AIBU to think a tomato is not a sufficient breakfast?

[TomatoBrain]

DD 10 is not one for eating much when she's just woken up. Being back at school is a slight issue as she needs to leave at 710. To have a chance of eating something she needs to be up at 630. This morning she took a tomato for breakfast. I've just noticed she put toast in the toaster but didn't take it out.

That means for breakfast today she has had one tomato and 100ml of energy milk. She's taken a cereal bar (20g) and water (which she probably won't drink) for break time. Do you think this enough food to power a 10 year old through 5 lessons this morning at school?

I think is isn't enough (YANBU) but at am a loss to know how to get her to eat more. As you can see, I let her have free choice in the mornings just so that she eats something. YABU what she ate is fine.

@maddy68 no, it's not. We usually eat at 7pm. Last year she had P.E. first lesson which I thought particularly brutal. This year she has it 3rd (9-950) which is still before break so she wouldn't have had her snack yet.

@mummymeister good to know the erratic-ness she is a bit like this. Sometimes she clears everything and more, other times she's eating not a lot.

I didn't say anything to her this morning about the tomato. I figured at least she wasn't demanding crisps or cake, and she hat at least eaten something!

Yes indeed, that is the only possible alternative to a bacon sandwich.

There are a couple of combinations e.g. white bread and milk which she absolutely will not eat in the mornings as she says it makes her feel sick

Go with that and ask what she would want - I found with teens that giving options where possible within a "framework" of healthy eating helped. Something else which helped with erratic teen and proto teen timetables was some meals which could be portioned and grabbed from the fridge to heat up or add dressing etc.

I was also pretty militant about family table once a day on at least most days of the week. So sometimes the DC would eat earlier or later due to activities but one or both of us would always be at the table with them, even if their early meal meant we ate later and just joined them with a cup of tea. Whenever possible we all ate together.

This may sound odd but it is where you pick up a lot of casual worries/changes which teens do not express in other ways and we were both raised with meals being a social thing as much as a time for eating. May not work for everyone but it did help my lot.

Why does she leave for school so early?

Risky stuff - that vegan hen might have eaten a few insects!

How about a homemade smoothie instead of the energy milk thing? Add some nut butter to it, chia seeds, banana. Can get a lot of nutrition in.

@C8H10N4O2 I always eat lunch with them, DH too if he's wfh. Breakfast is usually just me as DH has already left or is on his way out. Evening, we eat together unless it's a club day, in which case I sit with her whilst she eats something.

I wouldn’t force her to eat breakfast. I’ve never eaten it. I don’t need to eat food early in the morning to power me, the food I ate yesterday is powering my morning fine. Yesterday I ate my “breakfast” at 9pm in that it was the first meal of the day and I had done a full day at work on my feet plus overtime, commute and a 7km run after. There was no need to eat a breakfast I didn’t want or a lunch I didn’t have time for.

Yes i understand children are different but I have always been this way, when I was ten my preference was to have a meal or snack straight after school around 4pm and then some dinner later on. Breakfast was an absolute no and lunch was occasionally welcome but not often, and if presented would be picked at.

Well, grilled tomatoes are often part of a cooked breakfast so I wouldn't class a tomato as odd at that time in the morning...

I would still be hungry on just that but I'm an adult not a 10 year old, very possible that her appetite will increase when she gets older.

If it's any help, I ate like a mouse at her age. My mum constantly worried because my brother are like a horse. I knew she fussed because she cared but it was frustrating when I really didn't see it as a problem. I went through a stage (in my teens) of not wanting to eat breakfast even though I cycled 3 miles to school. It sounds like your daughter just struggles to eat first thing and if she isn't fainting/wasting away she must be making up the calories she needs some other time of the day.
It's so easy to beat ourselves up as mothers and second-guess everything.

Not eating when not hungry is a healthy habit, why would you want to train her out of it? There is nothing magic about breakfast. If your daughter takes in sufficient calories over the day to fuel her (presumably active and growing) body it does not really matter at what stage in the day she eats.

I wouldn’t worry especially about PE without any breakfast - if I want to run or workout in the morning I always do it on an empty stomach as I hate the feeling of food sloshing about in there when I exercise.

