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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's not too late to make something of myself?

83 replies

Ponderingbetter · 23/08/2022 18:40

I'm 28 with three young children, one of which is disabled but will be starting school full time this September. I dropped out of school before doing any GCSE's and didn't pursue any further education in the following years as to be honest my life was chaos, DV etc.. so I have no qualifications whatsoever.

I've had several jobs over the years but all are minimum wage or close to it. Retail, cleaning etc.

Recently I can't shake this urge I have to want to do better for my children, I want more from life than to be living from payday to payday and scraping by.

My dream, for as long as I can remember, has been to get into forensic psychology.

I've been looking into the open university today and talking to my friend who has just graduated in her mid 30's, I'm feeling really inspired.

AIBU to think maybe it's not too late, or is it a pipe dream at this stage?

OP posts:
Fralla · 23/08/2022 20:23

I got my first "real" job at 29. Then I studied at the Open University alongside work. I'm 39 now and in a senior management position earning £60k + commission. It is definitely not too late for you. (But you will probably have a few years to start where childcare costs are the same as your income, but it will pay off in the end)

Original poster
Ponderingbetter · 23/08/2022 21:08

I've taken note of all of your advice and I'm going to call the O.U tomorrow with a view to getting on an access course. From what i can tell I won't need to pay for it as I earn beneath the threshold so that's great.

WRT what job I'm hoping to get out of it, I'd love to work with offenders in some capacity whether that's youth offenders as suggested upthread, the probation service or in a prison itself.

As much as I'd love to be the next Emma Kenny (or not - I don't think I'd like the attention!) I agree it's a sensible idea to look toward something more obtainable 😂

OP posts:
Cocolatte24 · 23/08/2022 21:23

Such an inspirational attitude to have and for your children to see! Of course you can do it. At 28 you’re young and starting your career.

if it took you 5 years to qualify that’s still a 20-30 year career ahead of you. Go for it!

Nyna · 23/08/2022 21:28

i see you’ve already decided, but still wanted to wish you good luck! You are an inspiration to mums everywhere

kimchifox · 23/08/2022 21:28

Go for it! When I read the title I thought you would be like me - approaching 50 at a rate of knots!! You are still really young - by the time you are my age you could have been in a career for over 15 years!

Thefruitbatdancer · 23/08/2022 21:34

Congratulations and such a fantastic inspiration to your children. You're never too old to start again and empower yourself. You've had lots of brilliant advice here from amazing posters already.

What I will say is that you can always apply for a higher degree apprenticeship. You can earn money and have relevant industry experience built into your degree.

You mentioned forensic psychology l, have you thought about educationap psychology, occupational therapy, physiology and speech therapy? There is a massive staff shortage in all of these areas. So you'll never be short of a decent salaried job.

Dotcheck · 23/08/2022 21:39

if you want to go to university, you typically DO need a GCSE or equivalent in English and Math. The good news is that most colleges offer them for free if you don’t already have them. There are also some free online courses through the National Careers Service skills builder.

In this country, you need a PhD level of qualification to call yourself a psychologist. It is incredibly competitive. I’m not saying you can’t do it, but just keep your eyes open.

You say you want to work with offenders- in what capacity?

Mental health nurses can specialise and work in prisons. It is a three year degree, and then you are qualified in a professional role.
If you wish to gain more quals after, you can gain a Masters etc. There are also additional bursaries for NHS degrees while you are studying.

There are some apprenticeship pathways through as well. You may need to be working in the industry first though ( as in heath care assistant etc).

As for the prison service, there are some ‘on the job’ training pathways available. These are very different roles to mental health nursing though. Let me find a link…

Dotcheck · 23/08/2022 21:42

By the way, OP, you can get a free Careers appointment with the National Careers Service

parietal · 23/08/2022 21:47

Psychology is a great area to go into as a mature student and there can be a lot of demand for people who have a psychology degree + real world experience.

Look up the BPS pages on careers in psychology
www.bps.org.uk/find-your-career-psychology

Also, be aware that careers in Forensic are hard to find - it is not like the crime dramas on TV, most of it is offender management. But that can be very interesting, and there are also lots of options in other areas of psychology. So do get started and see what you find.

Also, @Dotcheck - you do NOT need a PhD level qualification to be a 'psychologist'. You need a clinical doctorate (3 years, like a PhD) to be a 'clinical psychologist' but there are plenty of other types of psychologist which need only an MSc level qualification.

