Who is being unreasonable

[DettyPig]

Persons A and B messaging about having a catch up over a bottle of wine or two.

A: I’m free tonight but I have no wine in and I can’t get any as husband has the car and I’m putting the baby to bed now. Maybe we can do this another night?
B: That’s ok, I’ll come over anyway to catch up. Do you need anything from the shop?
A: Well, in that case, could you pick me up a bottle of wine and I’ll transfer you the money over.

blah blah blah, had the catch up, B turned up with 2 bottles of wine, one that B drinks and one that A drinks.

B: Oh, I’d feel bad asking you to pay for both bottles but they are £7 each so can you transfer me 14.
A: I wasn’t going to lay for both, I only asked you to pick me up one bottle and you decided to get one for yourself too? I’ll pay for one bottle.

A only drank 2 glasses anyway, and B drank the rest. Also, when A went to the bathroom, A’s husband caught B pouring some of A’s wine into B’s glass.

Hope this isn’t too difficult to follow. Fairly sure that B is being unreasonable but want to get a full perspective!

11pm? That should have been your friends cue to leave then!

I dont really understand this:
" Oh, I’d feel bad asking you to pay for both bottles but they are £7 each so can you transfer me 14." - if she felt so bad asking you to pay for both then why did she immediately go on to do just that? And why did you agree? You've now issued for all of the wine you drank AND half of the wine she drank, and you've hosted!

*paid (not issued)

I was on a date with a guy who, when he thought my back was turned, drank some of my wine. It turned out ( of course) that he was a raving alkie… B is unreasonable! And possibly more into wine than you realise.

Are you purposely misreading my posts? I DIDNT pay for both.

Infact I haven’t paid for either as she won’t send me her details!

Definitely pay for one bottle each, dead weird B nicking your wine.

How did B get home? Was it taxi?

When 1 of my friends wasn't able to go out due young children and husband away, I'd go round to their home. She'd provide the food (cook or takeaway) and cover the costs and I oaid travel/taxi costs. Was fair to us.

Her boyfriend picked her up.

Sounds like B is now put out and holding a grudge at the situation! Therefore not sending the bank details to send you a message

So strange stealing your wine?! Is she stressed?

What are your circumstances? Maybe she is struggling financially and thinks you are better off? No excuse but maybe…

Definitely don’t think she thinks we’re better off! Was just a strange thing to happen. Haven’t spoken since, we haven’t fallen out or anything I think maybe she feels either put off I won’t pay for both or embarrassed for asking? Oh well.

What did you say when she asked? Why didn't you get her bank details at the time?

Sorry, not purposely misreading just tired. I would transfer her £7 if she asks again/sends bank details, and never have her over again.

I think it's easier if someone just texts you their bank details, rather than asking them to read them out or writing them down on paper.

Sounds like OP has asked for the details, as she says 'she’s being really weird about sending me her back details so I can transfer the money over.'

Hmm drinking more than one bottle in an evening, and resorting to sneaking some of yours, suggests she may be regularly spending more on alcohol than she can afford,and may not have full control of this 😐

@Meraas yeah but if my friend said 'can you transfer me this money' I'd say 'yeah of course (or no you CF in this instance), what are your details?'

Unless the friend said she'd text them for ease and didn't or whatever.
I just would have done it straight away.

@WhiskerPatrol

I dont really understand this:
" Oh, I’d feel bad asking you to pay for both bottles but they are £7 each so can you transfer me 14." - if she felt so bad asking you to pay for both then why did she immediately go on to do just that?

I know, that made me laugh too. I think the friend has got so used to OP providing the wine that she has taken it for granted and now feels resentful at having to buy any. She couldn't say that hence her garbled attempt above.

Regardless of who travelled and whether they had to pay for a taxi and whether you should go to hers more often, blah blah blah - of course B is in the wrong and none of the other stuff people are asking is really relevant. Under normal circumstances, you provide a bottle and she brings a bottle herself. Therefore that is also what should happen here. She's weird to suggest otherwise.

Yes, would be good to know what the friend's response was to OP saying she will only for one bottle.

I doubt this is an isolated incident but I suspect if you're generally a gracious host you haven't noticed her CF tendencies before.

Did she ask you to pay at the end of the night when presumably she was pretty hammered?

She usually brings wine, I’m not trying to say im an amazing host. I’m just a normal friend who usually has wine in the cabinet and she usually brings a bottle but for some reason this time she wanted me to pay for her bottle too.

When I asked her for the bank details she just said she will message them to me later but never did and I’ve asked twice since.