Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your thoughts on my 50th party

52 replies

Mountainatmygates · 29/08/2022 15:37

Well actually I don’t really want a party but I don’t really want to organise lots of small things either. I don’t fancy an evening piss up as I had mad parties for both my 30th and 40th and I don’t drink loads anymore.

so I thought an afternoon disco! Say 4-8 so friends can bring kids too. Possibly in a pub room with the pub doing pizza for everyone. A friend does discos and would do it for me. Not too late, fairly chilled, still fun but not a massive booze up! People can go home or go on after!

Naff? Or a good compromise?!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mountainatmygates · 29/08/2022 15:38

I’d do it at my house if I had room but I don’t have room to host it!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 29/08/2022 15:43

Do your friends like dancing? Will the combination of disco dancing plus children not make it feel more like a kid’s birthday party than an adults one? Is that the sort of vibe you want?

I’d probably decline tbh because it sounds a bit cringey; but obviously you know your friends and what they like.

Holidaydreamingagain · 29/08/2022 15:43

Wouldn’t be for me. It sounds like a kids party but only you know your friends and it’s it’s their thing. I wouldn’t want kids there either but again it’s your birthday so you to you

Sunnyqueen · 29/08/2022 15:44

Sounds great to me.

Funkyslippers · 29/08/2022 15:45

Would there be young kids there? Surely most of your friends' kids are at least teens?

Original poster
Mountainatmygates · 29/08/2022 15:46

@Funkyslippers a mix as my DD is 10 so still some young ones!

yea, maybe it would feel like a kids party! My friend had her 50th with kids there in the eve and they loved it- maybe I should just do eve.

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 29/08/2022 15:47

Not many of my friends would actually dance, that’s the problem for me. Why not have a ceilidh/barn dance?

erikbloodaxe · 29/08/2022 15:55

'I don't really want a party'......so don't have a party. That should be the end of it.

1AngelicFruitCake · 29/08/2022 16:08

I think it’d feel like enforced fun!

Funkyslippers · 29/08/2022 16:09

OP, I'm in the same boat. My 50th is next year and DD2 has already drawn up the party guest list! I don't have much family or close friends so the list was mainly colleagues and old friends who probably wouldn't turn up anyway! I'm not sure I want a party either

NumptiesIncorporated · 29/08/2022 16:12

I don't think it sounds like a kids party - I think it sounds like a party for the whole family. Which is great! Nobody needs to worry about babysitters or how to get home or whether it's too late for their kids to be up.

Go for it!

Cornishclio · 29/08/2022 16:15

Sounds like a party to me. Either have one or don't but no point organising something and saying it isn't a party when it clearly is.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 29/08/2022 16:18

This would be a dream for DH and I! We often bemoan that discos are held too late! Plus bringing kids is so helpful for people who'd need to find babysitters or not come otherwise. I love the idea!

Dogsgottabone · 29/08/2022 16:19

Don't have a party.

I didn't celebrate my 30 or 40th birthdays with anyone but my husband. He's the only one I generally like to hang out with.

I can't see anything changing for my 50th.

I think a 4-8 party eats too much into the weekend. If you still have young children there will be birthday parties and sports fixtures that people will have to work around.

If you really have to do something I would book a lovely lunch with DH and your best friend and their partner.

Annieisalright · 29/08/2022 16:21

Sounds more like a 5th birthday party than 50th is my only flag on this plan

stopitstopitnow · 29/08/2022 16:24

I don’t really want a party

If you don't want a party then why have one? If you feel like you have to do something just invite a few people around for drinks. FWIW I never had parties for any of my "milestone" birthdays.

Motheranddaughtertotwo · 29/08/2022 16:25

I’d find it a bit cringe to be honest but you know your friends and family and if it’s their/your cup of tea. If it is, go for it. Personally, I find a pub lunch somewhere with an outdoor area is a good in-between; kids can come too and there’s nothing to organise.

Wishyfishy · 29/08/2022 16:27

If that’s what you want - do it. If you’d prefer something else, don’t.
If it were my friend, I’d come. I don’t tend to dance anyway and other than a twirl around with my DC if they were willing, I wouldn’t, but pizza and a chat with friends is always lovely.

Is it what you want though? You have plenty of options from doing nothing, to a weekend away with your DH or with a few friends, hiring a chef and having a nice meal at home, taking everyone you love to a slap up meal, a spa day with a few girlfriends etc etc

Original poster
Mountainatmygates · 29/08/2022 16:27

@stopitstopitnow in away I am trying to ‘have a few people round for drinks’ but in a pub with music! And some food! I do want to mark my birthday but I don’t want the pressure of a party as have done that before!

OP posts:
Pawpatrolwereonaroll · 29/08/2022 16:29

I think the disco element sounds horrendous. Loud, so difficult to chat, and if no one dances an empty dance floor is really depressing. It sounds utterly awful to me but you know your friends better so maybe it would work. Or how about 3-6/7, with a bouncy castle for the children and drinks and snacks for the grown ups and they can just chat. I think the timing sounds fine

OldTinHat · 29/08/2022 16:30

I'm still clearing up from my 50th on Saturday!

Started at 1pm in my garden. About 30 people (no kids as 'children' are in their 20s now). I did an afternoon tea type thing then dusted off my karaoke machine about 4pm. Last people left about 7.30pm. It was perfect and everyone said they enjoyed it.

Not sure if that helps OP, but just another idea for you.

Pawpatrolwereonaroll · 29/08/2022 16:30

Just seen your update. Drinks in a pub sounds nice but if you’re going to time it for children you need something to keep them a bit busy

mast0650 · 29/08/2022 16:30

Not keen tbh....

I don't think most people will be disco dancing at 5pm. If you want disco dancing you need it to be dark, with disco lights, a cosy dance floor and (tbh) probably a few drinks first.

I'm also surprised that you think many kids will come, or that babysitting will be an issue. I'm 50 and kids are pretty much all secondary to Uni age. Very very few use babysitters any more. At 50th birthdays, it tends to be that just a few kids are invited (close friends) and/or are paid to help serve drinks.

If you don't want a boozy evening party, why not have a nice dinner out with a smaller group? Or afternoon tea in posh hotel? Or have a weekend away? Or whatever you do like to do.

On the other hand, you know your friends/family much better than we do!

Original poster
Mountainatmygates · 29/08/2022 16:30

@Wishyfishy i think the problem is I don’t know what I want! A few nights away with the kids in a European city, a walk & hotel stay with uni mates, a meal out with my mum friends, a weekend away with my oldest mates. Etc- I don’t think I want to organise it all to be honest. So maybe one event would cover seeing everyone!

OP posts:
TrashPandas · 29/08/2022 16:31

How many people would there be? I think you need a pretty big number for a good disco; otherwise it feels a bit sad and awkward.