Trying not to sweat the small stuff

[Givemecoffeeplease]

We made a huge roast yesterday and had friends round - about 12 of us, plus kids. Everyone arrived about 1pm. Food was fab, lovely afternoon. But then… nobody left? I went to bed about 9 (I’m a wuss) whilst DH and friends played loud rock metal outside my bedroom window. Nobody left til midnight. I couldn’t sleep at all and I’ve woken up fuming. And quite knackered.

Now the thing is, I don’t want to be mad. Staying up til midnight on a bank holiday weekend is hardly bad behaviour. Making some noise isn’t the end of the world. He’s normally considerate and lovely (plus he made some effort to clean up). Please help me put this in perspective and shake it off so we can have a nice Monday!

Let it go. Sounds like everyone had a lovely time. Post covid a lot of people are keen to socialise and embrace being able to do nice things again. You must be an excellent hostess if they don't leave.

Get someone else to host next time though.

You are the only one pissed off with events last night do you want to spend the day being annoyed because people had fun?

did you expect every to either leave or be quiet at 9pm because you had gone to bed?

do you feel fun should only be had when you are there?

the only thing you’re not mad at is the fact he tidied up!

Woken up fuming is rather extreme. They did but hung wrong imo.

Ask yourself, will this matter in 6 months? If the answer is "no", let it go

You are all right. It won’t matter in 6 days, let alone 6 months.

I know “fuming” is an overreaction. This is why I’m on here, to get some perspective! Maybe on some level I do resent them having fun without me - which is childish and unreasonable!!

You chose to go to bed. You could have stayed up if you wanted to.

just let it go and be grateful that your guests will have made memories 🙂

It's pretty rude to go to bed when you have guests at 9pm!

Sounds like everyone else had a good time and will have good memories of it. Let it go.

Er...I would be you in this situation and would also not have expected a lunch invite to go on beyond about maybe 7 or 8pm at stretch. So I would also have gone to bed at 9 and probably woken up pissed off too. Not sure what the answer is. I generally start clearing up when I want everyone to go, or start putting the kids to bed.

I'd have asked them to leave.

I think OP's point is that she didn't expect to have guests at 9pm. They were invited for lunch. If they'd been invited for dinner and drinks in the evening then I agree it would be rude for the host to go to bed at 9pm, but maybe OP thought if she headed up to bed they would take the hint and leave and it backfired on her.

yeah, I feel like they should have left at 6/7ish. I was over it by then and knew the baby would have me up early. Maybe it’s rude to go to bed at9 with guests in the house …. But maybe it’s self preservation!