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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel that this is really rude?

10 replies

Sunsetmoonlight · 23/08/2022 15:08

Ok so on a number of occasions my in laws have given us things, then a few weeks/months later got annoyed and half demanded the item back, berating us for how long we've had it.

Don't really want to say what the things are incase mil is on here but they are things that the in laws never use anyway.

The conversation literally goes with them offering something that we didn't ask for, and saying we can just have is because they don't need it/use anymore.

A few months later annoyed asking when we are giving it back because they need it and we're hogging it, only for them to never use it anyway.

For some annoying reason dh won't just remind them that it was given to us.

OP posts:
SlappersAndFuiters · 23/08/2022 15:09

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Shoxfordian · 23/08/2022 15:11

Yep start saying no

OnTheBrinkOfChange · 23/08/2022 15:11

I wouldn't take anything off them again. It sounds like they want to appear generous while not having it clutter up their own house, only to regret it later.

MaryMcCarthy · 23/08/2022 15:12

Why don't you say to them what you've typed here? Honesty is the best policy.

Newusernameaug · 23/08/2022 15:13

Just say no thanks or clarify at the time - are you leaning this to us or giving it to us?

FetchezLaVache · 23/08/2022 15:15

They sound batshit, OP. Would DH be onside to say "Oh goody, some garden shears you never use and we don't want that you can demand back again in two months' time! Thanks but no thanks."

10HailMarys · 23/08/2022 15:16

They sound nuts, to be honest.

However, I really don't understand why you and/or your DH don't just say 'No thanks, we don't need it' or at the very least 'Happy to take it off you, but last time you gave something to us you changed your mind, so we'll only take it if you definitely aren't going to suddenly ask for it back.'

IAmAWomanNotACis · 23/08/2022 15:18

"No thanks."

Sunsetmoonlight · 23/08/2022 15:20

Yes it would be best not to accept anything else from them it's happened a number of times over several years so haven't been quick enough to learn our lesson.

One of the things we actually gave away when we moved house. Before we gave it away we checked with them whether they wanted it back and they said no just get rid of it. Maybe 3 years later they asked for it back! Wtf? I felt terrible about it even though it wasn't our fault.

I'd like dh to have reminded them that they gave it away but he won't.

OP posts:
Itsthelookitsthelook · 23/08/2022 15:22

What kind of things are you talking about?

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