To feel unhappy despite recognising I have a good life

[jumpingbean1810]

I'm a single parent of one, never married. Aside from a few 6mth relationships I've had nothing long term in 10yrs. I have a high income and work comes with its stress but enables us to have a decent house, holidays etc. I'm on holiday abroad at the moment with my teenager who is lovely but I don't feel any joy. I'm not in the moment, just going through the motions. I'm tired, anxious about what's going on the world, and struggling to summon the energy to make the most of our time together. How do people with a positive mindset shrug off the mundane to really enjoy life? I'm turning 50 and feel like I'm a miserable bugger who can't be much fun to be around. I miss my carefree 20s. Is it normal to feel like this? Is it just part of getting old, menopause and the general burden of responsibility? I eat healthily, exercise and am not depressed, more discontented despite knowing i'm in a far more fortunate position to many others and should appreciate what i have. Any tips to snap out of it?

I would start with a daily gratitude list and be thankful for what you have, this transformed my life in the pandemic where I went from stressed and panicked to calm and carefree. It took about three weeks

I would say it could be related to menopause. Lack of joy/motivation is a symptom, as opposed to actual depression. I feel much more relaxed and peaceful since going on HRT.

Are you bored? Can you shake your routine up a bit? Maybe try something new?

I’m your age and I’m wondering what it’s all for, not in a depressed way, just in a why should I cook/clean/work way. What’s the point, where’s the joy 🤔

Do you need a good partner? If so, put yourself out there!

Definitely consider HRT. The imbalance of hormones during peri menopause and menopause can definitely cause the symptoms you describe. (I’m not medical, just my experience of myself, family members and friends).

Thanks, I'll definitely speak to doctor about perimenopause. I've pretty much given up on men as the only way to meet people these days seems to be online which is so dispiriting. I've never been v good at relationships so starting to accept it being me and the dog when DC leaves home, which I know I'll struggle with. I could try a hobby, although v time poor, so need to figure out what!

It sounds to me like you're in a bit of a rut or just a bit bored.
Why are you time poor? Is there anything you can do about that? Are there any things which you've never done or used to do which you'd like to do? Can you free up time? Do you have a good network of friends or do you not even have time for that?

Im time poor as I work c. 50hrs a week, then evenings cooking, tidying up, time with daughter. Weekends catching up on house, friends etc. As single parent no one to share domestic tasks with so time spent on house maintenance, bills, school admin, shopping etc. I have a cleaner but rest needs to be done by me really. Alot of my older friends now live farther away although do see local friends every few weeks but all are married and understandably they need to prioritise their own families. I'd like to do a dance class or something sociable but feel guilty leaving DD in evenings.

OP something I am trying to figure out too and I think it’s something to do with not feeding your creative side. The dance class could do the trick.

Ive always been a bit like oh why would anyone bother doing that? Like an art class for the first time and often been quite dismissive. But now I’m thinking why not? I sent my DH details of a local choir because I know he loves singing. Anyway perhaps finding something creative might help?

Have you looked into the concept of "ikigai"? This is a Western interpretation of it but I find it really useful in identifying why I'm restless/unhappy.