Not wanting to stop BF

[glowingtwig]

Hello,

Posting here for traffic as I'm desperate for a handhold and I'm feeling so sad and upset.

It's looking increasingly likely I'm going to have to stop breastfeeding for health reasons but I have absolutely no idea how to do this. My little boy is 4 months and I have fractured my spine (pregnancy and lactation associated osteoporosis). I have 9 vertebrae fractures so I'm also in a great deal of pain.

I fed my little girl to 14 months where it gradually tapered off and came to a very natural end but with my baby, feeding is very much established and I'm very engorged if he sleeps through.

I'm really struggling emotionally with the thought of stopping as I love it so much, it's so easy and it's the only thing left I can do for him as I can't lift him, change him, do anything other than feed him.

Any advice on the practicalities of stopping and also the emotional side would be so gratefully received. I feel heartbroken, not only about my diagnosis but also the thought that I'm going to lose this special connection. I was wondering if I could just keep a few feeds a day but it seems that I risk more fractures unless I prevent further scavenging of bone.

(I have nothing against formula - my daughter had a bottle of formula at night from 4 months but I haven't needed to top up my supply this time).

Oh bless you
I’m really sorry that I can’t give you any practical advice, as I just don’t know the best thing for you. Just wanted to give you that hug/ handhold

Thank you @Flutterbybudget I can't sleep and just feel so awful and sad.

You love him and keep him safe, that's what matters. It doesn't matter how he is fed. Not breast feeding makes absolutely no difference to your bond or how loved he feels and how much he loves you. Get yourself recovered and enjoy your life with your little boy.

I agree with this - but with the addition that it's OK to feel sad about it still. In an ideal world every mum would be able to feed their baby in the way they choose. It's OK for you to be upset that your choice is being taken away.

Allow yourself to feel sad, and then move forward knowing that your children just want you to be as healthy as you can be. It's the right decision for you all.

I had to stop with my second for medical reasons, I felt so guilty but just kept telling myself that it was better to have a healthy mum and formula than an unhealthy mum, it is hard though but your bond will still be there, the way I fed made no difference to that. Be kind to yourself x

I had to stop breastfeeding my youngest very suddenly due to medication I was out in. I was devastated and felt so guilty and sad. In the end, he really didn’t seem to mind and my breasts were only uncomfortable (and strangely lumpy) for a few days to a week. I do feel that it affected our bond as he’s less dependent upon me than my other children were at that age and will happily go to sleep with his dad for example. At the end of the day your health has to take priority here though. Have you spoken to La leche league? They really supported me emotionally over the telephone.

Oh no im so sorry you’re having to stop when you don’t want to. Honestly neither I nor my family could get my breastfed DC to take a bottle at 6 months but I found a baby consultant type person who could do it. I actually found her as a sleep consultant but she worked with him for a few days, very gently, to get him to take the bottle. It was expensive but maybe an option for you if you’re desperate

Sorry you're suffering. Remember, fed is best and its so much better in the long term that you are as healthy as possible for your family. You can still talk to him and read/sing which will help his development as much as breastfeeding will.
Not sure how you feel about it, but you can get jewellery made from your breastmilk as a way of celebrating your journey.