There's myself (female), my long term partner (male) and our male friend.
All introverts, get together once a week usually at our house for a good chat, laugh, whatever. The male friend knows my partner more than myself, as they have done some creative work together in the past, but in the past 5 years or so he usually sees us both together and we get on great.
A little bit of info: Friend is middle aged, single, never been married. Has looked after sick parents for a few years until their passing, so has been dealing with grief and house selling, etc. He has had relationships in the past but seems largely uninterested in general these days. We are all quite similar and at ease.
My issue: in the past year or so, whenever he visits, there's a sort of jokey play fighting with me in particular. I don't mind this usually and am glad he is comfortable with me enough to do it. However, it has begun to irritate me a bit, as he doesn't do this to my partner. It's all kind of playful, but can get a bit wearing. An example could be me saying "im having a glass of wine tonight!" and the response is typically, "What, you're on the bottles again!!??'
No big deal, but this is how he kind of softly spars with me, but never with my partner.
I might say (about my partner) "He did this crazy thing the other day!"
And his response might be, appearing to be in jest: "Who's 'he', why not call him by his name!?"
In fact, his adoration and respect for my partner has only recently occurred to me. If I jokingly say anything about him this guy jumps to his defence, which was funny..... for a while.
Anything my partner says or does is revered. So in some sense he plays me off against my partner, but it's very amusing and subtle. I am not exactly upset by this but am very curious what you might think? Because I am so close to the thing I may not be able to really perceive the exact dynamic here, if that makes sense?
So yeh, I would love some opinions. Maybe I ought to button it a bit and not be so open? It doesn't trouble me (fuck, it's a first world problem I know) but it is somewhat irritating. What might I do to fling it off kilter and nip it in the bud?
Partner adores the guy but understands what I have said. Just seems nonplussed. There's nothing inappropriate or offensive here but in some ways, to my mind, it's like the friend has a weird hetero crush on my partner and can perceive him as doing no wrong. Any film, music or book my partner recommends is readily accepted and adored. I guess I find this odd at our age (near 50).
Any thoughts?