Having trouble leaving the house emotionally

[stuckstuckst]

I've been trying to go out for a few days but I just feel stuck. I've got myself and kids ready and not been able to get out. I don't know why.
if partner comes I can go but I keep going to lie down in bed I'm just very exhausted despite not doing anything.

I've been trying to go out all day and it's half five and I just can't do it I don't know why but I'm sat on the kitchen table crying My eyes out because I can't do it.

I don't want to walk past my neighbours houses or for them to know I'm out. I don't know why. they haven't done anything but I'm feeling (physically not mentally as it doesn't make sense) threatened by people.

I keep getting a horrible "voice" of someone laughing at me like a bully at school and its just knocking me for six.

My kids have had a horrible summer holiday because I'm not able to go out without their dad and even my sister seems to be in a mood with me because I haven't seen her. I want to. but I can't. do. it.

I was put in a mental hospital against my will a few years ago and the feelings right now are what I felt 6 months before then.

Very physical reactions. in my body. adrenaline. heart pumping. exhausted. on edge.
just need to vent on here as my partner just asked me why I'm moping about and I don't want to tell him I fell funny again as its such a stress and we are just getting back on our feet again from last time.

also I've been in contact with mental health services BUT they want me to come for a face to face meeting. I asked for a phone call, they said yes and phoned me saying they don't do phone calls and I have to come. But I can't even go to the shop at the minute so 2 busses and a long walk to go to the people who put me away just isn't possible.

I'm very surprised they wouldn't just come out to you?

only If you try to kill yourself
are unsuccessful
and someone takes you to a and e

Oh love! Sorry to hear you’re struggling

but you beat this before,
you can beat it again. The sooner you start, the sooner you’ll beat it.

don’t allow this fear to isolate you, please talk to your dp, your doctor or even the Samaritans in the meantime to help you through the next few days.

I’ve had agoraphobia and even mildly it’s excruciating.

And I wouldn’t want to go to the people who put me away either, so this is a perfectly normal reaction to an awful situation in the past. But you do need someone to help you get past this. Talk to dp and see if he can help? Could your gp help?

No mine have come to me at home for loads of reasons.
Including when I was dealing with agrophobia.. Its got to be worth asking?

You have agoraphobia. My daughter has this too but it's got easier since she started Sertraline a year last May. Now she can go to restaurants and she's at a festival this weekend. She's not there yet but getting there. There's an audio book - Dare. Worth listening to.

I had a period of this in my early 20's & it is incredibly limiting.
I think you have to spell out to the MH professionals that you cannot actually leave the house to attend. I appreciate that they will only attend for those attempting to end their lives but it would be much better to 'catch' folk before it gets to that stage which I hope they will see.
Are you able to think to yourself what your fear is if you did go out?
Is it an overwhelm of too bright / too loud / too busy type thing or is it a fear of something specific happening? Are you hearing the 'bullying voice' each time you try? Do you hear it at other times too? Are you able to override it at all?

I don't have a magic wand I am sorry but I would like to give you a hug x

Would your partner be able to take time off to support you to the appointment?

I'm not an authority on this. Would it be possible to nip out for fresh air for literally five minutes then head back, to break the spell? May be easier said than done.

You need to make a face to face appointment and your DH can drive you to it and home again.

Do not delay. You are ill and need to be seen.

DH can arrange for someone to look after the children.

You sound very ill, OP, and in desperate need of medical help and support. Well done for reaching out on here and it doesn't sound like it's really about going out at all, so getting out of the door wouldn't really solve the MH spiral you're in, and having your DP going with you is really barely a band-aid, not going to solve the bigger issue. Are you on medication? Can you call your GP and talk about how you're feeling and get some adjustments made before you reach a crisis?