AIBU to be upset by this (birthday related)

[sainzgirly]

I need advice on if I’m being a bit precious or not here, as DH is planning on bringing this up and I’m not sure if it’s a bit silly to.

DH has 3 siblings. My SIL & her husband always buy me a card and present. My younger BIL and his partner always used to, but they split up this year and I’ve had nothing from BIL. No card or anything, and he also forgot to send my DH a card for his birthday this year. It just irritates me as it’s clear he sees family admin a woman’s job and now he’s split up from his gf he’s not bothering (although she did still send a card!). Older BIL has never sent a card or anything which I’ve always excused as he’s just not that type (although he does for his siblings birthdays), but this year was his 30th and we spent big money on him, so it feels a bit sad he couldn’t even be bothered to send a card.

DH is really upset and wants to say something. I don’t know if it’s worth it. I’m not upset about presents but I do feel a bit sad neither have bothered to send a card. There’s no family backstory - we’re all close and get on well.

I don't like getting card I've nowhere to put them, they cost money and resources to be recycled.

They might be relieved when you stop sending cards!

Get a grip

It sounds like former SIL used to organise the birthday stuff and make him sign the card. If he's not into birthdays, just let it drop. Don't send him anything either.

My brother has never sent me anything for my birthday or Christmas. I usually just send him an email for both, which he may or may not acknowledge.

I'm confused though. Older brother sends a card to his sister and other brother but not to your husband? Why is that? There must be a reason.

Some people send cards, some don’t. They obviously aren’t bothered about birthdays so don’t send them one either.

My brother rarely sends me a card but he does usually manage a text. I don’t mind.

Just leave it to DH and suggest to DH he makes the same bare assed effort they do and just match what they do.

OP I think you've been given really harsh replies here. I understand completely where you're coming from on this. Disparity in presents can feel really depressing.

Believe me, I've been trying to put a stop to it for years.

Who sends cards these days, what a pain and faff. Sorry but this is a minor and petty thing.