Loveletters123 · 23/08/2022 21:50

I started my degree at 40, definitely go for it! You are still very young. It is very rewarding and will unlock so many doors for you

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 23/08/2022 21:52

Absolutely not too late. Read about the amazing Dr Sue Black - she has an incredible inspiring story. Good luck!

lurchermummy · 23/08/2022 21:53

Goodness at 28 you gave your life ahead of you, you're only just a bit older than my DD. I'm a lot older and I've had several careers and reinvented myself many times.Go for it!! What have you to lose??

keeprunning55 · 23/08/2022 21:55

Education will open up the world for you. Go for it! My dad went from being a delivery driver to a teacher in his thirties starting with gcses.

Dotcheck · 23/08/2022 22:03

@parietal
It looks like many roles require an additional qualification after the Masters?

Dotcheck · 23/08/2022 22:04

( meant to add that I’m happy to be educated on it!)

autienotnaughty · 23/08/2022 22:11

Fuck no . I'm 43 and considering a revival!!

humanwinginglife · 23/08/2022 22:12

Just got a degree myself as a 26 yr old who was pregnant at 16 and didn't get many GCSE's. Just signed into a post grad too! It's never to late Flowers

hugefanofcheese · 23/08/2022 23:55

Definitely not too late, you're still so young!

Great that you have a path in mind and definitely enquire about the access course- that could be a year well spent. I would dedicate the time and effort to researching your next step that it deserves though before deciding on a degree course.

Have a really careful think about whether you would prefer in person or at home study, whether you prefer exams or coursework, what your strengths are, what the content is of the courses you are interested in and the assessment methods, whether you can pick up some work that is relevant to the course such as mental health care work that might help strengthen your CV and applications.

I am retraining in my mid 30s and found this period of research so useful in confirming that I actually wanted to do the course in question.

Good luck!!

Dinoteeth · 24/08/2022 00:07

Op I'd go the college access course rather than straight into Open Uni.

College with real people will make explaining stuff you don't understand a WHOLE lot easier. Even being able to ask a class mate

I never got any Highers (equivalent of A levels) in school did a one year college course and so much stuff fell into place. I went onto my degree from there.

But your not too old, never too old, I've a friend I've been trying to encourage into college for years.

MuddlerInLaw · 24/08/2022 09:45

OP I'd go the college access course rather than straight into Open Uni. College with real people will make explaining stuff you don't understand a WHOLE lot easier. Even being able to ask a classmate

This is good advice. I

Firstly because if you’ve never taken any academic exams it would be sensible to try out at a lower level so you can gain some study skills without becoming overwhelmed.

And secondly, in any face to face study context you learn as much from your fellow students as from your tutors. So if you could access an in person course it would be hugely beneficial.

As pp have mentioned, the National Careers Service would be a good place to start gathering information. There are quizzes and questionnaires that might help you identify your own talents and skills, as well as advice either online or over the phone.

(This thread really does need moving to the Mature Study and Retraining board!)

twoshedsjackson · 24/08/2022 10:29

When I considered taking a Music degree, it meant five or six years of part-time study on top of the day job. A friend warned, "You'll be forty by then!" but another, wiser friend pointed out that I would reach that age regardless!
It wasn't easy sometimes, and I didn't have children in the reckoning, but the sense of achievement was great. One of my fellow students was finally doing the course he wanted to do, now that he had taken early retirement! Back in the day, his parents had insisted on the "safer " option of the Civil service.
Given a basic level of competence, we "survivors" found that it was basically a test of stamina, determination and personal organisation, and if you're already raising children successfully, I guess you're ticking those boxes - and what a great role model you are, as they see you taking education seriously and moving your life forward.

Fladdermus · 24/08/2022 10:31

You're never too old. I'm starting a full time college course tomorrow, with the hope of eventually getting to maths at university and I'm 50!

CandlelightGlow · 13/02/2023 15:32

@Ponderingbetter did you ever get started in the end? I searched for the words "forensic psychology" on here because I'm in a really similar position to you - 29, 3 young DC, have a job but really want to get a degree and my main passion is forensic psychology.

I know this is a pretty old thread, but there's a podcast on Spotify called the forensic psychology podcast. The host is American, but she talks to all sorts of FP's in various roles, and it really inspired me because it showed the breadth of roles available in this niche market outside of the prison service.

OldSpeclkledHen · 13/02/2023 15:36

Do it! Jeez you're still young! Just do it (I wish I had done sooner, an just in the middle of an OU Access course)