To ask if you regret having only one child or more?

[CreateAusername1]

do you regret having only one child? Or having more than one if this is the case?

i have almost 2yr son. I always wanted two kids. I dont really feel family is full. On the other hand we are really struggling right now financially and cannot afford a second one. By the time we come out of financial problems I will be in late over 35 or older and partner over 40 so we dont feel we will want to start it all again.

i am just sad thinking ds might not have any siblings.

I am one and done. I love my DD (she is not far from 2YO) and sometimes feel a 'guilt' that I should provide her with a sibling, but I realise that 'feeling guilty' is NOT a reason to bring another human being into the world. Realistically I don't really want another. I want to give existing DD every opportunity and our finances mean for this we must stick at one.

All my friends who grew up as only children do say they were lonely and struggle with parents care as adults now as it's just them, no one else for practical or emotional support.

Oh, sorry! I think I was responding to the title!

There have been plenty of threads on here about the benefits/nice things about having one child/being "one and done" as people sometimes call it. I've even posted on those with the benefits. But you asked about regrets, so I wrote about that.

Try running a search for one child or looking in the one child families section? I'm sure you'll find some of those old threads and they are very reassuring.

I wouldn't judge you and in fact I can see huge advantage in this. Your dc with autism will have 2 siblings to look out for him as he grows up and gets older. Also your eldest dc won't be the only one dealing with helping dc2 when you and dh are no longer able to support them in the same way....if that is something they will need when older.

I am one of 3 and one of my siblings is disabled. It's good to be able to have another sibling who can help out.

In all honesty I wouldn't be without my children & they're all grown up now. However there's a lot of ideas on this thread that suggest that siblings get on & it's nice that they have each other etc. This is true in some cases but it's certainly not reflective of my adult children. They don't really have much contact with one another & they definitely aren't close.

Also it wasn't easy having three children, they fought a lot - they were close in ages, finances aside it wasn't plain sailing - we had one with complex needs too & I think the others struggled with finding space because the child with complex needs naturally took a lot of work & time. I know one of my children really struggled because of this.

But - I wouldn't base a decision on whether or not to have a child on finances alone, because theoretically you could be in a good financial position one year & not the next, particularly in this climate. I would be looking at whether I could cope with another child, given my individual circumstances.

I have one child who is 16 now and even though he doesn't have close cousins, or a range of family friends he has been pretty consistent about being happy without siblings (apart from when he was under 5 and would ask about it, but more as others had them). Def no regrets on my side

I have 2. I was 38 (H in 40s) when we had the second (a year old now!). I don't think it's too old. But only you can decide what's too old for you. We always thought we only wanted 1, but changed our minds when 1st was under 1y, because I got increasingly anxious about them being alone if we died (fatalistic I know). Because no cousins etc, they'd have been the only child in the extended family. Then when pregnant I felt endlessly guilty about ruining their lives, bringing in a baby and what if they didn't like sibling as they both grew up...turns out they adore each other so far, and even if they don't at times in future, they'll always have so many shared experiences they will always have someone to relate their childhood to.
There's no right answer here, it just comes down to which is the option you want the most

I had one child had left it late(38) and tried for another and lost 3 pregnancies. I was very sad. My child however is apparently fine. But I’ve never stopped feeling regretful. I’m not completely understanding the financial strain as it didn’t feel that expensive to have a child. But I would advise to go for it as a priority. Cope.

I have one child, didn’t have any desire to have more than one. She’s 16 now and we have a good life. At certain stages I would rather have had none but I’m over that now, just took many years! I’m one of four and I’m estranged from my siblings, so just because you have more than one child, the siblings may not get on, not something you can predict.

I'm currently expecting my 2nd - we've timed it so my first will start school by the time I'm back off maternity leave so only 1 set of childcare to pay for. 2 year gap would have been too close for me. I am a bit worried about affording it... Once the second starts school I imagine it will get much easier though. I'm also not taking the full year of mat leave as its too much of a pay drop when pay goes to £0.

I have 2 and don't regret it. Sometimes I think it would have been best to stick with one (second is a handful!) and other times I think 3 would have been nice but in reality I'm very happy with 2.

One and done here. Pregnancy was meh, birth was horrific, the first 6 months awful, and up to 2.5yo he didn't sleep through. The thought of doing it again - fuck that shit!

But we're very happy, have a dog, good circle of friends. DS has not once ever asked for a sibling . About 1/3 of his class are single pringles, and they're all well-adjusted 12yos now.

DSis and I fought like cat and dog up until I was about 22. We both emigrated out of the UK and now have a better relationship in our late 40s. DH is from a big family (6) and has a decent relationship with his siblings, but quite happy to have one child himself, as did one of my SILs.

I had neither the maternal desire nor the patience for more DC, or mental space, or energy, or love of baby clothes, or.... A whole list!