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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want a little celebration for the lower achievers at GCSE?

216 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 25/08/2022 21:05

DS1 got three 6's and three 4's at GCSE. He failed history and biology.

He could have done better, but amidst the nine 9's I feel like saying a small well done to the other kids who did well - even if they didn't blow the roof off!

GCSE's are a stepping stone and as long as your DC are happy, any grades are cause for celebration.

DS1 can now move on to college and start the next stage in his life, and for that I am very thankful.

OP posts:
cheninblanc · 25/08/2022 21:34

My daughter got x3 4s, a merit, an appeal on one for another 4 and the rest 3s. She did awesome. Has no resits and has been accepted to 6th form on her first choice courses.

She works extremely hard to maintain those grades. She was predicted a 2 in maths and got a 4!! Never missed anything in lockdown, attended every club going for help and had a tutor. So I've celebrated my dd, she's not a straight 9 student but she's really achieved today

Anon50000 · 25/08/2022 21:34

FunnyNC · 25/08/2022 21:28

The issue I find with this OP is that the ones with 8s and 9s did put more time and effort over the years than the 4s and 5s. My dd got 8s and 9s. She worked so hard to get those results, when her friends were down the park or pretending to work online during covid my dd was actually doing her school work. Yes it's great for everyone who passed but lets not do participation awards/celebrations and take away the hard work over the years of the high achievers. I say that as a parent of a yr 11 this year and a parent of another going into yr 11 in September who's predicted 4s and 5s - his dedication to school work is not the same as my eldests so no his achievement won't be so great. That's life, you put in what you get out!

Plenty of kids work hard and still won't be able to achieve 8s and 9s.

Lougle · 25/08/2022 21:35

FunnyNC · 25/08/2022 21:28

The issue I find with this OP is that the ones with 8s and 9s did put more time and effort over the years than the 4s and 5s. My dd got 8s and 9s. She worked so hard to get those results, when her friends were down the park or pretending to work online during covid my dd was actually doing her school work. Yes it's great for everyone who passed but lets not do participation awards/celebrations and take away the hard work over the years of the high achievers. I say that as a parent of a yr 11 this year and a parent of another going into yr 11 in September who's predicted 4s and 5s - his dedication to school work is not the same as my eldests so no his achievement won't be so great. That's life, you put in what you get out!

Who says they put in more time and effort? Your child may have done but it doesn't follow that all did.

Luredbyapomegranate · 25/08/2022 21:36

Of course! congratulations to him. What’s he going to do at college?

cheninblanc · 25/08/2022 21:36

FunnyNC not true at all here. My dd couldn't have put more hours in to study even in lockdown. I disagree completely

Comefromaway · 25/08/2022 21:36

We celebrated ds’s one 8, two 5’s & two 4’s just as much as his sisters clutch of 8’s & 9’s.

it got him onto the college course he wanted and he’s now off to conservatoire.

SammySueTwo · 25/08/2022 21:36

Absolutely nothing to celebrate here. Not one. So well done all who passed, but there are some for whom there is no college place and no future.

TattiePants · 25/08/2022 21:36

@FunnyNC you've just proved the OP's point. The high achieving kids get the (deserved) recognition as it's assumed they worked their hardest. Why would you think that the DCs that got 4s and 5s didn't put in just as much effort as those achieving 8s and 9s? Some of them may have spent their time out with friends or watching Netflix instead of revising but many of them will have worked their socks off to achieve grades 3, 4 or 5.

saffy56 · 25/08/2022 21:37

My DD got 1x6 1x5 and 5x4's and 2x3's. In year 9 she was top set and a high achiever and predicted 8's and 9's by the year 11 mocks she was suffering huge anxiety and year 11 was a massive struggle for her. In her mocks she was predicted 2's. So these results are a huge confidence boost for her. She was convinced she would be opening an envelope with a set of 2's in.

Luredbyapomegranate · 25/08/2022 21:38

Lougle · 25/08/2022 21:35

Who says they put in more time and effort? Your child may have done but it doesn't follow that all did.

Show quote history

@FunnyNC

Are you aware at all that some kids are academic, some have talents that lie elsewhere, and GCSEs favour the academic, so no matter how hard they work, some kids won’t score high… or are you a bit thick?

cheninblanc · 25/08/2022 21:38

SammySueTwo sorry to read that, can you apply for college?

FarFarFarAndAway · 25/08/2022 21:38

@FunnyNC well done your daughter, but surely you understand that even if most people worked very very hard, they couldn't get all 8's and 9's, they are norm adjusted, so after the initial marking, the grade boundaries are moved so only a certain % get that particular grade. Grade 9's are the top 20% of the 7-9 grades or whatever.

Of course many students don't try, but a lot do and will never hit 8's and 9'!

It's like saying everyone can be above average if they tried hard enough. No, they can't!

ShowOfHands · 25/08/2022 21:38

FunnyNC · 25/08/2022 21:28

The issue I find with this OP is that the ones with 8s and 9s did put more time and effort over the years than the 4s and 5s. My dd got 8s and 9s. She worked so hard to get those results, when her friends were down the park or pretending to work online during covid my dd was actually doing her school work. Yes it's great for everyone who passed but lets not do participation awards/celebrations and take away the hard work over the years of the high achievers. I say that as a parent of a yr 11 this year and a parent of another going into yr 11 in September who's predicted 4s and 5s - his dedication to school work is not the same as my eldests so no his achievement won't be so great. That's life, you put in what you get out!

