Neighbours homeschooled kids play out ALL day. AIBU?

[EdwinaMonsoon]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Looking for a bit of advice if possible.

We live in terraced housing in a family area, so since Summer holidays started most of our neighbours kids have been out playing in their gardens during the day, which is absolutely fine, it's Summer holidays so that's to be expected. But even when the new term starts next week, the children who live next door to us will STILL be playing out.

The family moved here in March(?), they have 2 children who I assumed weren't old enough for school yet, but in a recent chat with the parents we found out they are, in fact, homeschooled.

They're out in the garden from about 10am-8pm every single day. They're not the type of children who scream and shriek, which I appreciate, but it's the constant chattering/playing noises for 10 hours every day, and not having a moments peace in my own garden (or when my windows are open, for that matter!). They have breaks in-between, which I assume is for food, but then come straight back out again. This has been ongoing since the day they moved in.

It's the fact that this is going to be an all-year round thing, not just school breaks/holidays that's bothering me. I understand they are entitled to use their garden as they please, but aren't we (and the rest of our neighbours) entitled to some peace every now and then?

We're not particularly familiar with the parents, we've only chatted with them in passing a handful of times, so my husband and I haven't raised this with them. And we don't know if this is even an issue we're entitled to raise.

If we did mention this to them, what could we say without coming across as offensive to their kids?

*All school aged children must have access to the National Curriculum

Wrong.

But not for 10 hours a day everyday for the past 6 months and indefinitely. You can act as self-righteous as you like, but it definitely would bother you

Nope. There are something bloody awful things to listen to, children playing is not one of them. I would choose it over most other things.

I feel enormously sorry for the family. You sound spiteful. YOU are the nightmare neighbour, not them.

Maybe you'll drive them away. Frankly, at that point, you would deserve a houseful of really, really atrocious neighbours who don't give a shit about social norms, play music in the garden at full blast and really DO destroy your peace and quality of life.

I used to live next door to a large family who home-schooled. The younger children would be playing in the garden most days in good weather. You might not like it, but you could live next door to barking dogs, teens revving up motor bikes, a couple shouting and arguing ...

Just let your neighbours live their lives - you don't have to like it, but you do have to accept it.

I have. I read it and then went back and posted to that one specifically because before you knew you were BU, you were still pretending to care.

They’re not obliged to keep quiet to suit you!

Move!

Thank you. I really appreciate this post. I think a lot of people on here don't have experience with living next door/in close proximity to homeschooled children, so wouldn't understand my dilemma unfortunately.

Get…over…yourself!

And buy some earplugs.

Kids playing is not a bad sound!

Just think; they’re going to grow up and become teenagers

🤣🤣🤣

OP - I think just being friendly, intrigued and non judgemental would be a good start.

I do agree with the PP who said they also would be exasperated by this. My own children who are home ed are in our garden for short bursts and we always remind them not to shout or shriek etc.

Maybe you have got to the point where you are thinking they are out there more than they actually are

I think a lot of people on here don't have experience with living next door/in close proximity to homeschooled children, so wouldn't understand my dilemma unfortunately

Oh for goodness' sake. They are just CHILDREN. It's NOT a 'dilemma.'

Don't be so utterly ludicrous. Do you seriously think that people don't live next door to children? That no one can POSSIBLY imagine that incredibly unusual situation?

I haven't read such ridiculous, intolerant crap in years.

Even the OP said they're not shrieking. They're chattering and playing.

I don't believe they're in the garden 10 hours a day 7 days a week either.

Um, when is the actual schooling going on?

Children even of 4/5 are in class for five hours a day, I realise that it's a lot of play-based learning in the FS, but school is normally an indoor thing, surely?

No, I don't think you're being unreasonable, I know that my neighbour was exasperated with the noise my 8 and 10 year old during the first lockdown, which was an awful time really when they had nowhere else to play. Tempers do get frayed when people are stuck side by side constantly. I get pissed off with the constant noise of gardening tools, radios, barking dogs etc and prefer the colder weather because it is so much quieter!

You're taking such an aggressive attitude on this thread, this thread was started simply to ask for some advice.

So you read what I posted about not having experience with home educating, didn't realise they don't have to follow a schedule/curriculum, and understand now with this information that a council inquiry would be ridiculous, and you still proceeded to go back and quote the previous post to call me nasty names? Right then. Makes sense.

That may be so but I'm going by my friend who has homeschooled all four of her children and has regaled me with all of the hoops that she is obliged to jump through.

Spending eight till four , unsupervised, just playing , is accessing no curriculum whatsoever.

Why people buy houses with both gardens and neighbours when they know they struggle with hearing other people using their outside space is beyond me. Either buy a house with no neighbours or save your money and go for a flat instead. It's completely unrealistic to live around other people and expect to be able not to hear any of them be in their gardens when you use yours.

