To quite like a man you can have a good argument with?

[Alldelicious]

Umm, I mean debate!

I really love a good putting the world to rights "discussion" and if it gets a bit heated all the better. Not nasty, but spirited.

There's a man in my circle who has a rep for being a bit obnoxious/opinionated, but I find him really interesting company ....and increasingly attractive

Go for it!

YANBU. It's so much fun! That said, I think it can annoy others if you're in a group at a pub for instance. Some people can't bear a debate.

Yes! I love people who are passionate about their opinions and who like debating about current issues and defending their point if needed.
I love debating, comparing views, seeing others perspective...
It is rather difficult to find someone that likes proper conversations these days. And if it is a man I do not wonder you do fancy him!

YANBU

I sometimes instigate arguments with DH just to get that thrill of a good 'debate'

I love a good debate with an intelligent and knowledgeable adversary.

He really can be quite obnoxious. I get along with him well IRL, but on-line he can be nasty. A lot of people have blocked him and I've hidden him.

No, I don’t tend to like people who are widely considered ‘obnoxious.’ I think there’s a way to debate topics or have interesting discussion without being obnoxious and nasty - those types of people don’t really win arguments, people just can’t be bothered with them anymore as they often really struggle to debate properly, they tend to be more like a child just shouting their own opinion over and over than an adult absorbing new information then coming back with new ideas etc. It gets old and people think ‘no point debating with John, he’s dull and boring.’

I also wouldn’t want to date or really even be around someone I see being nasty and have to hide/block online. That type of attitude will surface in other things - he sees himself as above everyone and you’re not special or different. He’s cleverer than everyone including you. That’s why he feels he can be nasty and obnoxious. For me that just doesn’t work, I need to be with somebody who respects me and sees me as an equal.

Yup. A nice debate followed by a shag.

How well do you know him in RL and what's his relationship history like? Some people have an online 'persona' that doesn't translate to RL.

Before I started going out with my ex, I thought he was great in the way that he could always win arguments. I eventually realised it was more that he always had to be right.

Well I love a good debate (increasingly out of touch though need to get back on form), but the nastiness online would kill any desire for me. What I like is a person who can have a good debate WITHOUT resorting to nastiness. Now that is something to aim for. And I've always been like that, nastiness gives me the ick (for want of a better term).

I love a good debate and a man that knows how to do it well, so long as I'm not married to him - he might think everything is up for discussion.

Go for it but be aware of not falling into the trap of being controlled and manipulated.

First red flag 🚩 and graciously bow out

My ex was a mass-debater

he can be nasty

Red flag for me. Opinionated, feisty, passionate about their beliefs … Absolutely fine. But nasty? No way.

What on earth is attractive about a man like that? He's an arsehole. Living with an insufferable, cocky know-it-all like him would be hell on earth.