To give my kid fruits for every meal?

[MadeinHarlem]

Hi

I have a kiddo that is very picky. Tried everything. Bribing, punishing, "you will eat when you're hungry". Finally found the solution. She tried some mango, and loved it. She loves fruits. What I do now is incorporate fruits at every meal. E.g. Chicken/Raisins with rice, mango and green beans ( it sounds nasty I know). But she eats it, her greens and meat with fruits.

I am visiting my in-laws and my hubby's mum was horrified. She said we should be more strict, and that giving her fruits at every meal was unhealthy.

She does not eat chips ( not fries, forgot the British word for chips) , candies or even chocolate. She only wants fruits for snack time.

Am I being a sh*t mum?

I agree with avoiding raisins they stick in the teeth so are particularly bad for teeth. I wish I’d known I thought I was giving a healthy alternative.

Sounds brilliant. If it working for you, go for it

Cant see a problem as you are giving chicken and rice and other bits. Ido a nice mango, pineapple, grated carrot and jar of red peppers in a slaw to serve with chicken rice and black eye peas.

Continue what you're doing and keep giving fruit. Its working and your child is eating a healthy balanced diet. Well done.

No you’re being a fantastic mum!

fussy eating is so stressful but you’re including a safe food (fruit which so happens to be healthy despite what MN will tell you) at every meal. In time this will broaden her culinary horizons.

id just watch portion size so it’s not such a large amount of fruit that it takes over the meal, a small portion on the main meal plate is just fine.

im sure you don’t but no pressure, no pleading, no one bite please, Waving food, it will just make the situation worse. There are no bad foods, only our relationship with them

Fruit = fructose.
Sugar in sweets = sucrose.

One is bound to micronutrients and fibre and is great for kids who brush their teeth well.

One is a delicious treat.

They are biochemically different, don’t stress.

Thisisanewnamename

Thank you so much. For example last night she had a grilled salmon with broccoli/kiwis. This morning weetabix and a banana, and for lunch lentils soup with kiwi ( It sounds so nasty)

So I gotta be careful with the raisins. Noted. Thanks. My mil keeps telling me to be more strict , that she will become a brat. So I feel a bit shitty

Ignore your MIL. She's the one that's a brat

My kid only eats pasta with tomato purée, toast, and sweet things (under paeds, I’m aware this is extreme). Tbh I’d be delighted if I’ll I had to do to get him to eat was put fruit on his plate!! If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it.

I often serve fruit with meals. I have a variety of fussy children so I do large sharing plates and everyone helps themselves. Salad plate might have lettuce, cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, apple slices all chopped but not mixed because no one likes everything.

they all manage fine with school dinners

Your Mil needs to wind her neck in. You've found a way of getting a fussy child to eat a varied and healthy diet - good on you!

The best way to eat fruit (or any sugary food) is in combination with savoury foods, complex carbs and protein. Adding fruit in small amounts to nutritious main meals is an absolute win. I'd say your daughter's diet is currently better than most children's (and probably better than MIL's).

It's a fantastic way to eat, and common enough in cuisines around the world. Sweet things are best eaten as wholefoods, at the same time as other foods - so fruit incorporated in the main meal is perfect! As long as the entire meal doesn't become sickly sweet.

I often add apple, brambles, raspberries, pomegranate to meat or fish, and mango, coconut, orange are gorgeous in salad and rice dishes. Then there was the burger with peanut butter and banana phase (oh Grubbs, how I miss you).

If DD is also choosing plain water as her drink of choice I'd say you've won the adventurous healthy eater jackpot.

Another one saying that if adding mango to meals meant DD would eat a wider variety of foods, I'd totally be up for it. DD is far fussier than yours (and a little older), and I've developed a pretty thick skin when it comes to comments on her eating. It sounds like you're winning.

Loads of sauces are sweet anyway. No one would look twice at a 7yo putting ketchup on every meal, which is probably nutritionaly worse then what your making, but it's normalised so no one comments.

Or apple sauce/ cranberry for that matter. Unless you MIL literally never has condiments she is being a hypocrite.

For a 6 nearly 7 yr old yes I think you’re being a bit U. Will it kill her, no. But her palate will get so used to only sweet tastes that she’ll just become more and more used to never having anything savoury. Plus anywhere else she goes, like school, friends, grandparents, restaurants won’t cater for this. If you must do this I would do it for 1-2 meals max a day but have 1 meal where fruit isn’t involved so she still is encouraged to try some food which doesn’t taste sweet (but equally you know she’s getting enough to eat overall). Plus obviously take a hard line on other sweet foods (fruit in dinner and also pudding, no way) and tooth brushing.

The fruit/veg crossover is likely two-way - you'll be able to offer her a red pepper or dish of cherry tomatoes as a sweet snack :)

You've mentioned a couple of times that you've tried punishing her, how do you do this?

Taking away her tablet , or making her stay in her room for 20mins. Because she is so young, I can't do more than that. Mil says I should try spanking or slapping. No. I can't.

Sounds like MIL is the problem, not DD!

Mil says I should try spanking or slapping.

Your MIL is an absolute prick.

I'm convinced your MIL is a nutter 😂

Yabu for saying kiddo

The best thing you can do is not make it a big deal. And if she eats with you then maybe in time she’ll want what you’re having.

Please don’t worry, you’re doing your best. I once had a friend who lived off chicken, bread and crackers. Terrible!! She is now perfectly fine and enjoys a full range of foods.

Making a child fearful and forcing food will only cause massive issues like eating disorders.