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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Maintenance payments from exes don't count towards UC?

113 replies

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 18:46

A family member has a very wealthy ex-DH who through an informal arrangement pays a few thousand a month and gave her a property in their split. She has deliberately made sure that she has no cash assets and spends what he gives her each month so she can then also qualify for UC which she receives in full due to not working. Apparently this is completely above board but i think its awful that it is.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 26/08/2022 19:34

@riverofgods the money is not for her to live off.

And if she's paying private school fees (plural) plus 3 holidays a year then no it's probably not

JustLyra · 26/08/2022 19:34

Years ago the system was that maintenance counted.

My father was supposed to pay £64 a week. That was deducted from anything claimed as it was “income”.

CSA got precisely £0 from him.

Yet £64 a week was deducted from my GP’s benefits - can you imagine the poverty that put us into?

The number of people who get a lot of money from an ex is tiny. It would be abhorrent to design the system around them.

Original poster
riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:34

the father isn't absent by the way, he has them every weekend and they split school holidays

OP posts:
SplashparkSummer · 26/08/2022 19:34

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:31

Isnt that for JSA not UC? I thought you didnt need to be applying for jobs for UC?

Show quote history

No, it's all UC now. So either she can work and is going through hell trying to find work...or she's not.

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:34

Why don't you do the same as she did?

DeePlume · 26/08/2022 19:35

JSA is part of UC.

I was in a similar position when I got divorced. The woman at the job centre said the reason they don't count maintenance towards UC is because the maintenance could disappear or drop loads depending on the ex's circumstances. The UC money would still be paid so the RP would still have money to live on as a new claim takes several weeks to go through.

FarmerRefuted · 26/08/2022 19:35

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:31

Isnt that for JSA not UC? I thought you didnt need to be applying for jobs for UC?

Show quote history

JSA doesn't exist now, the majority of DWP benefits were amalgamated into UC - one application process, one payment.

You don't know how the system works yet you feel qualified to pass judgement on it. Nice.

SplashparkSummer · 26/08/2022 19:36

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:27

Maintenance is for the kids but no need to then claim UC

So what will the mum live off then? Fresh air?

Original poster
riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:36

girlmom21 · 26/08/2022 19:34

@riverofgods the money is not for her to live off.

And if she's paying private school fees (plural) plus 3 holidays a year then no it's probably not

he pays the school fees. she does pay the holidays but a few thousand a month is still plenty to live off without needing state intervention too. and if she did want more, whats wrong with working?

OP posts:
FarmerRefuted · 26/08/2022 19:37

What's wrong with winding your neck in and minding your own business?

girlmom21 · 26/08/2022 19:37

@riverofgods the money still isn't for her, not matter how many times you say it's enough to live off.

She's your friend, why don't you ask her why she hasn't got a job?

SplashparkSummer · 26/08/2022 19:37

I don't understand. What income does the mum have if she is not working?

Original poster
riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:37

she isnt trying to find work. she has said she deliberately wont work as it would affect UC entitlement.

OP posts:
chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:37

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:34

the father isn't absent by the way, he has them every weekend and they split school holidays

What's that got to do with it. Look some people marry rich some people don't. Some people get high earning jobs some people don't. There's no point getting yourself wound up and comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:38

Shes entitled to it so she should claim it.

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:39

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:37

she isnt trying to find work. she has said she deliberately wont work as it would affect UC entitlement.

The same decision many people on benefits have to make

FarmerRefuted · 26/08/2022 19:40

A family member has a very wealthy ex-DH who through an informal arrangement pays a few thousand a month and gave her a property in their split

Key phrase here is informal arrangement.

What about when he decides he's had enough of playing Father Bountiful and scales it back? Or he has a new partner and decides he'd rather spend it on her? Or they have a baby of their own? Or your family member makes a parenting decision that pisses him off so he drops down the maintenance as punishment? Or his assets/income takes a hit so he stops the payments?

SplashparkSummer · 26/08/2022 19:40

riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:37

she isnt trying to find work. she has said she deliberately wont work as it would affect UC entitlement.

She is either capable of work and therefore will have to do job searches or her money will be sanctioned. Or she's not capable. She might just not want to you to know she's unwell or something like that. Maybe as she thinks you will judge....

RunningSME · 26/08/2022 19:40

My children didnt have beds until the CMS payment kicked in. They each had a single bed from ebay the first month. A chest of drawers the second, wardrobes the third. On the 4th month i got off the blow up mattress.

imagine if the money had been deducted 😳

Original poster
riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:40

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:37

What's that got to do with it. Look some people marry rich some people don't. Some people get high earning jobs some people don't. There's no point getting yourself wound up and comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Show quote history

because someone upthread referred to the father as being absent

OP posts:
noclothesinbed · 26/08/2022 19:41

Same as all benefits. People can still be gifted massive amounts from family

Completelyovernonsense · 26/08/2022 19:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

chillipenguin · 26/08/2022 19:41

FarmerRefuted · 26/08/2022 19:40

A family member has a very wealthy ex-DH who through an informal arrangement pays a few thousand a month and gave her a property in their split

Key phrase here is informal arrangement.

What about when he decides he's had enough of playing Father Bountiful and scales it back? Or he has a new partner and decides he'd rather spend it on her? Or they have a baby of their own? Or your family member makes a parenting decision that pisses him off so he drops down the maintenance as punishment? Or his assets/income takes a hit so he stops the payments?

Or dies

FarmerRefuted · 26/08/2022 19:43

That too.

Original poster
riverofgods · 26/08/2022 19:43

FarmerRefuted · 26/08/2022 19:40

A family member has a very wealthy ex-DH who through an informal arrangement pays a few thousand a month and gave her a property in their split

Key phrase here is informal arrangement.

What about when he decides he's had enough of playing Father Bountiful and scales it back? Or he has a new partner and decides he'd rather spend it on her? Or they have a baby of their own? Or your family member makes a parenting decision that pisses him off so he drops down the maintenance as punishment? Or his assets/income takes a hit so he stops the payments?

the father has a new partner who he has had kids with. but yes in the event that he stopped payments the situation would be completely different. she could of course sell the second property that is sitting empty

OP posts: