Am I? Independent impartial advice needed

[Sunflowersinthewind]

So, this is a bit long but. I have been feeling unwell for the past year, random collection of symptoms. GP doesn't know what is wrong.

Anyway my BF had this idea that I used toneat a very specific type of food quite a bit and I haven't eaten it so much in the last year so maybe I could have a deficiency of iodine.

GP has tested my blood numerous times and nothing has ever flagged but I could kind of see whether my BF was coming from so I said yeah why not? I will buy that food again and there is nothing to lose.

That was a couple of days ago. I spoke to him tonight and I mentioned I was feeling tired (one of my symptoms) and he asked if I had bought the food. I havent as only no shops near me sell it and I will wait til I need an online food shop and get it then. He said "don't you want to feel better?". I got irritated by that, I mean I feel it is a really stupid thing to say. He explained it as this one food could make me feel better and as I haven't bought it or bought an iodine supplement, I am not trying hard enough to feel well.

We ended the call both grumpy and I am still angry tbh. AIBU?

What's the food?

I knew I would get asked what the food is! It's such a random, outing food haha

Food really is not outing unless you mean ateak with strawberry jam and mustard sauce...
Millions eat foods which are high in iodine...

Is this a pattern? I always find it frustrating when people say they're fed up of X and they're going to do Y to improve it but somehow they never get round to doing Y and yet can't stop complaining about X ...

If not, maybe he's keen to see you feeling better. Or maybe he's showing some controlling tendencies.

Personally, I wouldn't be overly upset by this.

Good luck, hope you're feeling better soon

Seaweed?

I can see his point if he thinks you aren't trying to change your habits to see what works?

Have you made lifestyle changes?

Also, the food could have had other effects than just having iodine. Lots of food is very beneficial to digestive and messed up digestive system can cause plethora pf issuea.
So hard to say without the food.

He is bit unreasonable but also not fully unreasonable. If there is something to try to get better people do rightfully get annoyed when the person isn't trying it. Even if it may sound silly like certain food.

My digestion and energy levels are so much better since I eat fermented food. My colds disappeared

It's cockles. In fairness, I did used to eat quite a bit.

I think I am annoyed not because I disagreed with his suggestion, but because he is hinting that because I haven't immediately acted upon the suggestion, I must enjoy being unwell. I do try really really hard not to whinge about feeling unwell.

I have tried lots with my diet to see if it alleviates my symptoms. No gluten, no dairy, eating much healthier etc. Nothing has made a huge difference

Cockles even pockled have more stuff than just iodine. If you eat lots, then dropped them the body might be missing something. It should probably show on blood tests, but it may be something that's showing just about in normal?

Sounds hippy, but I would try it. He shouldn't push, but I guess it just came up as you mentioned the tiredness

I am definitely going to try, but shops near me don't sell them and I don't want to do an online shop for just cockles, I'll get an online shop some point next week. I think I was annoyed by the comment

Considering the sort of nutrients in cockles, he might have a point, especially when you've been cutting out other food groups -

They're incredibly high in B12, Iodine, Iron & Selenium and also provide a significant amount of copper, magnesium and protein. And you obviously like the things.

They aren't in supermarkets as often at the moment, but there are vacuum packed mussels in all my local supermarkets, along with prawns. Mussels aren't as high in magnesium, which is associated with muscular strength, and Iodine would need to come from something like Kale, but they're still very nutritious.

Ooh I am surprised at the lack of availability now. I always see them in asda. Agree on mussels.

swansea market (admittedly not necessarily convenient!)

Nowhere near here does them, morrisons online does and I will get some as tbh I do love them. I grew up on them so I completely get he has a point about my body going into some kind of cockle deficiency shock. I take really good multi-vitamins and eat a lot of veg, fish etc but I have no aversion to eating more cockles at all.

I do have less desire to look like a complete weirdo to the morrisons delivery person when they drop off the £40 minimum delivery filled with just cockles though.

You could always pad the cockle delivery out with GF pasta and tins of tomatoes so you don't gain the reputation of being The Cockle Lady? 'Stocking up so we aren't caught by shortages or price rises for a bit' is my logic when I need to get the weird and wonderfuls that aren't on sale round here.

DP still frowns when he sees some of the things that do turn up, especially when the delivery doesn't actually contain things that would make entire meals (Why would I bother ordering those? They sell beans round the corner) but he's learned to not question too hard...

I really want it to be cockles in a way, not only because I would feel better but also because it would be hilarious (to me). Dont worry about that arrythmia clinic appointment, I just needed cockles.

That's a good idea about buying other non-perishable stuff to look more normal.

I will probably do an online shop in about 5/6 days though, so I was annoyed that he took waiting that long as indication that I just didn't want to feel better

You are so going to laugh but they are good for heart apparently 😂

I understand why his specific comment could have set you off. It does feel possibly a bit manipulative, like those pop-up ads that give you the choice of clicking through immediately to their incredible money-saving deal/website or checking the box that says "No thanks, I like wasting my money!" 🙄 Of course, there are other considerations, and after a year of feeling bad one more week probably doesn't seem like that much.

But if he's not normally condescending or pushy, he's probably just concerned about you and hoping this works. I'd just tell him why you're waiting and if he nags after that stronger pushback may be needed.

I did explain why I was waiting, first of all when he suggested it, I said I would put some in the next shop and then again tonight.

He is a bit naggy about health (ironically before I stopped eating cockles, he used to tell me they were bad for me owing to the metal content) and is really into supplements etc.

But I see the voting is swaying into me being unreasonable so I will stop huffing at him

Why don’t you just take iodine supplements?

I could yes, but iodine is a guess isn't it and if its cockles then they obviously contain more than just iodine which means they would be more beneficial?

It is actually pretty draining living with someone with ongoing and non specific health problems (obviously worse actually having the health issues but you get my point) so he just sounds frustrated that having brain stormed a suggestion you haven’t acted on it- even if it’s unreasonable for you to have done so immediately. If he’s otherwise a good person I would cut him some slack. Both of you must be fed up you are unwell without answers for so long.

did you have covid at all? Long covid is very real.

We don't live together. I did have Covid about 6 months ago but I was unwell before that. I think maybe covid exacerbated some of it though