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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I an addict?

29 replies

Yakidah · 28/08/2022 20:07

I suffer from OCD and I am literally terrified of being an addict. It all started when about 10
years ago when I ‘liked’ the feeling I had when I took some codeine, I felt relaxed etc and struggled to stop taking it, but I did. I also worry about drinking so I stop myself from having a drink because I’m terrified of becoming an alcoholic. Do these things creep
on you or does an addict not know they are an addict? Sorry if I am not making sense 😭

OP posts:
Original poster
Yakidah · 28/08/2022 20:09

I am worried I have an addictive personality and how you deal with it?

OP posts:
justforthisnow · 28/08/2022 20:10

Are you actually taking any of those substances now, to excess? If you are not, then no, you're not an addict. If you think you may be predisposed to addictive behaviours, then I suppose you have identified that and can plan your exposure accordingly.

Original poster
Yakidah · 28/08/2022 20:11

Nope, I don’t take anything, I am literally terrified. Even when I do have a drink I only have 1 or 2? Is this just anxiety?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/08/2022 20:12

Sounds like you are frightened about the risk of becoming addicted. And that this fear stems from your anxiety. What treatment are you having for that?

Zoeslatesttrope · 28/08/2022 20:12

These sound to me like intrusive thoughts or fears to do with your OCD, like when someone fears they would hurt a child but really never would?
I may be wrong. But either way, you are able not to compulsively do these things so to me it sounds as though you don't have an "addictive personality". But that you ruminate on it a lot.

MessyBunPersonified · 28/08/2022 20:13

This resonates with me.

My whole family are addicts of one kind or another and I'm terrified of it.

I've had to go onto some really heavy, long term pain meds, but every couple of weeks (while my little ones are at their dads) I don't take them for 2 days, which puts my mind at ease about whether I'm addicted or not.

I don't have any useful advice at all (sorry) but you're not alone in feeling this way.

TooMinty · 28/08/2022 20:17

I think this is your OCD talking, OP. There's no harm in staying away from alcohol etc. but if you start worrying or stressing out about avoiding things then maybe you should talk to your GP about how to manage these thoughts x

Thepeopleversuswork · 28/08/2022 20:22

It sounds as if your fear of becoming an addict is preventing you becoming an addict. So no you’re not an addict. But your anxiety and OCD sounds like a problem.

Theres nothing wrong with moderating your intake of a substance in order not to become addicted btw but it sounds quite obsessive.

BertieBotts · 28/08/2022 20:24

I think addiction is when you want to do something regularly, isn't it? So I would look at guidelines for how much you're meant to do something to stay within reasonable/safe limits and stick to those if you are worried about addiction. For example the NHS says don't drink more than 14 units a week. If you're having 1-2 drinks every now and again that doesn't sound like it's a risk of turning into an addiction.

It's normal and OK to enjoy the feeling of mind-altering substances, that is why people take them for fun. Enjoying something is not the same as being addicted.

anotherpotoftea · 28/08/2022 20:29

Have a look into Pure O OCD. This sounds a lot like that.

Original poster
Yakidah · 28/08/2022 20:31

does anybody know of any addicts? I have this image in my head that you end up selling everything you have etc. I was at my aunts house the other day and she said the person she least thought to become and alcoholic did, and she died from it, my heart sunk.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/08/2022 20:34

I’m sure people here do know addicts but that doesn’t mean they can give advice on your situation.

You aren’t addicted to anything at the moment are you? You’re just very anxious and have intrusive thoughts. What are you doing to deal with them?

TenRedThings · 28/08/2022 20:56

It sounds like your fear of addiction will protect you from becoming an addict. However it sounds like you are living with anxiety and perhaps might benefit from some CBT therapy to overcome this.

TooMinty · 28/08/2022 21:59

I know/knew some alcoholics yes. But I don't think talking to you about them will help x

This is all your OCD intruding, please speak to your GP and get some help Flowers

Eyesopenwideawake · 28/08/2022 22:03

Have a look at this video about addiction, it's a completely different view;

bert3400 · 28/08/2022 22:08

When I was younger I really thought I had an addictive personality, I went 100 mph into every substance, alchol or any dangerous activity I came across ....but as I got older I learnt I didn't have an addictive personality, I just wanted to try everything....and I did. But I'm now in my 50s and have lived a very full life but I'm not addicted to anything....well maybe running and chocolate ...you need to trust your judgement, somethings you may try and love but they may not be healthy or good for you, but you can leave them and move on to something else that gives you the same buzz that the 'bad' stuff used to give you.

bottleofbeer · 28/08/2022 22:09

No, you're not an addict. You're just terrified to the point of it being detrimental to your life.

Speak to your GP.

cadburydarkmilk · 28/08/2022 22:17

I have OCD and also addictive traits. I didn't but wish I knew I had them before taking codeine and enjoying the buzz

I then turned into an addict of many things ... I
only sorted my life out when I fell preg in Sept 2020.
I think you'll be okay because your anxiety is stopping you. For the first time anxiety is maybe a good thing?

Original poster
Yakidah · 29/08/2022 06:26

how does it get to the point where literally nothing matters but the drug? That woman had 2 kids and a husband etc? It terrifies me

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 29/08/2022 14:41

And for that terror you need psych help.

Thingsdogetbetter · 29/08/2022 15:08

I knew rather too many people who went from recreation drug use to serious drug addictions. Every single one of them insisted that they had it under control and weren't addicts and never would be addicts. All convinced that it was just for fun and they'd be able to stop anytime they wanted. Not one of them were concerned about having addictive personalities - quite the opposite in fact. Very few even acknowledged their addiction when they hit rock bottom.

cadburydarkmilk · 29/08/2022 15:20

Now I don't have a substance abuse problem I am a different person entirely. I'm nothing like the person I thought at all

Being sober now it is so clear to see how my addictive personality played a huge part with my addiction. I with I knew I had an addictive personality before it went as far as it did

I can't answer your last message as mine started recreationally then got worse
I tried loads of times to stop and just couldn't manage it and I didn't have the willpower to. It was so hard to overcome but when I found out I'd conceived ds that changed my whole life and I stopped everything immediately. I haven't looked back. I had more love for my baby than the life I was living so whilst it was difficult to he was my reason

Julia37 · 29/08/2022 15:23

I am an addict, nearly 8 years clean and sober.

There is a saying in recovery - ‘the first(drink etc) one does the damage’. So if you are worried about becoming addicted to something, just don’t do it.

However it sounds like you may be worrying excessively about this especially as you do not drink or take a substance regularly. I have previously struggled with OCD, anxiety and thoughts that are similar to yours, my GP was a great help and my OCD is now under control. It may help you to speak to your GP about how you are feeling.

Original poster
Yakidah · 29/08/2022 15:26

May I ask what it was you was addicted to and how you overcame it? Did it creep up on you?

I don’t want to love my life avoiding everything as I do enjoy a drink, it just terrifies me how people let it take over their life and cannot love without it?

maybe I am not making any sense I dunno, but thank you for all your help.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 29/08/2022 15:32

Explore some treatment for anxiety / OCD OP, you shouldn’t be tortured like this. It’s really important to attack it because anxiety does tend to get worse if you don’t get it treated. CBT is the standard first treatment. Talk to your GP, or it will be quicker if you pay.

It sounds like this is an irrational fear in your case (I don’t mean you are being silly, just that it is not evidence based.). There’s no harm in keeping an eye on your alcohol intake though, it’s easy to get into the habit of drinking too much.

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