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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Send him a note?

23 replies

NoteorNot45 · 23/08/2022 15:33

Middle aged woman possibly having a hormone surge.

I have taken a liking to someone and I have an urge to let him know, but via a gift or a card.

If I were ten years younger, I'd ask him out. I think he's late 20s. I know, I know...

I'm not, so here we are.

I just wanted to let him know that someone really like him. Is it weird to send a note? Is it nice or creepy?

I know him from the gym - I had an introductory offer but won't be staying as it's too expensive. He's one of the PTs. I didn't have sessions with him but we chatted a lot.

Not likely to see him again. I occasionally bump into him at Tesco but it's usually at lunchtime and my whole schedule is about to change due to a new job.

I can act normal, unless he says "did you send me a card".

I know it sounds mad but sometimes you just want to put it out there. I think he's quite popular at the gym so I won't be the obvious culprit.

YABU - don't send anything, you weirdo

YANBU - send something, it's nice

OP posts:
SlappersAndFuiters · 23/08/2022 15:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Peashoots · 23/08/2022 15:37

Argh it’s so difficult op. I suppose it depends what you’re hoping to achieve from it?
not meaning to burst your bubble, but there’s a good chance he was being chatty and friendly as trying to drum up business for his PT sessions (I mean obviously not 100%! But just wondering if you’ve read a bit too much into him being chatty).
if your goal is just to make him smile then go for it- I mean, it’s nice to be liked isn’t it?
if you’re hoping for more then just tread carefully. Good luck whatever you decide x

OldEvilOwl · 23/08/2022 15:37

You want to send it anonymously? seems strange to be honest

Penguinfeather781 · 23/08/2022 15:39

You want to send someone half your age a card saying you fancy them, presumably anonymously?

Yeah, don’t. It’s creepy.

SweetSenorita · 23/08/2022 15:41

MN will say that you're a weirdo but, as one middle aged woman to another, who gives a flying fuck what MN thinks?

It's exactly the sort of thing that I've done before. And exactly the sort of thing that I'll doubtless do again.

Make somebody smile. We all need it right now 😊

SlappersAndFuiters · 23/08/2022 15:42

This reply has been deleted

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Divebar2021 · 23/08/2022 15:43

I am generally in the camp of going for it and seizing the day and I have previously dropped someone a note to ask them out ( successfully) but on this occasion I’d say no. However lovely the PT is I would just not want to be the middle aged woman with the embarrassing crush. Maybe I’m being influenced because im
also middle aged and have a PT in his 20’s and I would hate for him to think I’m a sad old cliché.

SweetSenorita · 23/08/2022 15:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

It'd make ME smile 😀

TitInATrance · 23/08/2022 15:47

Creepy.

TheVolturi · 23/08/2022 15:48

Ah fuck it. Yolo! 🤣🤣🤣

gogogadgetgo · 23/08/2022 15:51

It's creepy to send it anonymously which if I've read it right that's what you want to do

Why the fuck even do that? If you like him tell him but make it obvious who it's from. Then he can do with that what he wants.

But honestly if he's a PT it's part of his job to be chatty. All of mine in my gym are and I don't think any of them are remotely interested in me!

Don't mean to burst your bubble. Just keep your expectations realistic

Cotswoldmama · 23/08/2022 15:53

It's definitely creepy. If you like him then ask him out.

Justcallmebebes · 23/08/2022 15:54

You want to send someone half your age a card saying you fancy them, presumably anonymously?
Yeah, don’t. It’s creepy.

😂😂😂

Can you wait until Valentine's Day?

OurRescueFarm · 23/08/2022 15:57

As someone that had a card and gift (and then other things) sent to me anonymously at work years ago, please don’t. I found if really creepy. I did find out who it was, a man 15 year older than me. Apparently he thought I liked him because I was friendly....I worked in retail at the time to pay for uni, I was friendly with everyone as it was part of my job. Yuk.

Original poster
NoteorNot45 · 23/08/2022 15:57

Justcallmebebes · 23/08/2022 15:54

You want to send someone half your age a card saying you fancy them, presumably anonymously?
Yeah, don’t. It’s creepy.

😂😂😂

Can you wait until Valentine's Day?

I think he'll be leaving for his home country before then, and I'll have forgotten all about it!

I wasn't expecting anything from it and there's no way I could flirt in person.

this unanimously a bad idea, have I made an MN record?!

yes, it could be creepy, especially as you never know if someone's been harrassed etc.

OP posts:
Cas112 · 23/08/2022 15:59

No, this whole thing sounds so creepy

asnoot · 23/08/2022 16:01

Do NOT send him a gift or even a card, especially anonymously. If you want to ask him out (which I don't think sounds inappropriate at all) I think you have to do it face to face.

Alternatively I think it would be ok to look him up on social media and message him if you aren't likely to see him in the gym again, as long as you're realistic about the fact he might not welcome your advances.

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 23/08/2022 16:05

No way! Why would you do that? He might think it was from someone his own age so it would backfire on you anyway! He's a nice guy who is pleasant to women at the gym he works at, that's all.

Divebar2021 · 23/08/2022 19:57

Sorry OP… I hope you don’t feel squashed

thelittleapple · 23/08/2022 20:08

If I was at work and a customer twice my age sent me an ‘I fancy you’ note, I would feel uncomfortable. I don’t mean to be rude but I’m assuming when you say middle aged you mean you’re somewhere north of 45 (?) and the chances someone in his twenties is going to be delighted by that attention are small. Sorry, OP.

gold22 · 23/08/2022 20:20

Stop it, it's weird as fuck

MummaB22 · 23/08/2022 20:22

There is obviously other ways you could go about this. But sending a gift and a note is super super weird.

Can you connect on social media?

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 23/08/2022 20:24

You don't send a 20-something a card when you fancy them these days. If you do that he's going to think that you're as old as the hills. Find him on insta and slide into his DMs.

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