To go to a gig where the lead singer is rumoured to have sexually assaulted young women?

[Whatyagonnadokatie]

So, Ive been very excited to finally see one of my favourite bands live. But... there are very credible rumours on the internet that the lead singer has sexually assaulted young women.

wibu to still go?

I’ve just read an article, we’re going next week, he’s clearly a cheating bastard but the allegations are a bit wishy washy imo. I dunno. We’ll still go. I feel for his wife in all or this.

And allegations are not the same as ‘rumour’.

consensual activity outside of marriage I can kind of accept (although it’s still dodgy as fuck). I’d be pissed off if I was his wife

Whose consensual activity though? Underage children can't give genuine consent, particularly if they've been groomed. Just because he thinks they consented, that's not consent. The situation does sound grim.

I'd go as you already have the tickets, but be prepared that you probably won't be able to watch without wondering.And don't buy a tshirt as it will only end up as landfill when you're too embarrassed to wear it once the allegations are proven...

Also, bands who didn't sexually assault anyone - I'm thinking Wham, because Andrew was more interested in getting drunk and George was quietly gay. Also Depeche Mode? They all seemed to have steady long term relationships even as they struggled with various addictions.

As you have the ticket then I would go. The band already have your money from the sale of the ticket, the venue will be the ones that lose out if you stay away.

He’s going to get away with it isn’t he as the complaints (as reported) appear to be more that he’s a big ol creep rather than a violent sexual offender so it seems very unlikely to me that it will be ‘proven in court’ or what have you. That would make me NOT want to go even more tbh cos it’s so pathetic seeming (on his part) and, going by what usually seems to happen, it’ll become a part of a whole redemption narrative for him which you can already see on his statement. ‘Oooh I’ve been on a bad place blah blah blah’. Personally I’d be saying fuck that. It’s sad and embarrassing and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy that gig.

Tough decision for me as well OP. Going with a friend who has spent a lot of money coming over here to see them (they live in a European country where the band isn't touring) and who feels that at the moment the allegations are so far unproven. However it still really doesn't sit right with me and I'm not sure I can enjoy myself in the same way.

Jesus, so much for innocent until proven guilty! I'm finding this thread pretty horrific actually. I hope none of you lot ever get called for jury duty.

Unfortunately while the “justice” system continues to fail victims of male sexual violence it can’t be relied on, and women are forced to make their own judgements about accused men.

Bring me the horizon?

I'm wondering what band it is as well.

Panic at the disco?

There is an arcade fire thread up already. The Pitchfork article was thoroughly investigated - decent journalism. The claims have been reiterated in the Guardian. There is no libel here as long as you point out that the singer claims all four interactions were consensual despite the age gap and power imbalance.

Tbh I find the view that all bands are guilty of something so we might as well just accept it pretty depressing.

Surely that’s why so many celebs get away with this kind of behaviour. Maybe if more people voted with their feet and refused to buy into the culture it would make people think twice about their conduct.

I thought we were past the days of “well everyone does it so we just shrug it off…”

I'm afraid that's not good enough for me. I hate this thread.

@SharpLily that’s ok, you’re allowed to hate it. But some of us also want to discuss it.

Sometimes it's just a case of - we happen to know about this person. Could be going to any number of gigs where you don't.

i don't go to gigs so my issue is streaming. But in the end....I was on the other thread and I know I have listened to some problematic ones.

it's the legal stuff I have issues with, not cheating etc.

amp.theguardian.com/music/2022/aug/28/arcade-fire-frontman-win-butler-accused-of-sexual-misconduct

But some get found out and plenty don't ..so we don't know.

As it’s already in the guardian I’m assuming safe to share (and to take the spotlight off all the other bands)

I'd go - why not?
I don't know enough about the case to pre-judge.

@SharpLily I think even in its most sympathetic iteration ‘I cheated on my wife with random girls off Instagram’ (which is admitted to) is just so… pathetic. I don’t know if it’s likely it would be proven to be a sexual offence but it’s sleazy af. It puts me off the music because I think …. Euuugh gross. I’ve felt that way about other artists too. I am massively put off Anthony Kiedis by his relationships with much younger women - I don’t think they are illegal in any way its just really off putting.

I’d still go.

Morally repugnant - sketchy and hypocritical.
Sexting, dick picks, handsy
Hard to prove the one sexual assault allegation legally though - he said, she said.
Would I go? Maybe - out of curiosity, to see how and if he addresses it.
but it is the age old - are you cancelling the man or his music, and if the former, should you line his pockets? (albeit ticket bought already means you already have).
Can you disconnect the two?
Michael Jackson musicals?
Picasso exhibitions?
Kevin Spacey films?
Where is the line...lost prophets? Gary Glitter?E
I like Arcade Fire but the output will have a sour taste. Is this why his brother left the band?

I think we need to learn from the Jonny Depp debacle here, and not euah to judgement until it has been through a robust court case.

It is very wrong to judge someone based on an allegation in the news as the "Nick" fiasco with, Lord Britten I think it was, showed people will make up all sorts of implausible stories for who knows what reason and with JD his life was almost ruined by a lying toe rag who fabricated evidence, as was proved during a jury trial.
Any posts naming said band/person should be removed and OP if you are comfortable with going then go. You have already paid so the only person who will suffer by not going at this point is you.