Quite apart from the fact you're wrong, are you saying don't have a thread for those DC who achieved at the lower end. The children with SEN or ill health or personal challenges or who struggle for whatever reason and have tried hard despite all this?! Really?

Celebrating the achievement of one group doesn't detract from the work of another group.

Simonjt · 25/08/2022 21:40

FunnyNC · 25/08/2022 21:28

The issue I find with this OP is that the ones with 8s and 9s did put more time and effort over the years than the 4s and 5s. My dd got 8s and 9s. She worked so hard to get those results, when her friends were down the park or pretending to work online during covid my dd was actually doing her school work. Yes it's great for everyone who passed but lets not do participation awards/celebrations and take away the hard work over the years of the high achievers. I say that as a parent of a yr 11 this year and a parent of another going into yr 11 in September who's predicted 4s and 5s - his dedication to school work is not the same as my eldests so no his achievement won't be so great. That's life, you put in what you get out!

I did fuck all work at GCSE, I certainly didn’t revise, I achieved A grades across the board. Most people at my school will have worked much much harder than I did.

WeAreAllLionesses · 25/08/2022 21:40

I have two friends with daughters off to the same uni. One got BBC. The other got AAA*.

The other students won't know who did better at school - exams are a stepping stone to get to the next level. And then it's the next level that counts (and so on)!

FarFarFarAndAway · 25/08/2022 21:42

@SammySueTwo there really is a college place for everyone, including those who need to retake Maths/English, or those who cannot attain GCSE's and need help with functional literacy and maths and everyday skills. I know several children who have gone that route, they are not academic in the traditional sense, but there are a LOT of options at all levels, our school provides the contact and phone number to call and discuss, even if it seems everything is lost- it is not, and there are all kinds of courses for students without the 4 and above.

FarFarFarAndAway · 25/08/2022 21:44

@SammySueTwo it may be the issue is not wanting to engage though, and that's a whole other thing. The good news is that people can come back into education later on, especially at local colleges. It may be they have to leave, though, and find another path right now. I don't mean to sound like I'm dismissing your problems.

ByeByeMr · 25/08/2022 21:45

Those are good grades in my opinion. Bit of a shame he failed two but not the end of the world and at least it wasn't Maths and English.

Hellenbach · 25/08/2022 21:46

I'm thinking of all the 'ghost children' today who didn't return to school after the lockdowns. What happened to them?
My DS suffered from anxiety and depression and missed most of Y10 and didn't return to school full time last September for Yr 11.
At one point I thought he was too unwell to ever take his GCSEs.
Today he got his results. He passed every exam he sat. He didn't get the high grades he had been predicted pre-Covid.
He doesn't care and neither do I. He's achieved so much and I'm
so proud of him for walking back into that building for the last time today. He enrols at college tomorrow.
Let's remember those poor, struggling pupils who didn't get the right support or just couldn't cope. There's so many of them out there.

FunnyNC · 25/08/2022 21:47

It's no different to a degree. You start uni and the lecturers tell you that you get what you put in. I remember being advised not to have a boyfriend and not to have a job as distractions take away your grades.

So yes my dd who has always worked hard, never had a detention, never been sent to isolation, read books in the library at lunchtime and went above and beyond all of the time did work harder then those who didn't.

My ds does bare minimum. He will get bare minimum results. It's not a judgement it's a fact.

I don't actually agree with the education system we have and think dcs have way too much work to do in a time in their life where they don't know what they want. Their brains are growing like toddlers and rism taking and independent behaviour is coming out. However, my dds hard work shouldn't be diminished by saying others worked as hard when they didn't. We can celebrate academic achievement without diminishing it for them by saying what about the 4s.

cheninblanc · 25/08/2022 21:48

Hellenbach that's a fantastic achievement

ByeByeMr · 25/08/2022 21:48

I left school in 1998. Nowadays if you get less than a 4 does that mean you've failed?

Rockhopper81 · 25/08/2022 21:48

@Simonjt - was about to say the same thing, I got As across my GCSEs, except for one D (which was bizarrely the only subject I actually revised for), and I didn't revise or work all that hard. I mean, turns out I had undiagnosed ASD and ADHD, but aside from that I've always been naturally academic. My best friend, conversely, worked her arse off for the Cs and Ds she achieved, went on to do a coursework based course in sixth form, then a mostly coursework based degree, and is now doing really well in HR - who really worked the hardest there @FunnyNC ??

My nephew got a 5, the rest 4s, except for maths where he got a 3. He worked really, really hard, had a tutor for maths, and is gutted he didn't get a 'pass' in maths - he'll retake it

Dotcheck · 25/08/2022 21:48

Perhaps the YABU is because 6’s are not ‘lower achievers’ .
6 really isn’t a low grade

Lougle · 25/08/2022 21:49

I posted on another thread but DD1 got her results today, too. She has SEN and went to special school. She had a terrible year 9/10, as she was severely unwell and was admitted to hospital in January 2021, then didn't return to school until May, part-time, then went back full time in July of 2021 (year 10).
She got entry level 2 certificates in English and Maths, entry level 3 in performing arts, level 1 awards in science, hospitality, and skills in sports, and GCSE grade 1 in art.

We're so proud of her for plugging away despite her challenges.

She will go on to the SEN department of a college and do a life skills entry level 2 course. She has an EHCP, so she can take her time building up her levels.