To ask for your help with this stupid, stupid situation - inappropriate crush!

[Notsurewhattoputhereerm]

I feel utterly ridiculous and feel free to give me a kick up the backside but wondering if anyone's dealt with this and what they did to get over it?

Basically I have a crush on someone entirely inappropriate (my husband's very close friend). This guy is always around as he and my husband are almost like brothers, his child comes over to play with our two a lot, we holiday together, we see them most weekends. Ugh.

I feel like a silly teenager. I'd never in a million years act on these feelings. I love my husband, we have solid foundations of marriage and children and a loving relationship spanning many years. But I can't help but fantasize about meeting this man first. We don't flirt. Ever. We've never ever crossed a line, I'm 100% certain on that but we do have great conversation, good laughs and I feel totally at ease when I'm talking to him.

I've looked up limerence as I've seen it mentioned on a few threads before and I guess this is what it is. Especially the being unable to see their flaws. He just seems like THE perfect partner. Which is entirely illogical because I've no idea what he's like as a partner.

Anyway... What do I do?! Our lives are so entangled it doesn't seem possible to just never see him. Will this crush just stop?

Hi op. I am sure the feelings will lessen. No harm done. I think most of us have crushes that are not always appropriate. It's how you deal with it that matters.

Yeah it will stop, he'll get annoying at some point

I think not until.you stop seeing him

Thanks! I just don't know how this would work when he's so close to our family. I guess I can make some excuses to avoid various things but I can't just never see him again.

I feel all giddy and teenage girl like when I see him, it's really, really ridiculous.

Focus on the noises he makes when he's eating.

This is when we must realise that love is not all about feelings and crushes but commitments and responsibilities. However, there are some people who come into our life who we really like and fancy and there is nothing wrong with that unless we act on those feelings. Realise the dangers and hold back from getting involved with him - eg don’t be alone with him, don’t hug or hold, etc. There are some guys we can be friends with and no danger. But others who are (quite innocently) dangerous for us. So keep your feelings in check.

It'll pass. You'll soon start getting some icks and never want to see him again.