Handhold please absolutely shit day

[ratbag44]

With it being the end of the school holidays (nearly) I in my wisdom decided that we'd have a 'fun day out' today to a city about 1.5 hours away from home. Loads of cool places for older dc to enjoy. Had hoped our 7 month old baby would sleep in the buggy.

Absolutely ridiculous idea. The place was packed. All the attractions had queues a mile long and we had no chance of getting in anywhere. It took forever to park the car. The streets were so so busy. Baby screamed the whole time which upset older dc (already pissed off because we couldn't get in any of the attractions). I had a horrific IBS flare up because I was so stressed. Dh and I bickered at each other the whole time. It was just awful. We did manage a picnic in a park but other than that it was utter shit to the point where I actually cried in the middle of the city centre in front of dc.

We are now heading home 2 hours earlier than planned and I feel like a complete dick for not realising how busy it would be and being so unprepared. Having our baby has changed our life so much and we can't do a lot of the things we enjoyed before. My older dc are 8 and 10 so they aren't used to this. We haven't done much over the holidays and to me this day was meant to be a big treat but it's ended up being traumatic for everyone.

Uggghh this sounds so dramatic but please tell me you've had fail days like this too?

Everybody has fail days. Even people who tell you they are always perfectly prepared are lying, because LIFE HAPPENS, and plans fail. Also kids are horrible sometimes, and its so hard to find things that work for families with such broad age difference. Dont beat yourself up - you had a nice picnic out, noone died, and now its over. Sorry to hear about your IBS - put your feet up and do whatever helps you to feel better.

Plenty of days like this OP.

It’s shit but a) it gets better and b) you’ll laugh one day.

I had similar when my kids were school age. Is planned a big day out at the end of the holidays and had put a lot of thought into it.

The day arrived and eldest wouldn’t get out of bed, we ended to arguing until he eventually got up and then youngest started ranting that he had no decent clothes to wear. We started arguing again. Finally got out to find the car had been broken into and the door had been bent completely out of shape. Car undrivable. I tried to think on my feet and took them on bus to the seaside, it was far too busy, the chippies were heaving, long queues everywhere and the tide was in so couldn’t even go on the beach. The kids started arguing with each other and I just wanted to cry.

I don’t miss those days. I still hate the summer holidays now, I have a toddler grandchild and I can’t even take her out as it’s just too packed out everywhere. Roll on September.

Oh OP you poor thing, sounds shit. I have absolutely had days like this too. As PP said, you will laugh about it one day. Tomorrow will be better xxxx

Sorry it wasn’t all you planned- you can still save the day- maybe Get a takeaway or some snacks/ice cream, watch a family film when you get home- and plan a fun cheap local day tomorrow or Monday

Of course we've all had days out with DC that turned out to be a bit shit! Don't be so hard on yourself. You've got a baby and two primary aged DC, that's a lot to handle and there are going to be times where things don't go to plan.

You're disappointed because you'd built this day out up in your head to be great and it wasn't, you're probably tired, and you're feeling poorly so it's difficult to get things into perspective. But I promise you, no one is going to be "traumatised" by a day out that didn't to to plan. Not you, not your DC. It's just a bad day.

Your baby is still very young. It will get easier.

This is a really good idea. It's not too late to salvage something positive from today, OP.

Ah, OP, you sound just like me.

I do this to myself (and family) on a regular basis. I build up these scenarios in my head and then when it doesn't go to plan I get so down. I too have a young baby and an older DC - if you're anything like me at the minute you're exhausted to the point where you could sleep standing up. This doesn't help

I was in tears myself earlier.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I constantly compare myself to other families, especially on social media, who go on 'days out' and make it look so spectacular yet easy.

Go home, order in pizzas and have a movie and snacks night.

This day can still turn around

Yes I think a takeaway is definitely on the agenda tonight. It's just shit isn't it. I used to spend a lot of time in this city when I was young and carefree, it's so different going back with family and having a rubbish experience. I'm most upset about snapping at dc and then crying in front of them. How bloody ridiculous.

Aw, I had a similar age gap. Oldest was 13, middle one 10 when baby came along.
I could regale you with the 2 week holiday I took them on to North Wales, which I can look back on and laugh now, but jeez it were grim at the time.
Divide and conquer is my advice to you. Take turns with the nipper and other parent does days out with older ones, trips to the pictures etc.

definitely been there done that !
I second trying to laugh it off for your older dc..tell them ' well that did not go well did it ? lets get a takeaway, make popcorn and watch a movie..cus its been a rubbish day '
i think its important not to catastrophize to children, life sometimes doesnt go to plan , and it is ok to say that it didnt work out, or you made a mistake but its not the end of the world..so you DC learn to shrug off what in the end was not a disaster and was just one bad day
enjoy your evening and don't dwell too much !

Poor OP. I’m sorry you had a bad day. I hope one of your DCs or your DH gave you a cuddle when you were crying.

@Clarinet1 nobody cuddled me but it did momentarily stop the bickering 🙈

When I have a day like this I talk to my Dc about it and hopefully have a laugh about it. “What a disaster! This is why I think it didn’t work out… what do you think we could do differently next time? Here are some ideas I have had”.

Your older DC will be big enough to have some thoughts and ideas themselves and it will help you feel more connected to them and like a team if you chat to them.

If you’ve nothing on tomorrow or Monday could one of you just take the 2 older ones out somewhere , it’s very difficult with the age gap you’ve got catering for everyone and is probably quite a shock for your older two just how limiting a baby can be . Everyone has shit days for one reason or another , I wouldn’t worry about it too much .

Not ridiculous at all it’s really tough being a mum

Been there, done that, OP. I remember one particularly bad "nice family day out" which ended with one of the DC being shat on by a seagull. We laugh about it now, though.

Well it sounds rough op and I feel your pain, I hate busy cities these days and hope you’re ok. But this isn’t a trauma.