a semidetached around 3 months ago and it’s needed a lot of work doing.

For maybe the last 3-4 weeks every time we start to do work my next door neighbour will play reallllly loud music.

Should we put up with it?

OP posts:
category12 · 29/08/2022 16:52

If you're asking if it's OK for you to play loud music when your neighbours are doing work on their house, yes, it is. Go ahead.

LumpyandBumps · 29/08/2022 16:59

Did this happen today?

Whilst they are only guidelines and not a specific law many councils advise that noisy building work should only take place between 8.00am and 6.00pm Monday to Friday, 8.00am to 1.00pm Saturday, and not at all on Sundays and Bank Holidays. There are exceptions for emergencies.

Whilst I can understand your desire to get the work finished as soon as possible and want to work all hours, your poor neighbour probably feels differently.

You aren’t seriously complaining that their music affects your building work, or that they shouldn’t show any signs of frustration at the loss of enjoyment of their home?

SirChenjins · 29/08/2022 17:11

This probably hasn’t gone quite as you’d hoped, has it OP?!

Walkden · 29/08/2022 17:17

Whilst they are only guidelines and not a specific law many councils advise that noisy building work should only take place between 8.00am and 6.00pm Monday to Friday, 8.00am to 1.00pm Saturday, and not at all on Sundays and Bank Holidays

Technically building ,"work" only applies to contractors etc. Lots of people won't have much choice to do work on weekends etc if they are working full time.

You can get in trouble for this noise but only if it continues for a number of weeks, as here.

Zombiemum1946 · 29/08/2022 21:06

If this is after work and at weekends then you are being unreasonable. Persistent nose such as drills, hammers etc can be pretty stressful so loud music is a way off dealing with what is like very loud tinnitus.

Original poster
ChocolateCoveredKimmy · 29/08/2022 21:31

It is during the correct hours but I believe she might work from home as her car is in the driveway most days during the week. We also have a baby so it’s pretty stressful with the music blasting, which continued after we’d stopped work and she woke the baby up.

I don’t think she would be open to conversation as she banged on the wall once at 3am as I suspect the baby crying woke her up but he’s a baby there isn’t anything I can do. She’s never come around to complain.

OP posts:
JorisBonson · 29/08/2022 21:35

My neighbours had the audacity to knock on my door at 3am this morning.

Luckily I was still up playing my drums.

category12 · 29/08/2022 21:38

Have you ever talked to her at all?

If not, I think you should go round and chat with her, introduce yourself, maybe bung her a bunch of flowers, apologise for the noise of the works, give her an approximate end date for it and try to get on side with her a bit.

Don't assume she will be unreasonable because she's banged on the wall or played loud music, if you've been working on the house for months while she's trying to WFH you may be driving her batty. Speaking with her might actually help smooth things over.

You're going to be living next door to each other for a long time, presumably, it's worth trying to get along.

TheRealKatnissEverdeen · 29/08/2022 21:50

I dropped a card with a bottle of bubbly to both neighbours when I purchased 18 months ago. I spoke to both them about renovation plans and tried to keep the noise, mess and bad vibes to a minimum. It went a long way to creating good neighbourly relationships. One set have now moved and the new owners are doing a full renovation - builder woke me up this morning with drilling. I was a bit peeved as really wanted a lie in but I know what it's like and it's all give and take.
Second pp with suggestion of speaking or dropping a card / chocolates / flowers as a peace offering.

Wisteriaroundthedoor · 29/08/2022 21:53

Can you clarify what options you’re considering to not put up with it? I think we may all find this bemusing.

look youre making noise, for many reasons, baby renovations, she doesn’t want to hear it so it so is making her own noise. As soon as you go quiet I am sure she will. If not come back and ask again.

Womencanlift · 29/08/2022 21:56

If this is a reverse then YABU doing a reverse as they are pointless

If it’s really you making all the building noise then YABU for doing it without talking to your new neighbours to discuss your work and how noisy it will be. If she is wfh then constant banging during the day then a screaming baby at night will be an absolute nightmare. Not a good start to neighbourly relations

Basilthymerosemary · 29/08/2022 22:05

ConfusedConfusedConfused
Really? You're going to moan about music when you're having renovation work done?!

