A couple of nights ago I had a huge row with my dad. I had asked his advice re my dd's (14) typical teenage behaviour and what ensued was an attack on my parenting with all 3 of my children as a whole.
My other 2 are ds (7) who is on the pathway for possible ADHD and asd diagnoses and DD (6) who is already diagnosed ASD and spd. He said my issues with the teen are my own fault because I can't be arsed to parent her (she likes to stay in her room a lot and I don't force her out). He then went on tell me I don't bother with any of my children which is why they all have the most atrocious table manners and no respect. This is because the kids will often not use their cutlery, they play with their food and have a very ltd diet (also commented on). Now I'll be the first to admit they're not the most well behaved children and meal timea have always been tough. But I do keep on at them to use cutlery, I do tell them to stop playing with their food and they know to put their knives and forks together and ask before leaving the table. So not great but also not "atrocious". My dad is incredibly critical and vocal about kids of today and will always comment on the kids choice of TV/video games etc. We regularly have the same chats about this over and over so I started to limit his time with me and the kids because I can't bare his constant nagging and criticism. I told him this and he again said this is why the children have no respect for him as a grandad. I told him he has nothing good or positive to say ever and asked why he has never told me that as a mum I'm doing ok or maybe that I'm a.good mum. He then said because he's never seen it to say it. I was so shocked that he could sit there and tear me apart and make me feel so low like that.
I took it really bad, I cried all night and even contemplated taking my life as felt that clearly my kids deserved better. A couple of days later I'm more level headed and getting on with things trying not to think about it. But I feel like I need to just cut him out of my life. My mum died 8 years ago and he turned into such a nasty grumpy old man and even though he's moved on he's retained this nasty side which frequently rears its head.
Have I overreacted? Should I just brush it off as a grumpy dad thing. I'm just so hurt that he couldn't find it within himself to say that I was doing ok, especially as I separated from my husband 2 years ago and had to move out, start again and start working again after being a stay at home mum for 7 years. Aibu?