To bail on the show this eve

[rainyskylight]

Hi,

A week ago a friend asked me if I was free this Saturday (today) to go to a theatre show is has a spare ticket to. £20. I checked with DH and yes, I’m able to go. I confirmed with my friend and said “maybe we can get casual dinner someplace before”, he said “yes for sure”.

Roll on to today. At 1pm I text him to ask if there’s a plan and what time to meet, no reply. We get on with our day. DH goes to the football because I don’t have anything solid.

I call my friend twice at 2:30 - normal and WhatsApp, no response.

At 3:45pm I text him to say I’m going into the swimming pool and won’t be on my phone for 30mins.

Come out of the pool, get DD (under 2yrs) and I changed. I’ve got several messages from my friend saying “let’s meet at 6:15, booked a table at X”. By the time I’ve read it, it’s 4:30pm. To get to that restaurant normally it would take 45 mins from home, but I’m still at the swimming pool, DH is at the football, and it turns out there’s a train strike (was not aware of this as I’ve been on annual leave this week).

So it will take me 80mins to get there on public transport, I’d have to skip the dinner, and DH has to leave the football early and get an Uber home.

I realise we could have planned out afternoon better but I didn’t have any word from my friend regarding plans and wanted to get on with my day.

Even if the train strike hadn’t been on, I’d been home and DH also (to look after DD) by the time he had responded to me I would have had only 45mins to get out the door, which is kind of shitty short notice.

YABU - you confirmed the plans a week ago and it’s your own fault for not staying close to home so get cracking on the rail replacement bus service into town asap.

YANBU - that’s rude of your friend, you’re doing him a favour by taking the ticket and he messed you around, have a nice evening at home with DH and DD.

Sorry - to be clear - my friend finally texted back at 4:30pm saying can we meet at 6:15pm, having had no word from him since I said I could take the spare ticket.

You should (both) have made a firm plan sooner.

It's irritating to have such short notice but really poor form to cancel - you already said you were going so DH shouldn't have gone to the football.

Sounds like dinner might not now be a runner tho.

Why on earth didn't you make the plans sooner tho, knowing you'd need to sort family stuff / arrange with DH?

Friend sounds v casual but I'm assuming had less / no family commitments?

If it was only a week ago I've have made arrangements then and there. You knew dinner was on the cards so surely you would have worked out what time you needed to be free from and the rest is just fine tuning?

Yeah… I kind of left it up to him because I was doing him a favour taking the ticket. I’ve been away this week so kind of not hot with scheduling. It feels like it’s shitty of me to cancel but it’s also shitty of him to text 3 hours before the show starts with a plan.

we live in London so it take 45mins to get anywhere at the best of times.

Don't do the dinner and just go to the theatre it would be shitty to cancel now.

You should have had firm plans in place earlier though especially as you going was dependent on DH being home to look after children. I would say fault on both parts but no need to throw your toys out the pram and not go at all.

How have you done him a favour? If you didn't take the ticket he could have gone with someone else or sold it.

You go to the show, because that's what was arranged and it's rubbish to let someone down at such late notice, but yes no to dinner.

@Hellocatshome he would have bought the tickets ages ago. It’s a west end sort of thing. He said someone had pulled out. I was very much not first choice and he conveyed in the message that he thought it was a long shot and he’s already asked a load of people.

Guess I’m going to the theatre. It’s just a shame as it’s the dinner that I would have enjoyed most as I haven’t seen him in months. Oh well! Lesson learnt.

such a shame as I’d been looking at different places to go for dinner and then this afternoon because he was completely not taking calls I thought he’d pulled out. He has form for being flakey.

This reads as you no longer want to go and are trying to find an excuse.

You should at least go to the show, especially if it would upset your friend to be there alone.

If you’d been looking at places to go for dinner, why didn’t you message him before today to say ‘X looks good for dinner - shall we meet there at 6.15?’

I was doing him a favour taking the ticket

Big of you.

YABVU. DH shouldn’t have gone to the football, you shouldn’t have gone swimming.

You had plans, you didn’t leave yourself enough time.

You are presumably not going to dinner miles from the theatre so I am sure you could have calculated what time you would have to be home in order to get out for dinner and theatre. Just go.

Don’t worry, I’m going.

@Isgooglebroken no need for that

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross I did, when I asked what the plan was. I suggested two places.