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AIBU?

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Original poster

FB photos

21 replies

Jennisted · 28/08/2022 11:28

When my partner and I first got together he had a FB album of his past wedding titled 'X and X's wedding'.
When we were talking about getting engaged I asked him to change the title to 'wedding photos' or similar as I have the same name as his ex and it would look like he'd be gearing up to have a 'Xv2 and X wedding' album.
I also asked him to consider deleting the more intimate photos of the bride and groom and keep the family, kids etc there which he agreed to as he said looking at the intimate ones now made him feel uncomfortable.

One of the intimate photos popped up on his FB memories as he had changed his profile pic to it the day after the wedding. He tried to hide his phone from me and when he knew I saw it, he called it cringy but no effort to delete.
There's several past profile pics of him and his ex, none of us.

Am I just being petty?

OP posts:
Revolvingwhore · 28/08/2022 11:32

Your past follows you around, particularly on social media. You might need to just get used to this.

Original poster
Jennisted · 28/08/2022 11:35

Revolvingwhore · 28/08/2022 11:32

Your past follows you around, particularly on social media. You might need to just get used to this.

That's true.

I have also been married and removed all pics of the bride and groom from my FB, including profile pics.
Personally I think it's tacky having photos of ex's and past weddings when with someone else. But that's my opinion.

OP posts:
Badgirlriri · 28/08/2022 11:43

I think it’s a shame to completely delete your past. i certainly wouldn’t do it if someone insisted on it.

chillipenguin · 28/08/2022 11:47

How long have you been with him? I'd expect a couple of photos of you and him on there if you'd been together 6 months or so and had the exclusive chat, to show you off! But the wedding photos wouldn't bother me. No one goes trawling.

CoffeeLover90 · 28/08/2022 11:48

Has he deleted them from the album and forgot to delete from his profile pictures? I deleted photos of my ex from my Facebook but only recently found that some were saved separately in my profile pictures album. I very rarely change my profile picture so didn't know it did this.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 28/08/2022 11:53

Did you ask him to delete the profile pictures too? He may not have known they were still there. If you aren't worried about lingering feelings i think i would let this go. It's part of his history and it should be up to him what he does with that. He has already agreed to your other requests.

Original poster
Jennisted · 28/08/2022 12:05

chillipenguin · 28/08/2022 11:47

How long have you been with him? I'd expect a couple of photos of you and him on there if you'd been together 6 months or so and had the exclusive chat, to show you off! But the wedding photos wouldn't bother me. No one goes trawling.

There is some of us on his profile (which I had to request) just none as a profile pic.
We've been together for 2.5 years, engaged and have a baby together.
Baby has also not been a profile pic although his other kids have.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jennisted · 28/08/2022 12:10

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 28/08/2022 11:53

Did you ask him to delete the profile pictures too? He may not have known they were still there. If you aren't worried about lingering feelings i think i would let this go. It's part of his history and it should be up to him what he does with that. He has already agreed to your other requests.

He said there were some he couldn't delete as he was tagged in them which is fine but this profile pic popped up on his memories so he was very aware of this one.

It's more so the ex tbh when mentioning me to her the other week she said 'well I got there first' which is bizarre. It feels like a bit of solidarity would be nice.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 28/08/2022 12:15

Why do you expect him to erase his history? It's part of what has Made him who he is.

Hellocatshome · 28/08/2022 12:17

Yes you are being petty.

toomuchlaundry · 28/08/2022 12:19

I’m assuming she is mum to his DC too

WhenDovesFly · 28/08/2022 12:21

Well he did what you asked with the album but forgot the profile pics. I guess I'd be a bit irked to see it pop up as a memory, but wouldn't dwell on it. Id be sad he'd not put his new baby as his profile pic, if he's done it before with his previous family. Does he have a temperamental ex who he's trying not to upset or something?

Original poster
Jennisted · 28/08/2022 12:21

Toddlerteaplease · 28/08/2022 12:15

Why do you expect him to erase his history? It's part of what has Made him who he is.

Not at all, just the intimate photos from his wedding.

He's said that seeing any wedding pics of me has him feeling uncomfortable, so I've deleted everything. I'm only asking him to remove a certain type.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jennisted · 28/08/2022 12:23

toomuchlaundry · 28/08/2022 12:19

I’m assuming she is mum to his DC too

Yes, same as I am.

OP posts:
LindaEllen · 28/08/2022 12:24

Badgirlriri · 28/08/2022 11:43

I think it’s a shame to completely delete your past. i certainly wouldn’t do it if someone insisted on it.

Yeah, this.

I'm really not keen on my ex (and have in fact blocked his name from coming up on memories, perhaps your DP would agree to do this?) but I am not going to delete anything, because that's my past, and I hope that at some point in the future I'll be able to look back and appreciate the good times.

While we were together, we went to great parties, had great days out and holidays - I'm not deleting my memories of those.

chillipenguin · 28/08/2022 12:24

Jennisted · 28/08/2022 12:05

There is some of us on his profile (which I had to request) just none as a profile pic.
We've been together for 2.5 years, engaged and have a baby together.
Baby has also not been a profile pic although his other kids have.

Show quote history

This would annoy me if I'm honest. If he still uses Facebook and you've agreed for your baby to be on social media.

Flutterbybudget · 28/08/2022 12:25

Try and see it from the point of view that you don’t care who is in his past, you’re his future and that’s what really matters.
Don’t be tempted to compare yourself to her, because you are NOT her, never will be, and never should try to be. You’re you, celebrate it.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 28/08/2022 12:27

Maybe he was more bothered about posting pics in the past.
I post a lot less often than I used to
Times change

burnoutbabe · 28/08/2022 12:27

You only can see your own memories on Facebook? Not other peoples i thought.
So how did you see his?

I did ask my boyfriend to block me from the albums of him and his ex on holiday with his parents so they can see it and I can't - it used to get highlighted to me under any older algorithm fb had.

DiddlyDoris · 28/08/2022 12:27

Completely see where you're coming from!

I deleted all trace of my ex, including on personal laptop etc.

That you had to ask him to
put any pics of you and him, I'd be upset too, he should want to show you off!
And again, I see where you're coming from re your child, he's done that for his other DC, again I'd be expecting him to want to show your joint DC.

If he was putting pics of you on without prompting that's fine, but you had to ask.
I wonder is that more the issue than that he has he ex still showing on there?

Original poster
Jennisted · 28/08/2022 12:59

burnoutbabe · 28/08/2022 12:27

You only can see your own memories on Facebook? Not other peoples i thought.
So how did you see his?

I did ask my boyfriend to block me from the albums of him and his ex on holiday with his parents so they can see it and I can't - it used to get highlighted to me under any older algorithm fb had.

I say next to him as he was scrolling through.

OP posts:
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