I wouldn’t worry especially about PE without any breakfast - if I want to run or workout in the morning I always do it on an empty stomach as I hate the feeling of food sloshing about in there when I exercise.
See, now if I try to do any exercise on an empty stomach I throw up /retch and pass out.

The verdict is in. It is indeed not enough and her tummy was rumbling in maths - the lesson before break. She was ravenous when she got in. I tweaked the meal
plan so her favourite was today and she ate loads! No leftovers today. I've told her she has to decide what she wants to do tomorrow and let me know - either get up earlier or eat something slightly more filling. The equivalent lesson before break tomorrow is PE.

I could be completely off the mark here, but I was like this.

When I was at school, we have a sex Ed class, all that stuck with me from that class is how my body would change through puberty.

Hearing that horrified me, I didn't want my body to change, it would keep me up at night. I slowly started cutting down food, when I was forced to eat, I'd make myself sick. I just got worse and worse, I ended up very ill with anorexia.

Could you sit your DD down and talk about it with her? Discuss the puberty topic if you know it's bothering her?

I think that's a really good result OP. She's discovered on her own that she didn't eat enough, without you having to ram the issue down her throat. She'll be way more motivated to eat a bit more than if you'd tried to force her. Good she had a big, hearty lunch - honestly sounds like she's got her head screwed on, and so have you. I don't think you have anything to worry about at all.

I made a spag bol with 330g meat, 800g tomatoes plus veg. I had a normal helping but the rest has gone. And she ate a decent sized bowl of fruit crumble. Probably she won't eat for a week now 😂

@tiddlywinks2 we have had a chat about it already, but I will keep an ear out and see if she wants to chat again. If not, I'll bring it up over half term.

I didn't eat breakfast from the age of 11 to the age of 22. Some people can't stomach food that early. It used to make me gip.

She's fine. Get her some cereal bars etc if you think she needs more.

Sorry saw you give her a cereal bar. She will be fine then. If she was starving at school she'd have said something.

This could be me writing about my DD! We did mini cans of sausage and beans in a bowl at first. She got sick of that, we cycled through a bunch of things she couldn’t stomach that early.

Now she has a cup of tea and 2 sausages at 6:45. She takes a bag of pepperami chicken bites for whenever she wants it. She’s home at 4:30pm and I start her dinner straight away. She’ll have a snack around 8pm.

Its far from perfect, but she’s very fussy about food and too sensitive to use the canteen full of rowdy kids.

Should be okay as she has energy drink tomato water and a cereal bar
maybe get her one of those protein bars or breakfast bars instead of the cereal bar as they are actual meal replacement bars unlike the cereal bar x

'tomato is not a sufficient breakfast?'

Certainly, I would agree if it was at one of those 'all you can eat buffet breakfast'

Probably ok if she’s eating well at other times. On days when it’s important for my kids to eat a good breakfast I will put it in front of them on the table - in sufficient time for them to eat slowly before we leave. Eggs are great for filling them up. They’re totally able to help themselves but wouldn’t be particularly substantial / balanced.

None of my kids ever eat till 10am ish and then have a cereal bar and banana and then lunch.**

My youngest daughter (of 3 kids, she is a twin and has an older ds too) could never eat in the mornings, it’s the way she is. I made her take cereal bars for morning break, I toasted tea cakes /bagels for the bus journey to high school. Honestly.. I’d find about 50% of the foil wrapped bagels like bricks in the bottom of her bag a week later 🙈. As she’s got older I’ve relaxed a bit… she tends to eat a lot from 3.30- 7ish and as long as she’s growing and the thriving and has the opportunity to eat (cereal bars etc) I know she is ok. I’m a bit that way myself - can’t get eat for at least 2 hours after I wake. Keep an eye on it but try not to force the point OP.

Some kids (and adults) just don’t like breakfast/eating early. My now 13 year old daughter has never enjoyed breakfast, unless it’s in the holidays or weekends and it’s much later, more like brunch. I used to obsess over getting her to eat ‘something’ before she left for school, eventually I gave up. She hasn’t eaten breakfast before school since she was about 9. I felt very guilty but she’s otherwise a decent eater and does very well at school.