I feel your pain OP. I can empathise. We all crave some peace and quiet . I’m afraid like everyone else seems to have said nothing you can do about it .

it would be enough to make me move. I, like your enjoy peace and tranquility but when you like on a street of terraced houses that can’t be a given

I don't struggle with hearing outside noise, that's why I live here, I have no problem with the area. I haven't had any problems with neighbours or their children for all the years I've lived here, it's just this one particular family that have recently moved in and their unusual routine.

The problem with these threads is people are so quick to twist words and make accusations that simply aren't true. But that's the nature of aibu I suppose!

I don't know. I've been on MN for 15 years, so I've seen my fair share of annoying threads. But every now and then, one comes along that really gets under the skin, and this is one of them.

It's the sad-face 'my dilemma' whining. The casual spitefulness of even THINKING about reporting this poor family. The 'poor little me, no one understands' bleating about the sheer horror of two young children playing nicely next door. What a way to live life.

Ugh. Just a nasty, nasty little thread.

Life on council estates.. we’re the same here but I love hearing the kids play all day long.. hopefully my 3year old daughter will be one day out there with them all :)

My neighbour is exactly the same.

Its so hard to explain to someone else. They aren't doing anything wrong as such. But its the fact it NEVER lets up and they never go out. I also have to sit indoors with windows shut when in work calls or if i want to read a book. Its mostly chatter and playing and they are well behaved nice kids.

They also have bi fold doors and i can hear every conversation they have indoors too as their voices do seem to carry a bit.

I do still sit outside but i sit with my back to them and wear noise cancelling headphones.

The plots arent tiny and we are not in a terrace but i dont understand why they dont live on a small holding in the middle if nowhere to make as much noise as they want. It seems a strange choice to live in the burbs if you are outdoorsy to that extent.

The OP said homeschooled children. Children who are within sight and hearing far more than children going to school.

I don't understand the defensiveness. Part of living in close proximity to others is learning to negotiate and compromise. When you Home ed, you realise how much the world is set up for children not to be seen and heard all the time and you can't blame the OP being used to this existence and not expecting or wanting to hear significant child noise nearly everyday.

Much as I loved my own children. I wouldn't have been wanting to hear other children's noise all the time either.

The chattering/playing noises non-stop for 10 hours a day, it's exasperating.

Sounds delightful to me. Small children enjoying the out of doors without shrieking or otherwise being excessively loud. Wonderful, what life is all about. Sounds as though they are having their own private Forest School.

Go inside and close your windows then? I cannot imagine why you think you have any entitlement to a garden so quiet that children aren't even allowed to play nicely near it? I don't have a garden but when I did, I could hear all sorts in it: traffic, cows, farm machinery, children playing in the park nearby , in the street, in their gardens, adults doing DIY, vans beeping as they reversed, bin men, adults enjoying their gardens or just talking in them, the list endless, lorries and ambulances going past the end of the road. All completely normal.

OTOH if they really don't look as though they are having any kind of even informal learning, and are just being left to their own devices completely all day every day, that might be another matter as in their educational needs may not be being met and you can make a call if you really suspect that may be the case. But be wise to the fact that homeschooling for small children definitely does NOT need to look anything like sitting at a desk learning the National Curriculum.

You don't give a wild rat's arse about their curriculum/education. You want them gone. Maybe even taken from the parent's care. The parent's should start having the children practice instruments everyday - maybe drums or trumpets.

I couldn't stand to live next door to other people and that's why I live miles from everyone else. You need to do the same.

It would depend where your friend lives as to what she had to provide but in England it is fairly minimal.

Nobody here, including the op, actually knows what is and is not being provided so it's pointless speculating.

I had a feeling you'd say something like this, but the fact is that you talked in your OP about being entitled to some peace. With multiple neighbours in earshot, which is going to be the case in a terrace, that is simply not a reasonable or legitimate expectation. They could all only be out for a few hours each day and there still never be a time when you got 'peace'. When there wasn't the noise of talking, children playing etc audible.

You thinking you could live in a terrace in what you describe as a family area and yet reasonably expect the absence of these noises is inherently unreasonable. Having been fine in the area thus far is purely luck, given this attitude. But if you think you're entitled to time outside not hearing these ordinary and reasonable noises, something like this was always a risk.

Nowhere has the OP referred to whether the children are unsupervised or not. Most siblings at 5 & 7 wouldn’t be able to entertain themselves for 10 hours straight outside without any adult direction or support to manage disagreements, guide aspects of the activity etc so I’d assume that at least some of the time they are playing they will have an adult’s input to scaffold their learning and help them link educational concepts to their experiences.

Hope for your sake you don’t end up with a childminder on your other-side they are also outside all the time!

The OP said homeschooled children. Children who are within sight and hearing far more than children going to school

What difference does that even make?? We have about six under 5's near us. They're out all the time, of course they are!

Would the noise suddenly become intolerable because they decide to homeschool? Why is it fine for up to 4/5 years old but not afterwards? Homeschool makes not a jot of difference.

Is the OP ticking the dates off on a calendar until children SHOULD got to school? Possibly, I suppose.