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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was extremely rude

17 replies

motherofdragons88 · 24/08/2022 06:24

Last night we were called to the hospital as dnan had taken a turn and she didn't have long left. Anyways we only just made it, she was in the final stages and was having her last few breaths and as she was a nurse came in to the private room may I add and started lecturing us about face masks.
Now Iv followed all rules etc throughout the pandemic it's just I was in that much of a mess I never thought to put a mask on, I'd spoken to her dr and she never said anything other than offering me refreshments and bereavement services so again just didn't think. As she's lecturing us just on DNs last breaths my DH pointed out to her that she wasn't even wearing her mask correctly (under her nose) and she didn't care she's carried on lecturing us about it all.
Am I being unreasonable to think this is extremely bad bedside manners? The last moments with my DN have been ruined by simply forgetting to wear a mask. Fair enough tell me afterwards but when she's on her final breaths I find it rude! May I add as well that this was in the next town along and the hospital in the town I live in no longer have any covid restrictions in place!

OP posts:
70billionthnamechange · 24/08/2022 06:26

She sounds awful. Some compassion would be nice. Don't dwell on that tho, try to remember your Nan and don't get bitter about idiots who don't matter. Sorry for your loss

VestPantsandSocks · 24/08/2022 06:28

Her timing was terrible but you are supposed to wear a mask inside the hospital.

Sorry for your loss.

carefullycourageous · 24/08/2022 06:29

Yes it was ill-timed. Focus on your loss, I'm sorry to hear about your Nan Flowers

chillipenguin · 24/08/2022 06:31

I'm sorry for your loss.

I am wondering if she did actually "lecture" you or if she simply reminded you of the hospital's policy and during this highly emotional time the message wasn't received well.

If she did "lecture" you then I'm sorry as it could have been handled differently.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/08/2022 06:36

Sorry for your loss.

Anger is a completely natural emotion after a loss. Focusing all your feelings on the nurse is normal but it won't help you at the moment.

Do you want to tell us about your nan?

MiddleParking · 24/08/2022 06:39

Yes, that’s utterly disgraceful behaviour on her part. Sorry for your loss OP.

JoanCandy · 24/08/2022 06:40

I’m so sorry about your Nan, I’m glad you were able to be with her at the end.

The nurse showed a total lack of empathy there, no wonder you feel angry.

motherofdragons88 · 24/08/2022 06:40

Thank you all it's very appreciated.

It was definitely a lecture, two nurses who had been doing her end of life care looked at her stunned and ended up walking out as she continued.
Watching my 61 year old mother cling to her mum crying her heart and told to stop and put a mask on immediately was awful. We spoke to the staff before entering and no one said a word. I get it's policy but it was the last thing on our minds, had they had said beforehand then fair enough id have happily taken one as I'm not against the rules. I have 3 children all in and out of hospital for various reasons and just yesterday morning we wore masks at my sons appointment.
Also like I said in my local hospital all rules have been lifted and it's like covid never happened so for a hospital just up the road to be like this was a shock.

OP posts:
MinervaTerrathorn · 24/08/2022 06:44

So sorry about your nan xx
It was completely the wrong timing and horribly insensitive.

MassiveSalad22 · 24/08/2022 06:47

That is appalling. I’m so sorry that happened OP. You can’t get those moments back. I’m fuming on your behalf!

If I didn’t need to wear a mask during my c section and DH wasn’t wearing a mask while holding new baby and talking to midwives, then you bloody well should have been left alone too!

chillipenguin · 24/08/2022 06:56

They were out of order and I'm sorry you had to deal with that

Ithinkitsenoughnow · 24/08/2022 06:57

I am absolutely sick of people who don’t wear masks properly in professional settings and then expect you to. YANBU and I’m sorry for your loss.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 24/08/2022 06:59

shocking
sorry for your family's loss
i was the only one wearing a mask at the dentist!

Vallmo47 · 24/08/2022 06:59

I would report this. Include all the vital information like nurse wearing it wrong, your nan on her final breaths. That is utterly disgusting.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Justleaveitblankthen · 24/08/2022 07:57

Vallmo47 · 24/08/2022 06:59

I would report this. Include all the vital information like nurse wearing it wrong, your nan on her final breaths. That is utterly disgusting.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

100% this. Report her. She's an utter disgrace to her profession. Don't let her put other grieving families through this.
So sorry for your loss Flowers

fghj149 · 24/08/2022 09:06

Her behaviour was absurd - 100% report her and I’m sorry for your loss 💐❤️

Dumle · 24/08/2022 09:12

VestPantsandSocks · 24/08/2022 06:28

Her timing was terrible but you are supposed to wear a mask inside the hospital.

Sorry for your loss.

They were in a private room, the nurse could have told them to wear a mask on their way out. Not in a private room and certainly not in a situation like that. That's just disgraceful.

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