DGP issues

[whatmother]

I’ve posted about this woman before but I’ve returned for some advice or maybe a good telling off. Whichever is necessary.

Long story short, myself and DM fell out some weeks ago. This isn’t the first time. This is an ongoing saga that just seems never-ending.

I’m a single parent so any help I can get with DC, I will take.

Except when it comes to DM, she is just something else altogether. Please refer to my previous post if necessary.

So now, I am at my wits end. 6 weeks holiday and all that and I just need a break.

Initially, I didn’t want for DC to have unsupervised contact with DM simply because of just who she is as a person.

She’s shallow. Judgemental. Superficial. Ditsy. Complains about what I pack for her. Complains about me contacting her to check on DC’s well-being. Hell, the last time she came to my house she had an issue with one of the curtain rings being missing on my curtain rail and the curtain hanging off slightly 🤨

I have no idea what is wrong with this woman but I genuinely need a break at this point, I’m going out of my mind.

So since her father is fairly useless in this regard, DM has agreed to have her overnight this weekend.

AIBU to say No, based on our previous issues and my concerns regarding her as a grandmother in general.

Or YABU and just let DC go with her so that I can get this much needed break?

If she's that bad go non contact and suck it up being a single parent. If she's not that bad just say thank you for your offer and leave her to get on with it. Only you know which it is.

Well if you're considering it I'd assume you should just go for it. If you were completely against it it would be a hard no immediately.

This.

You either trust her or you don't

It’s really difficult to explain.

I wouldn’t say that I don’t trust her with DC. For example, if DC had a serious accident, I know that she would take her straight to A&E, no questions asked.

It’s more a case of how she feels about me and therefore my concern is that she is going to project her feelings and beliefs onto DC.

DC is still young enough that this is very unlikely to have a long-term effect.

However, am I doing DC any justice in stating that “oh it’s okay for now because she’s young and won’t remember”, or is it a case where I need to just suck it up as pp said and stick to my guns in this respect.

I have to add that I had an emotional breakdown and ended up in hospital a week ago due to this. I suffer from severe mental health issues, hence my admittance into hospital.

So in light of that fact, should I just “suck it up” and hope that I don’t experience another deterioration in terms of my mental health, or should I just allow it on this occasion in order to protect my own well-being?

I think the worry about what she'd be saying, the concern about how the DC would be treated and the post visit communication issues would make you even more stressed than if you refused.

The thing is, you’re probably right.

But I just don’t want this to be an ongoing saga, I don’t understand why she can’t just be a normal, straightforward, not excessive, not up herself, mother and grandparent?! Why?

Bottom line is that I don’t want her to end up projecting her dislike or disdain for me, onto my daughter. That’s my only issue here. Or one of the main issues, put it that way.