How many birthday presents are too many presents?

[SpaceRat]

DD turned 5 last week.

From us she got two utility things, two toys, one book and one dvd. Then a present from each of her grandparents, 2-3 presents from other family members and 6 presents from friends so far.

Next weekend she has got a whole class birthday party so will get another 30 presents.

That's crazy, isn't it? I really wanted to limit the number of presents she gets this year but even without the whole class party it's ended up being quite a lot. With the whole class party it's just madness.

So my questions are:

1. How many presents to give your young kids on their birthday?

1. How many do they get from other people?

1. Do you make your Dc say thank you in some way? (I usually ask her to write a thank you card, or record a video Message saying thanks, or I just send them a message to thank them myself )

1. What do you do if you have just too many? Do you ask DC to regift some of them? Do you keep some back for Christmas or something else? Donate to charity?

Thank you!!

We had a whole class party, it was bonkers. We give DC a present from DH and me and one from their brother. They’ll get one each from DM and DPIL and then one from each of their aunts and uncles (three in total there), plus one of their godparents usually remembers.

I insist on thank you letters or cards (except for relatives, who we ring on the day). When they were 5, I wrote them and they signed. DS2 had a whole class party for his sixth birthday (his 5th was in lockdown) and he wrote all 20 of them over a few weeks. ‘Dear x, thank you for y, I really love it. Lots of love, DS2’.

Ours get 6 presents from us, 1 from each of us. They then get 2 or 3 from my parents, but they are the only other people who buy for them.
They say thank you when they open them, because we'll all be together.
I've never had to think about what to do if there's too many, as that's never occurred, but if I were having a party where they could potentially get 30 more presents, I'd maybe ask for gift vouchers or money to put toward something larger instead, or clothes when needed.
Even at £5 a guest, that's £150, which would be wonderful.

I think that’s fine without the class party. Honestly, I would say she can pick her three favourites, then put the rest in a separate box, and suggest she chooses from them whenever she needs to take a present to a party.

Twelve.

Ours have always got a couple of presents from us - something they've asked for, and something extra to wrap up.
We've a big family though so always loads of presents from Grandma, Nanna and Grandad and various aunts and uncles!
If you have whole class parties of course you'll get loads more, that's usually the way!

I make a list of who gave what from the class party and then use those to re-gift when invited to other class parties (ensuring the gifter isn't regifted the gift they gifted )

I like that!!

Thanks for the inputs everyone.

What do your tell your child though? Do they mind? Do they tell the other kids that their present for them is regifted? (DD talks non stop about everything and I don't want to ask her to keep anything a secret).

That's the problem with whole class parties. I learnt my lesson when I was inundated with presents with my eldest and asked people not to bring gifts for my younger child's whole class party.

On the upside you won't need to buy toys or crafts all winter. If you have the storage space that is.

@SpaceRat I went to a private school on scholarship, so for the whole class birthdays I received a lot of very expensive gifts. I was allowed to keep 3-5 out of about 20, and the rest we re-wrapped and split between the church who redistributed for children who didn’t get birthday presents etc, and a domestic violence shelter where children would often arrive with nothing.

I think it can be used as a ‘teachable moment’. Explain they are lucky to have so much, and give them the joy of bringing donations to others, let them come with you to the donation drop it off, so they are part of it.

That upbringing lent me to a lifetime of volunteering for many organisations, it really teaches children to think about others.

You can say no gifts for the party.
Honestly I just don't worry about it and let them enjoy their birthday. You'll figure out which gifts aren't really played with and can pass those on to charity.

We throw DD a party which counts as her main present, and then we will get her 1 or 2 things to open. She gets quite a lot from friends and family but most ask what to get so i can give out ideas,like lota of different playmobile or lego sets etc so it builds up to a bigger present. Presents from the class party we open, and then i get rid of some or regift, when they get so many presents they forget what they have opened, and any obvious tat goes straight in the bin

At my nephews party they said no gifts, bring contributions for the food bank- took 3 car loads. The youngsters mostly went with their parents to choose the food too!

Lots when they were very little - we stopped buying them because so many from other people.

we didn’t immediately make them donate the new ones, but because they didn’t fit in the toy boxes, we’d clear out until they did fit - so some old toys And some new ones they weren’t into would go. Make them part of this process, and donate to a charity that specifically gives toys to kids, or a toy library if you can. Kids are very responsive to the idea that some kids have no toys! If we couldn’t quite get it down in one go, we just said well we’ll see what you are bored of in a month, and then donated a few more.

Always thank you cards. But video messages also fine (except with older rellies)

Class gifts - just say no gifts. The parents will love you, and it’s always a load of annoying tat.

Oh that’s a nice idea!

I think the token gifts for parties thing will go soon, because it really is just landfill.

You are early in the cycle of this, so why not suggest that if someone wants to bring a present, then instead of a wrapped gift they put a £1 coin in a money box you have there?

The child will love having those coins to count and spend, and the parents will love you for starting a new tradition that stops them having to shop for 30 crap presents and having to deal with 30 crap presents themselves.

It depended on the year, what we thought DD may need and enjoy. Number really differed each year but maybe around 6 on average?

We don't have a large family, the grandparents give one present each, around £20. No other presents apart from party ones.

We did a class party once when DD was 5. I would say the majority of presents were nice and simple. Lots of arts & craft which DD hated to do so we put these away and either did them when she was really bored and gave some to the Christmas collection of the women shelter.

DD normally phoned the grandparents to say Thanks and she did a small card which we scanned and printed for her party guests. When they moved to smaller parties DD did an individual card.

Give her a few of the class part presents and regift the rest. Dts had a whole class part in yr and there 58 presents. Never did that again.

Our school brought in a £5 policy. Everyone puts £5 in a card. The birthday child receives up to £150 which they can use for whatever they want. Bigger gifts come from family

What you are getting sounds fine.

I don't get why it's an issue that kids get loads of presents from an all class party. Most kids don't have more than one or two class parties during their childhood I don't think so what the harm in enjoying this as a one/two off. I guess there's the environmental issue of all the plastic but lots tend to give cash now anyway. A child isn't going to become a spoiled brat from one big party...just let them enjoy it.

Dad's birthday is actually the last of the year and I don't really want to make things complicated (or rock the boat) by doing things differently and asking parents to do things differently to everyone else. Next year I might feel more comfortable with that.

That should read Dd's birthday.

(DD loves presents. My dad on the other hand is absolutely impossible to shop for. He doesn't like anything. On his birthday every year he gives presents to his guests instead!!)

You won't have many class parties so don't fret if it's too much

Make a list when opening
Text each parent to say thanks for the pens/book/doll: a personalised letter is not expected. At least i hardly ever receive one. Some
Parents dont even text

Hide some away for a rainy day.
Re-gift some.