I have a long term friend who I have always exchanged bday gifts with. She also has 2 kids who I get gifts for/give money. I have no kids. So basically ive been spending about 3x what she has each year. Her bday is a few weeks before mine.
Last year was my 30th and friend got me a more expensive gift than usual, and I reciprocated this year when she turned 30, but she didnt give me a birthday gift. I've seen her a few times since my birthday and she's not mentioned anything.
I know you don't give to receive but I feel quite hurt especially as I spent more because it was her 30th. Also I've been going though a rubbish time with lots of things as well as financially, as I've been very unwell so have not been able to work a lot and this is probably going to continue. My income has halved, from a low wage to begin with, and obviously cost of living is rising for me too.
The cost of living has obviously risen for friend too but they've also had a big increase in income and seems to be able to afford days out, holidays etc.
Now her kids bdays are coming up and I'm thinking can I afford to get gifts for her kids, and do I want to? I dont think they would feel upset not getting a gift from me as i usually just give to parents to give to them and they have lots of relatives that spend a lot on them and I don't think I've ever gotten a thank you from them so not sure they would notice/realise I'd given something in the past.
And then when it's friends birthday next year? Do I say "are we not exchanging gifts?" Or tell her i can't afford it and pretend I didn't notice her ignoring my bday this year (well I did get a text saying happy birthday).
Not really sure what to do...
I know there will probably be loads of mean responses because this is mumsnet, so I'll be ignoring those.