Zombiemum1946 · 30/08/2022 06:57

From your update I would say your only option is to talk to her. At least give her an estimate of how much longer the work will be going on for. As for banging on the wall at 3 am when the baby was crying, I suspect that may have to do with being stressed out with building noise all day whilst trying to work, then being woken by a screaming baby at 3am. Did you notify her at all about the work prior to starting ?

BusyMum47 · 30/08/2022 08:08

Why don't you go round & have a reasonable conversation about it instead of silently seething & posting on here?!

She's clearly pissed off at all your renovation noise (trying to drown it out by music - especially if she's trying to work!) & possibly, in a moment of misplaced anger, your baby crying in the early hours.

In the interests of being good neighbours, you probably should have gone round when you 1st moved in & started the work, to let her know about it & agree how you'd try not to disrupt her too much.

Of course you have the right to work on your house but she also has the right to work from home in relative peace.

Flatandhappy · 30/08/2022 08:35

So you are annoyed that the music continued after your noise stopped because only your noise at times of your choosing is reasonable! Thank goodness you are not my neighbour.

SirChenjins · 30/08/2022 09:18

You’ve not answered any of the questions you’ve been asked OP

WeepingSomnambulist · 30/08/2022 09:22

It sounds as though you want to make as much noise as you seem necessary when you need to make it, and she should deal with it because you're semi-detached and that means noise sometimes.
But you also then want silence from her because you have a baby trying to sleep?

Is that about right? You can make noise but you want her to he quiet?

Get over yourself.

Seeline · 30/08/2022 09:25

So your neighbour works from home. You've been doing work to your house fir the last 3 months, and your baby wakes her up at night. And now you're complaining that she is playing music to try and drown out your noise .....

How is the baby napping through your building works? Or does it only wake to secondhand music?

bridgetreilly · 30/08/2022 09:27

You sound like absolute CF neighbours, OP.

Rigidity · 30/08/2022 09:30

The louder my neighbour's get the louder my music goes. I don't tolerate others noise very well, I'd rather not have to have my music blaring but if you insist on being loud enough to bother your neighbours then there's nothing else for it 🤷‍♀️.

Novum · 30/08/2022 09:32

ChocolateCoveredKimmy · 29/08/2022 21:31

It is during the correct hours but I believe she might work from home as her car is in the driveway most days during the week. We also have a baby so it’s pretty stressful with the music blasting, which continued after we’d stopped work and she woke the baby up.

I don’t think she would be open to conversation as she banged on the wall once at 3am as I suspect the baby crying woke her up but he’s a baby there isn’t anything I can do. She’s never come around to complain.

Can you move the baby into a non-adjoining room at night time?

TerrysGotPeeves · 30/08/2022 09:32

SirChenjins · 30/08/2022 09:18

You’ve not answered any of the questions you’ve been asked OP

They probably won't. There has been an abundance of threads recently where the OP describes their clearly unreasonable behaviour, ignores any replies and just continues posting random comments, then either doesn't return to their thread, flounces, or gets deleted.

I suspect that this will go the same way.

bellabasset · 30/08/2022 09:33

So you moved in, went round and introduced yourselves and your baby, explained you'd be working on your house and she told you about her situation.....................

Got off to a good start. I had neighbours who played loud music late at night but since working from home have realised their working day can be disrupted so they're more aware now.

ChateauMargaux · 30/08/2022 09:36

Drop a note round.. let her know when you will be working and how long you expect it to carry on. Apologise for the continued disruption and hope you can foster better relationships with your neighbour.

HMSSophia · 30/08/2022 09:41

JorisBonson · 29/08/2022 21:35

My neighbours had the audacity to knock on my door at 3am this morning.

Luckily I was still up playing my drums.

Hahahahaha